(no subject)
Apr. 13th, 2005 10:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollmy grandparents are in boston right now.
yesterday, they drove here with three of their friends, met up with a friend of one of the friends, and i went to the cheesecake factory with the whole bunch.
on the up side, it was really good to see them and get a chunk of good social time with them.
i'm not quite sure what to think of this, but i really enjoy spending time with my grandparents in social situations, but being around just them, together or separately, tends to wear me thin in short periods of time.
on the downside, it left me totally broken.
when i was leaving, my grandfather made a point of walking me to my car. with one set of looks, we managed to communicate that i know about the diagnosis - and that look from him still haunts me. when we were saying goodbye, he told me to come to him if i need help. and trying to balance that with the knowledge that, in a few years, he might not recognize me is very painful.
instead of going to singularity,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sol3 came over and held me while i talked and cried. it was good to cry, to let some of the pain out, and so good to have him there to hold me. despite knowing that there's so much more pain to come, today, i'm hoping that all my interactions with my grandfather won't be followed by brokenness.
yesterday, they drove here with three of their friends, met up with a friend of one of the friends, and i went to the cheesecake factory with the whole bunch.
on the up side, it was really good to see them and get a chunk of good social time with them.
i'm not quite sure what to think of this, but i really enjoy spending time with my grandparents in social situations, but being around just them, together or separately, tends to wear me thin in short periods of time.
on the downside, it left me totally broken.
when i was leaving, my grandfather made a point of walking me to my car. with one set of looks, we managed to communicate that i know about the diagnosis - and that look from him still haunts me. when we were saying goodbye, he told me to come to him if i need help. and trying to balance that with the knowledge that, in a few years, he might not recognize me is very painful.
instead of going to singularity,
sol3 came over and held me while i talked and cried. it was good to cry, to let some of the pain out, and so good to have him there to hold me. despite knowing that there's so much more pain to come, today, i'm hoping that all my interactions with my grandfather won't be followed by brokenness.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 02:19 pm (UTC)i know...
i just told my grandmother my entire love story.
and it hurts like hell to know that she won't remember it in a month... when she meets him, it may even be too late... and in a year...
sigh.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 02:53 pm (UTC)unspoken communication is often the hardest, and the most .. moving. this works for both good things, and not-so-good things..
*hug*
no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 03:04 pm (UTC)Sometimes, depending on the kind of person you are emotionally, it becomes easy surprisingly quickly. Aaand then you start wondering if you are callous, unloving, whatever.
If that happens, just keep in mind: you aren't unloving. Just capable of being philosophical, or else protecting yourself a bit, or both.
Sympathy, again and again.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-13 06:10 pm (UTC)