so its been a couple of days...
Nov. 27th, 2001 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolli think i've said this before - i just don't feel like sharing.
(second try at an entry here - i don't really understand why i feel the need to put something up)
i hate being disappointed by people. just when i think i'm not expecting anything, that i'm just hanging chill, someone manages to prove me wrong.
on some levels, i wonder why expect any different - why i think that people i know should be honest and honorable just because they're people my lifepath has crossed. and on other levels, i wonder about just where i am in life that i keep running into disappointments and don't take it as a sign to step to a different road.
the other day, s. was asking me about my life... she wanted to be reassured that i'm not in the hole i was in three and a half years ago... but in a way, i felt like i was being asked to justify who i am, and who i am here with. instinctively, i resented that. i don't hold it against her, i just resent that. its so easy to find negatives when you're looking for them. only it then struck me that i have such an easier time picking out the negatives then i do finding the positives... is this my sad-angsty-gothy-whatever perspective? or is that the truth? and how much of that am i comfortable with?
i think, in an odd way, its making me reevaluate some things tobi has said over the years.
and on that note, i think i'm done for now.
(second try at an entry here - i don't really understand why i feel the need to put something up)
i hate being disappointed by people. just when i think i'm not expecting anything, that i'm just hanging chill, someone manages to prove me wrong.
on some levels, i wonder why expect any different - why i think that people i know should be honest and honorable just because they're people my lifepath has crossed. and on other levels, i wonder about just where i am in life that i keep running into disappointments and don't take it as a sign to step to a different road.
the other day, s. was asking me about my life... she wanted to be reassured that i'm not in the hole i was in three and a half years ago... but in a way, i felt like i was being asked to justify who i am, and who i am here with. instinctively, i resented that. i don't hold it against her, i just resent that. its so easy to find negatives when you're looking for them. only it then struck me that i have such an easier time picking out the negatives then i do finding the positives... is this my sad-angsty-gothy-whatever perspective? or is that the truth? and how much of that am i comfortable with?
i think, in an odd way, its making me reevaluate some things tobi has said over the years.
and on that note, i think i'm done for now.
