elvendoll

i.don't.get.it

i went to bed early last night - right around midnight.
i overslept, having forgotten to set my alarmclock to actually ring, and slept till 8:26.
and when i looked in the mirror this morning, my eyes were swollen, with big blue bags under them and my brain still feels pickled.
the eye thing is extra weird... the homework i was reading last night was scanned text into an image. i was really hoping for book-reading and not monitor-reading, but decided to stick through it. and my bad eye started getting irritated and teary. to the point that i read most of the homework with that eye closed and seriously contemplated throwing a 5 year old contact into it. a part of me is really scared this is a sign of the eye going permanently useless. i was warned that could happen, and i really want to get lasik surgery, but i keep putting it off. kinda like i keep putting off the wisdom teeth extraction surgery.
gah.
maybe i should get off my ass, borrow the $$ from my parents and get that stuff done : /

speaking of surgery, my grandfather had his consultation yesterday. it looks like they'll be scheduling it for early December, and the doc gave a 98% chance of success, which i'd guess is among the best odds they can give. still makes me uncomfortable, though.

and lets see... the revised plan for last night ended up being: a run to trader joe's for frozen meals for the next week+. i don't know what i would do without that place! although the obvious answer is that i would actually cook. hrmm. come to think of it... maybe i should cook tonight.... after that, i actually sat down and wrote out the writing project for school. i don't like how it turned out, but its done, and submitted, and now i need to hurry my ass through the rest of it - i have a feeling December 14th will sneak up on me before i expect it. bottom line is that i need a c in the class to transfer the credits, and my other two assignments have been an a and an a-. then i saw him while we ate, dropped into blockbuster to rent blue to watch tonight, came home, did homework reading and went to bed.
exciting, eh?

tonight will be another attempt at costco, watching blue, and hopefully even more homework. yeah.
overall, i'm trying to keep ultra-focussed on the little things. it may sound like i'm making a big deal out of little stuff, but that's kinda what i need right now - to concentrate on every step and force myself to get it done. with fall, and the feeling of not having a safety net below me, i'm really scared of slipping and am holding on to whatever i can. and overall, i think i'm doing a better job this year then the previous few.

gah. i'm a moron. i didn't put my name into the .doc file of my assignment. got spanked for it. second time i've fucked up handing in my assignment. someone shoot me???

and yeah. i overslept today. after somehow managing to unplug my alarmclock instead of hitting snooze yesterday. *shakes head* woke up at 8:26, ran out of the house within 15 minutes, neglecting to shower or do the other couple of things i needed to.
had a dream i was on a cruise, and a surprising amount of people from HS were there. first was nicola - and things were a little distant was ok. next was liz, and she was noticeably cold. which, considering, may not be too far from what an actual meeting might be like, even if i hope it'd be different. and then was ed. ran into him in a line trying to find my shoes (it was a weird dream) and said 'hey... there's like a high school reunion... i'm going to meet liz and nicola, want to come?" and he just looked me up and down, and said no. and as i was walking away, i could hear him telling people how i was such a snot to him in HS.
and its weird... because i probably was... he just wasn't someone i really wanted to be friends with ... and i was so far from being "cool" that i never thought i mattered... if that makes any sense...
and of course, i can pick out where each part of my dream comes from.