my body has lousy timing

sometimes it just sucks being a woman.
once a month, for 4-5 days.
*bleagh*
yesterday my pms was so bad i was almost infantile.
emotionally i would go into pits, then come up far enough to realize that its all in my head, but not enough to help it, and then back...
and i could barely move at all...
i spent most of the day curled up in a blanket watching tv because it was the closest to drowning out the world and because i couldn't really be or go anywhere else...
so many props to bill for putting up with me and taking care of me when he got home...

and today the emotional stuff is (finally!) gone, but the cramps are so bad i am barely moving.
i am so not looking forward to having class soon... i don't know how i am going to make it through... right now i am trying to convince myself that i shouldn't go in in the sweats i am wearing... but getting dressed seems too much at the moment : (
*grumble*
my body always picks the most horrible times to put me through this shit...

...i just so wish i had a double to got to class for me today...

the world isn't so big and bad...

...once you step out into it rather then watching from afar.
so i actually made it out of the house and survived the (short) school day : )
not that it didn't go without disappointments, but such is life...
i'm just still rather unhappy that i was told to drop my communicating in russian class...
i can understand where the professor is coming from in not allowing fluent speakers into the class, but there were no prereq's and it was kinda sucky to have a genuine interest in learning turned down like that.
and now i gotta go picking another class, too.. and with the sucky way they've done the sceduling this year, when i want to take classes, there's the least amount offered...
hrmph!
my other class seems okay, though... the course work looks interesting and tolerable, and i like the professor's attitude, which is a good sign...
in between the two classes, i also ventured up to the english department... boy was that a mixed experience...
rather then going through the motions of setting me up with an appointment with an advisor, the secretary rifled off info at me which was helpful, but not what i was looking for...
because damnit - i just want to sit down with an advisor who will look over what i have and haven't done and talk to me about it... and i understand that they're busy, and that i did just kinda stand there & let her shuffle me about, but i can still be unhappy with it, can't i??
so that was my day at school.
i also elected to (a) not deal witht he bursar's office today and (b) not attempt to brave the lines at the bookstore and leave those (icky, icky) tasks for when the cramps die down a bit.
next goal is to actually be productive for the rest of today...
well, after being online for a while & taking a relaxing hsower, that is : )

on the way home i kept thinking about how boring my life has become... even got the urge to use the weekend for a spontaneous trip to NY - and then shot that idea down within seconds...
but really, all i have been doing with my life is going to school, doing homework, and the occasional party/club outing.
nothing new, nothing exciting, hell, even nothing intellectual...
and a large part of the problem is funding.
i have no income therefore i don't have the $$ to go much of anywhere.
but there's free/cheap stuff out there...
and i have been too tired/too wrapped up in these less-complex-then-i-make-them-out to be routines.
and when i do sit back and think about it, it makes me nautious.
i want to do something fun damnit!
something stimulating!

but... will i?
at this point i just have a severe lack of faith in myself to actually get up of my ass and do something.
and i think that sucks.
and usually when i find something about me that sucks i try to change it.
but, life is just a matter of priorities, and this particular issue happens to be below all the other shite like 'do well in school' 'try to keep house clean' and even 'update journal'.
i guess thats the part i have a problem with...
i have spent so much of my time trying to fit everything into a neat little schedule, that when something pops up that just doesn't fit, i don't know what to do and end up dropping the issue.
so looks like i just stumbled upon another problem.
but sadly, yet another one that doesn't fitinto the top section of my priority list
*sigh*
so i guess i was just bitching and whining for no reason yet again...
i just wish i could think of something fun to do for tonight : (
oh well... time to stop the bitching...