(no subject)

[elvendoll]

i was having the closest thing i get to nightmares all night last night - the dream involved being chased, kidnapped, multiple failed escape attempts and multiple guns. in some ways, less distressing then the dream in which i effectively killed the person chasing me (by kicking him hard enough to knock him out and then leaving him in a burning building) in most ways, but more distressing in that there was no resolution.
i kept waking up, rearranging, and then falling back into the same dream, too.

that, in combination with other stuff from the weekend, has left me feeling very emotionally frail today. i know this'll pass with time, but i'd prefer for it to happen now, please.

thinking about how intense this weekend was, i realized that life's been fairly intense for me lately. usually, intensity is really good, as it means i'm breaking through walls, but lately, it's been more about work-stress having added so much tension that being able to be there for anything has been requiring a lot more intensity. have i mentioned that i'd like for it to be spring? i'd really like to be playing with a full deck again.

on top of doing weird things to my sleep schedule, i also did weird things to my feeding patterns. i barely had dinner on Friday, ate a granola bar and two apples on Saturday and then had half a johnny d's waffle (usually, i can finish one without a problem), 2 things of hot cocoa and some popcorn yesterday.


after work and class, i didn't get home till 10pm, ate some popcorn and am now thinking of going to bed without doing a thing. ugh.