![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Nov. 3rd, 2002 08:02 pmit feels both late and early all at the same time.
i'm having an odd, downish day today. woke up around noon, walked out to the kitchen to see it in disarray and people crashed out on the couch, and just retreated back to my room.
it was another 2 hours before i wandered out again, cleand up the kitchen, and settled in to watch a movie trying to decide what to eat & then forcing myself to try and eat it.
i ended up having like a third of a thing of pasta roni, and have been back in my room since, aside from trips to the bathroom and for more water.
the house is all dark and empty and it just feels weird to me right now.
since i left the book i'm curently reading at his house, i've spent most of my afternoon rereading the master and margarita. reading the first chapter can definately be described as a comfort activity. my mom had tried to get me to start the book since i was 7 or 8, but i wouldn't get into it. so, between the ages of 7/8 and 16, my mom read the first chapter aloud to me a few times, usually when i was in bed, sick. and i really love the book, even if the translation i have now isn't my favorite one. and you'd think, for all this, i'd read the book in the original, right??
i think today's lesson is that i partied a little too hard. the lesson underneath that, though, is one i should have learned a long time ago - if i'm craving a very specific experience, i should get rid of the craving before considering such an experience - otherwise, it becomes more about fulfilling the craving and its expectations then the experience itself.
overall, its been a very underproductive weekend. a part of me is scared shitless that this is SAD setting in rather then just a passing downslide. there's so much that i need to do... and some of it, rather irrationally, is very intimidating.
i'm having an odd, downish day today. woke up around noon, walked out to the kitchen to see it in disarray and people crashed out on the couch, and just retreated back to my room.
it was another 2 hours before i wandered out again, cleand up the kitchen, and settled in to watch a movie trying to decide what to eat & then forcing myself to try and eat it.
i ended up having like a third of a thing of pasta roni, and have been back in my room since, aside from trips to the bathroom and for more water.
the house is all dark and empty and it just feels weird to me right now.
since i left the book i'm curently reading at his house, i've spent most of my afternoon rereading the master and margarita. reading the first chapter can definately be described as a comfort activity. my mom had tried to get me to start the book since i was 7 or 8, but i wouldn't get into it. so, between the ages of 7/8 and 16, my mom read the first chapter aloud to me a few times, usually when i was in bed, sick. and i really love the book, even if the translation i have now isn't my favorite one. and you'd think, for all this, i'd read the book in the original, right??
i think today's lesson is that i partied a little too hard. the lesson underneath that, though, is one i should have learned a long time ago - if i'm craving a very specific experience, i should get rid of the craving before considering such an experience - otherwise, it becomes more about fulfilling the craving and its expectations then the experience itself.
overall, its been a very underproductive weekend. a part of me is scared shitless that this is SAD setting in rather then just a passing downslide. there's so much that i need to do... and some of it, rather irrationally, is very intimidating.
