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Sep. 27th, 2002 03:45 pmmy body failed me last night.
at some point, i just lost the ability to function... i remember having the my-heart-beating-is-sucking-out-all-my-energy feeling, but it wasn't overly intense... but for some reason, it was combined with the inability-to-function feeling i get right when i'm waking up from a nap.
ugh.
i don't know if its the fact that i was napping earlier on (and woke up fine), pms, not having enough ____ in my system or what, but it sucked. and add to that the fact that i hate it when me not functioning properly affects other people. i just laid down and closed my eyes. it didn't feel like sleeping - it felt more like shutting down into blankness. sleep has a certain comfort to it for me, and that didn't.
and to top it off, i've got a mild version of that feeling right now, which is making me debate buying spray-vitamins again.
in other news, i talked to my grandma today. every morning since my parents left, abi looks for them when she first wakes up. today, she asked why they went. my grandma's been telling her that they left for a work-trip and said that they're away making money so they can buy her presents... and abi told her that she doesn't want presents. it makes me want to run up and hug her.
she also must've been catching bits of what my grandma's been saying to me over the past couple of days, and after asking about her parents, asked if i had come by. which, combined with my grandma saying it'd prolly be good for her to see me (which is kinda her way of asking for help) makes me pissed at myself for listening to my mom and making plans around here rather then arrangements to spend time there. hrmph.
the socks are here. i'm waiting to divvy them up between her and myself, but was very amused that one of the pairs has pot leafs all over them.
i'm trying to concentrate on the fact that i've got stuff to look forward to right now... tomorrow night should be fun, there's a few things in town over the next couple of weeks that i want to see, i've plans to go to tori amos and i need to finish up planning the costa rica trip. its just fighting with feeling sick, schoolstress and housestress right now. hrmph.
at some point, i just lost the ability to function... i remember having the my-heart-beating-is-sucking-out-all-my-energy feeling, but it wasn't overly intense... but for some reason, it was combined with the inability-to-function feeling i get right when i'm waking up from a nap.
ugh.
i don't know if its the fact that i was napping earlier on (and woke up fine), pms, not having enough ____ in my system or what, but it sucked. and add to that the fact that i hate it when me not functioning properly affects other people. i just laid down and closed my eyes. it didn't feel like sleeping - it felt more like shutting down into blankness. sleep has a certain comfort to it for me, and that didn't.
and to top it off, i've got a mild version of that feeling right now, which is making me debate buying spray-vitamins again.
in other news, i talked to my grandma today. every morning since my parents left, abi looks for them when she first wakes up. today, she asked why they went. my grandma's been telling her that they left for a work-trip and said that they're away making money so they can buy her presents... and abi told her that she doesn't want presents. it makes me want to run up and hug her.
she also must've been catching bits of what my grandma's been saying to me over the past couple of days, and after asking about her parents, asked if i had come by. which, combined with my grandma saying it'd prolly be good for her to see me (which is kinda her way of asking for help) makes me pissed at myself for listening to my mom and making plans around here rather then arrangements to spend time there. hrmph.
the socks are here. i'm waiting to divvy them up between her and myself, but was very amused that one of the pairs has pot leafs all over them.
i'm trying to concentrate on the fact that i've got stuff to look forward to right now... tomorrow night should be fun, there's a few things in town over the next couple of weeks that i want to see, i've plans to go to tori amos and i need to finish up planning the costa rica trip. its just fighting with feeling sick, schoolstress and housestress right now. hrmph.
