and if i told you....
Sep. 21st, 2000 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollthis poem started playing in my head in the morning, and i think its part of the reason all i can think now is that so far my day has just been a bad jamie poem...
i left for school early, following the adice i gave cloei, figuring that if i can't have breakfast at home i might as well splurge on a hot chocolate at school while doing my readings...
somehow i convinced myself that its okay to park int he parking lot before checking out if the JFK rent-a-cop was still on duty at that lot, as going there and coming back to find a spot on campus would have taken a really long time, and for some reason passing by an illigal spot & not taking right away to see if i can find an actual parking spot, not finding one and seeing someone almost take that spot before i got to it got me angry...
oh.. i remember why... because i may have a bubble in one of my tires, but i'm really trying to ignore the fact because after driving down the same goddamn street for i don't know how long i shouldn't have hit that pothole, but i did.. and it sounded more severe then usual... and i'm pretty sure there's a bubble there, but it was dark int he parking lot & i was rushing off to get the reading done, but the car has felt weird since, and if there is a bubble there, that will be the 3rd time i lose a tire to one.
not to mention at this point buying a tire for this car would be like taking a rusted knife to an open wound after how much the radiator shit cost compounded by the fact that my parents are looking for a new car for me.
*sigh*
so i skimmed my reading at the wit's end, and ran into someone i have not seen on campus for a while. and talking for a bit, the person just sounded so much more vulgar then i remember them being before... and i was really saddened by this...
in class, it was like my mind was fidgety... i heard everything the teacher said, i understood it all, but it was like i was not able/willing to use my own head enough to get to those conclusions myself...
and you knwo its bad when someone says something really stupid in class and i'm grateful for the interuption...
we're reading hart crane right now...
given that i haven't had it in me to really sit down with the work, but most of it just hasn't touched me much... partially because in the video about him & the intro to his stuff he comes off as one of those people who attempts to sound more elite just by using more words to say somehting simple and places to much stock in his own opinions and partially because he enjoys using obscure vocabulary and i don't have the patience to spend an hour with the dictionry.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that if i dug my head out of my ass i would probably like the stuff, but what i see on the surface rubs my cynicism the wrong way...
..but...
there's this one poem...
and it reads just like a slam poem...
and i really like it...
...but... when the teacher read it allowed i heard it in jamie's voice!
not like hearing voices here, more like this is how my conscious translates the input to make it more accesible.
i think this is partially because i've had exit wounds stuck in my head all day, and kira probably will not be duelly(sp) amused because if jamie ever caught wind of this... well... lets just say the world (or maybe just the state of california) may not be able to take such an ego burst... (heh.. maybe then the state will finally splinter off and sink intot he ocean! now that would be amusingly apropos)
so yeah...
and of course nothing was improved by the drive home, during which i got too impatient to sit in traffic on 93, took exit 17, and somehow managed to lose mass ave and end up in fenway... yeah, go me for finding the slowest route from point a to b
and now i am home... pissy and annoyed...
i left for school early, following the adice i gave cloei, figuring that if i can't have breakfast at home i might as well splurge on a hot chocolate at school while doing my readings...
somehow i convinced myself that its okay to park int he parking lot before checking out if the JFK rent-a-cop was still on duty at that lot, as going there and coming back to find a spot on campus would have taken a really long time, and for some reason passing by an illigal spot & not taking right away to see if i can find an actual parking spot, not finding one and seeing someone almost take that spot before i got to it got me angry...
oh.. i remember why... because i may have a bubble in one of my tires, but i'm really trying to ignore the fact because after driving down the same goddamn street for i don't know how long i shouldn't have hit that pothole, but i did.. and it sounded more severe then usual... and i'm pretty sure there's a bubble there, but it was dark int he parking lot & i was rushing off to get the reading done, but the car has felt weird since, and if there is a bubble there, that will be the 3rd time i lose a tire to one.
not to mention at this point buying a tire for this car would be like taking a rusted knife to an open wound after how much the radiator shit cost compounded by the fact that my parents are looking for a new car for me.
*sigh*
so i skimmed my reading at the wit's end, and ran into someone i have not seen on campus for a while. and talking for a bit, the person just sounded so much more vulgar then i remember them being before... and i was really saddened by this...
in class, it was like my mind was fidgety... i heard everything the teacher said, i understood it all, but it was like i was not able/willing to use my own head enough to get to those conclusions myself...
and you knwo its bad when someone says something really stupid in class and i'm grateful for the interuption...
we're reading hart crane right now...
given that i haven't had it in me to really sit down with the work, but most of it just hasn't touched me much... partially because in the video about him & the intro to his stuff he comes off as one of those people who attempts to sound more elite just by using more words to say somehting simple and places to much stock in his own opinions and partially because he enjoys using obscure vocabulary and i don't have the patience to spend an hour with the dictionry.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that if i dug my head out of my ass i would probably like the stuff, but what i see on the surface rubs my cynicism the wrong way...
..but...
there's this one poem...
and it reads just like a slam poem...
and i really like it...
...but... when the teacher read it allowed i heard it in jamie's voice!
not like hearing voices here, more like this is how my conscious translates the input to make it more accesible.
i think this is partially because i've had exit wounds stuck in my head all day, and kira probably will not be duelly(sp) amused because if jamie ever caught wind of this... well... lets just say the world (or maybe just the state of california) may not be able to take such an ego burst... (heh.. maybe then the state will finally splinter off and sink intot he ocean! now that would be amusingly apropos)
so yeah...
and of course nothing was improved by the drive home, during which i got too impatient to sit in traffic on 93, took exit 17, and somehow managed to lose mass ave and end up in fenway... yeah, go me for finding the slowest route from point a to b
and now i am home... pissy and annoyed...
