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its so hard to find words...
Sep. 11th, 2001 05:46 pm...today has just been so emotionally exhausting.
i feel so lucky that those i care for have been accounted for - adam never took off, stepdad's mom was on 34th street, and is supposedly en route home now. close family friend was downtown, is unscathed, and trying to head home, HS friend kristine is in washington (she interns during her summers) and is also ok.
i can't imagine how many people must've been in there...
i can't begin to imagine how many people must've gotten hurt from falling debris..
and most of all, (and i feel like such a jerk for this) i can't imagine manhattan without the twins.
when we first flew into america, i was exhausted after the 13 hour flight and 5 hour wait through customs, and fell asleep as soon as we got into the car. my stepdad had taken the verazzano to get into jersey, and my mom shook me awake to show me the twin towers - how massive and gorgeous they were in the NY skyline.
when i first started going to NY, they were always my point of reference. partially because, up until a year ago, more often then not, my stepdad and both his parents worked within the vicinity. and because i used to take the PATH in... and because they just became familiar.
i remember being at the observation deck during a snowstorm... seeing the nutcracker live for my first time there.. meeting up with family on numerous occasions...
up until i got my license and started driving into the city, i used to know which things were in each tower, and the best ways to get around - now all that is fuzzy beyond recognition.
one of the first things i did when getting home was go through my photos, be disappointed that i only have one photo of the towers here with me, and then stick it up on the fridge.
i so want to go back to NJ to dig up my other ones - i should have at least a dozen. one was taken lying down at the base of one of the twins and shooting up...
and there are so many unanswered questions.
who. why. if they said 8 planes were hijacked and only 4 crashed, what happened with the rest? what happened with the PA plane? when will they release info from the black box? what happens next?
i went to give adam a ride somewhere and the surreal factor of all emotional events struck me - that life outside doesn't seem to have changed. people are in their cars, driving around, having normal conversations, etc. as usual, it makes me angry inside... but there's also the realization that i, in my car, probably appear the same way.
i just feel such a loss.
i feel so lucky that those i care for have been accounted for - adam never took off, stepdad's mom was on 34th street, and is supposedly en route home now. close family friend was downtown, is unscathed, and trying to head home, HS friend kristine is in washington (she interns during her summers) and is also ok.
i can't imagine how many people must've been in there...
i can't begin to imagine how many people must've gotten hurt from falling debris..
and most of all, (and i feel like such a jerk for this) i can't imagine manhattan without the twins.
when we first flew into america, i was exhausted after the 13 hour flight and 5 hour wait through customs, and fell asleep as soon as we got into the car. my stepdad had taken the verazzano to get into jersey, and my mom shook me awake to show me the twin towers - how massive and gorgeous they were in the NY skyline.
when i first started going to NY, they were always my point of reference. partially because, up until a year ago, more often then not, my stepdad and both his parents worked within the vicinity. and because i used to take the PATH in... and because they just became familiar.
i remember being at the observation deck during a snowstorm... seeing the nutcracker live for my first time there.. meeting up with family on numerous occasions...
up until i got my license and started driving into the city, i used to know which things were in each tower, and the best ways to get around - now all that is fuzzy beyond recognition.
one of the first things i did when getting home was go through my photos, be disappointed that i only have one photo of the towers here with me, and then stick it up on the fridge.
i so want to go back to NJ to dig up my other ones - i should have at least a dozen. one was taken lying down at the base of one of the twins and shooting up...
and there are so many unanswered questions.
who. why. if they said 8 planes were hijacked and only 4 crashed, what happened with the rest? what happened with the PA plane? when will they release info from the black box? what happens next?
i went to give adam a ride somewhere and the surreal factor of all emotional events struck me - that life outside doesn't seem to have changed. people are in their cars, driving around, having normal conversations, etc. as usual, it makes me angry inside... but there's also the realization that i, in my car, probably appear the same way.
i just feel such a loss.
