(no subject)
Oct. 21st, 2000 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollso i got through to bill's work.
he's working till midnight.
and i'm still ripshit.
and that just adds in hours before its all cleared up.
not to mention that he's going to be so tired he won't be able to help with any cleaning at all when he gets home.
and that doesn't add to my mood at all.
all i want right now is for everything to just go away.
i've been holding back tears for almost an hour now, and its getting harder/
i just wish there was somewhere i could just disapear to where its not messy, where its not cluterred, and where everything is okay.
its like we were at ed's house last night, and i was amazed at how nicely its furnished.
and i realized how much it bugs me to live somewhere that doesn't look nice.
that doesn't have a dinner table.
that he mismatching furniture everywhere.
i don't know.
maybe i'll even call some family friends that live int he marblehead/dalem area and see if i can go there for a bit. i just don't want to talk about how i am doing at school. thats too much of a sore spot right now. and if i go there, that'll probably happen *sigh*
anything but here right now.
anything other then this anger.
its so hard not to just climb under the blankets and escape... so hard to keep telling myself that fucking up my sleep schedule is a sure sign of losing the battle.
he's working till midnight.
and i'm still ripshit.
and that just adds in hours before its all cleared up.
not to mention that he's going to be so tired he won't be able to help with any cleaning at all when he gets home.
and that doesn't add to my mood at all.
all i want right now is for everything to just go away.
i've been holding back tears for almost an hour now, and its getting harder/
i just wish there was somewhere i could just disapear to where its not messy, where its not cluterred, and where everything is okay.
its like we were at ed's house last night, and i was amazed at how nicely its furnished.
and i realized how much it bugs me to live somewhere that doesn't look nice.
that doesn't have a dinner table.
that he mismatching furniture everywhere.
i don't know.
maybe i'll even call some family friends that live int he marblehead/dalem area and see if i can go there for a bit. i just don't want to talk about how i am doing at school. thats too much of a sore spot right now. and if i go there, that'll probably happen *sigh*
anything but here right now.
anything other then this anger.
its so hard not to just climb under the blankets and escape... so hard to keep telling myself that fucking up my sleep schedule is a sure sign of losing the battle.
