(no subject)

[elvendoll]

a last minute change to last night's plans turned into an evening so nice that the memories of having been stressed in the pre-planning of it aren't really registering on the radar. yum.
i think it's kind of sad that i need drastic shifts to let go of the work-stress i'm carrying around these days. even sadder is that i think i've slipped into a bad loop with it, and my confidence about being able to snap out of it soonsoonsoon is a bit shaky. (can we have spring, now, please?)


when i was 7 or 8, my mom randomly picked up the truffle i was eating and took a bite out of it while i watched. she then saw me looking, and started chastising me for being greedy and not wanting her to have some of my candy. it really struck me, because i hadn't felt that at all, but denying it didn't convince my mom. from that point on, and up until a couple of years ago (when i reminded my mom of the incident) i made a point of averting my eyes whenever she was taking something from my plate. unsurprisingly, my mom didn't remember the incident, while i count it as one of the more traumatic memories of my childhood that had left me paranoid for years.

my question is - what do you do if you've been misinterpreted because of an action that is involuntary/not conscious?

update: i think i found an answer, but feedback is still welcome : )



and, on a related note, it seems that i'm hard to read. do you have any thoughts on what about me makes me hard to read?

Comments

[veek.livejournal.com]

Having you guys show up was the best surprise in a while. :)

What I do after feeling like I've been misinterpreted depends heavily on who did the misinterpreting. If it's mindlace, for instance (rarely, but we do misread one another), we generally clear it in minutes. With my mom, if it happens at all it takes years.

You're hard for me personally to read because I feel that you don't say everything you're thinking. It's an admirable skill, actually; I'd like to someday have it. But it does render the gettig-to-know-you process a bit longer. Which is the main reason I'm a bit sad about August.

Hope you two are having fun over there. Sorry I called D.'s phone and not yours, but my voice mail didn't register your number and I don't have it anywhere!

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

my issue is more that my knee jerk reaction is to try and not do whatever it was that was misinterpeted to prevent issues from cropping up - like averting my eyes whenever my mom was grabbing something from my plate - but that's not a good solution in life.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

Having you guys show up was the best surprise in a while. :)

Ditto! I was told a V would be there, but I wasn't sure which one it would be...

And, my question is less about clearing it up, and more about being faced with the possibility that something done unconsciously can have a strong and negative affect on someone(s).

You're hard for me personally to read because I feel that you don't say everything you're thinking.

*decides to skip the social anxiety tangent, and might post it separately tomorrow*

Sorry I called D.'s phone and not yours, but my voice mail didn't register your number and I don't have it anywhere!

that's totally cool - though I am glad you mentioned it here, as it seems that his phone doesn't do reminder beeps when he misses calls. I hope you guys are having a good night, too : )

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

do you have any thoughts on what about me makes me hard to read?

To me, your facial expressions when you seem to be feeling reserved don't convey much about your internal state. Which makes sense -- it means you're succeeding at being reserved, right? :) But it also means that if you haven't already started to open up, I've got no idea what's up in your head. When you seem at ease, though, you seem a lot easier to read. When we've come over to your home turf for brunch, for example, you have always carried a lot more expression in your face.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Also, I loved your small story: it reminds me of the times I've been strongly affected, both positively and negatively, by the smallest offhanded action of a loved one.

[hawver.livejournal.com]

The tone of your voice rarely changes, which makes it:

1. Hard to get a handle on your emotional state
2. Really funny when you start yelling ("I just lost my network connection, this is BEYOND NOT COOL!!!")

[sol3.livejournal.com]

dude, you've heard her yell?

[hawver.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah man, she straight up flew off the handle at me, it was freakin hi-larious.