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Jul. 30th, 2003 12:13 pmoverall, i'm in a good mood today. good memories from last night, and just feeling appreciative of the good things in my life right now.
i'm also feeling resentful, because i feel like i don't have the time to really sit back and enjoy the good things. work, school, planning and plans are making me run around like a chicken with my head cut off, or at least feel like i do even when i have some downtime.
on the other hand, i should also be able to enjoy this burst of activity, as come fall and SAD, i will likely slow down to crawl, which i'm beyond not looking forward to.
so yeah, time.
fun plans tonight, i need to go shopping and do homework tomorrow, Friday night should be fun, Saturday is being slightly social and then reworking my room, and Sunday is reserved for working on my paper.
next week'll prolly look similar.
and i just made the sucky decision to cancel my sister's visit.
without saying anything to me, my parents planned a camping trip to PA for the weekend after this one, which leaves me annoyed with them for a couple of reasons - making the plans before saying anything means i can't have debbie visit on a weekend that's optimal for me, and my life is on a tighter schedule then their at the moment. also, last summer, they'd go north to camp, and i'd drive down and join them. now, they're driving down, which makes it not-worth it for me to join them, and its as distancing as when they decided to stop vacationing at the cape - they could do something that i have the option of joining, but decide to do something that doesn't have that option.
and i know why it makes sense for them, but it still sucks to be shafted like that.
so yeah, no debbie visit.
they're not willing to reschedule their camping trip, and the weekend of the 16th will be the last weekend before BM, and i will have a paper to write - its the latter that is more of an obstacle.
school will start by the time i come back, her only days off will be religious holidays, and then it will be too cold. *sigh* i guess the good news is that i won't spend money i don't have carting her around town.
i'm less then looking forward to class tonight; i'm going to get my crappy paper back and a topics list for the next one.
i dozed in the last class, more because i was beat then the class being boring, but that's a bad thing. i hate how easily i fall asleep in classes.
and sleep. i got enough hours of it in the last couple of night, and i slept fairly well, but i just don't feel rested.
one of my dreams last night was about a beach getting flooded with shark-infested ocean, and i wasn't scared because i knew where i'd be safe from the sharks, and any of the tourists who didn't know were stupid enough in being there to deserve what came to them. pleasant, eh?
talking about it, though, reminded me of a dream i had a few months ago, where the beach was between the ocean and a set of short mountains/tall hills, the water level was rising, huge waves were coming, and there were sharks on the other end. the dangers included being picked up by a wave, being slammed into the rocks, or surviving both and ending up with the sharks.
oddly enough, the dream where i was "safe" was at a murky beach - cloudy sky, dark water, shadowy/yellow sand. the beach where i (and my family) was(were) in danger, was bright, sunny, with blue skies, blue water and bright, light sand. i'm curious whether the contrast means anything.
i'm also feeling resentful, because i feel like i don't have the time to really sit back and enjoy the good things. work, school, planning and plans are making me run around like a chicken with my head cut off, or at least feel like i do even when i have some downtime.
on the other hand, i should also be able to enjoy this burst of activity, as come fall and SAD, i will likely slow down to crawl, which i'm beyond not looking forward to.
so yeah, time.
fun plans tonight, i need to go shopping and do homework tomorrow, Friday night should be fun, Saturday is being slightly social and then reworking my room, and Sunday is reserved for working on my paper.
next week'll prolly look similar.
and i just made the sucky decision to cancel my sister's visit.
without saying anything to me, my parents planned a camping trip to PA for the weekend after this one, which leaves me annoyed with them for a couple of reasons - making the plans before saying anything means i can't have debbie visit on a weekend that's optimal for me, and my life is on a tighter schedule then their at the moment. also, last summer, they'd go north to camp, and i'd drive down and join them. now, they're driving down, which makes it not-worth it for me to join them, and its as distancing as when they decided to stop vacationing at the cape - they could do something that i have the option of joining, but decide to do something that doesn't have that option.
and i know why it makes sense for them, but it still sucks to be shafted like that.
so yeah, no debbie visit.
they're not willing to reschedule their camping trip, and the weekend of the 16th will be the last weekend before BM, and i will have a paper to write - its the latter that is more of an obstacle.
school will start by the time i come back, her only days off will be religious holidays, and then it will be too cold. *sigh* i guess the good news is that i won't spend money i don't have carting her around town.
i'm less then looking forward to class tonight; i'm going to get my crappy paper back and a topics list for the next one.
i dozed in the last class, more because i was beat then the class being boring, but that's a bad thing. i hate how easily i fall asleep in classes.
and sleep. i got enough hours of it in the last couple of night, and i slept fairly well, but i just don't feel rested.
one of my dreams last night was about a beach getting flooded with shark-infested ocean, and i wasn't scared because i knew where i'd be safe from the sharks, and any of the tourists who didn't know were stupid enough in being there to deserve what came to them. pleasant, eh?
talking about it, though, reminded me of a dream i had a few months ago, where the beach was between the ocean and a set of short mountains/tall hills, the water level was rising, huge waves were coming, and there were sharks on the other end. the dangers included being picked up by a wave, being slammed into the rocks, or surviving both and ending up with the sharks.
oddly enough, the dream where i was "safe" was at a murky beach - cloudy sky, dark water, shadowy/yellow sand. the beach where i (and my family) was(were) in danger, was bright, sunny, with blue skies, blue water and bright, light sand. i'm curious whether the contrast means anything.
