sometimes love sucks
Dec. 5th, 2000 04:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolllike when you wake up at 3am, and your love is snoring too loud to fall back asleep...
for a while, its just noise... i try to tune it out, and sometimes spent some time before sleeping and waking... but then, slowly but surely, that noise gets singled out & pinned as an irritant - and becomes nearly impossible to tune out as it gets to be more and more personally grating.
so i just got up.
my throat hurts like hell, there's noone still up online & i'm just bored.
makes me wish there was a couch in here already - its definately one of those nights.
little poll: the end justifies the means.
agree? disagree?
i used to disagree. i used to ground that by saying that the means will always taint the end, thus negative means could never lead to a positive end.
today, bill took the easy way out of a situation, that put me in a more negative light then is fair. when i found out about it, i instinctively raised my eyebrows at him, and he came back with 'but it solved the problem...'
and i realized that he was right. that the problem was solved, and because of that, i wasn't pissed at him for what he did.
of course it left me rather open for other problems, but i'm choosing to think they're nothing compared to the original one.
damnit. i had another scenraio in mind, too, when i started this, but can't remember it now.
c'est la vie - i'll prolly add it in if i remember it later...
but i am rather curious where people stand with this one.
and damnit, my health is just reallly fucked up.
i have had a sore throat for weeks now, and it stays more or less as a come and go kind of thing, only its getting more and more painful...
i've been drinking tea like crazy to soften it up, and should really invest in some honey.
but its like i lfeel the pain, try to get myself ready to maybe go to the emergency room to check if its strep - and then it subsides, so i forget about that (frightening) notion (something about hating emergency rooms) and move with life.
and then it comes back.
also, since childhood, i've been pretty sensitive to my body temperature. i have never needed a thermometer to tell me that my temperature was off - i just feel this certain kind of funk, and know its off. only once in a while, i can't tell if its too low or too high (my body goes in both directions when i'm not feeling well)
well, last friday night it was without a question in a funk. and i felt like total shit.
saturday morning - fine. nose more congested then usual when i woke up (congested nose is one of those things i can't escape wintertime mornings), but fine other then that.
was more or less ok through the weekend, and then this morning - big funk again. didn't do anything productive till like 2:30pm. but at that time - burst of energy, yulia feels better, all is good.
last till like 9pm, when i felt sick again - only it was pretty mild and only lasted like an hour.
*sigh*
i just don't get it.
my mom's theory is that i'm not absorbing edible vitamins again & shoudl start using the spray vitamins more often - which i'm willing to try - but i've only had those for a year now, and according to the dr. that gave them to me, i haven't been properly absorbing vitamins in ages. it actually feels more like when i used to get sick in russia. i would keep a steady 100.1 or 100.2 for weeks on end (sometimes lasting into months) and back there, even that temperature was taken seriosuly and i wouldn't be allowed out of the house. hence i barely went to school duiing the colder months of the school year (which means like most of them). heehee - in america, they would've kept me behind for that...
but when i got to america, that kind of thing stopped.
i don't actually remember enough of if my mom would just be less hesitant about sending me to school - but i am pretty sure that i just wasn't sick that much.
odd.
damnit i wish there was a couch in here : /
for a while, its just noise... i try to tune it out, and sometimes spent some time before sleeping and waking... but then, slowly but surely, that noise gets singled out & pinned as an irritant - and becomes nearly impossible to tune out as it gets to be more and more personally grating.
so i just got up.
my throat hurts like hell, there's noone still up online & i'm just bored.
makes me wish there was a couch in here already - its definately one of those nights.
little poll: the end justifies the means.
agree? disagree?
i used to disagree. i used to ground that by saying that the means will always taint the end, thus negative means could never lead to a positive end.
today, bill took the easy way out of a situation, that put me in a more negative light then is fair. when i found out about it, i instinctively raised my eyebrows at him, and he came back with 'but it solved the problem...'
and i realized that he was right. that the problem was solved, and because of that, i wasn't pissed at him for what he did.
of course it left me rather open for other problems, but i'm choosing to think they're nothing compared to the original one.
damnit. i had another scenraio in mind, too, when i started this, but can't remember it now.
c'est la vie - i'll prolly add it in if i remember it later...
but i am rather curious where people stand with this one.
and damnit, my health is just reallly fucked up.
i have had a sore throat for weeks now, and it stays more or less as a come and go kind of thing, only its getting more and more painful...
i've been drinking tea like crazy to soften it up, and should really invest in some honey.
but its like i lfeel the pain, try to get myself ready to maybe go to the emergency room to check if its strep - and then it subsides, so i forget about that (frightening) notion (something about hating emergency rooms) and move with life.
and then it comes back.
also, since childhood, i've been pretty sensitive to my body temperature. i have never needed a thermometer to tell me that my temperature was off - i just feel this certain kind of funk, and know its off. only once in a while, i can't tell if its too low or too high (my body goes in both directions when i'm not feeling well)
well, last friday night it was without a question in a funk. and i felt like total shit.
saturday morning - fine. nose more congested then usual when i woke up (congested nose is one of those things i can't escape wintertime mornings), but fine other then that.
was more or less ok through the weekend, and then this morning - big funk again. didn't do anything productive till like 2:30pm. but at that time - burst of energy, yulia feels better, all is good.
last till like 9pm, when i felt sick again - only it was pretty mild and only lasted like an hour.
*sigh*
i just don't get it.
my mom's theory is that i'm not absorbing edible vitamins again & shoudl start using the spray vitamins more often - which i'm willing to try - but i've only had those for a year now, and according to the dr. that gave them to me, i haven't been properly absorbing vitamins in ages. it actually feels more like when i used to get sick in russia. i would keep a steady 100.1 or 100.2 for weeks on end (sometimes lasting into months) and back there, even that temperature was taken seriosuly and i wouldn't be allowed out of the house. hence i barely went to school duiing the colder months of the school year (which means like most of them). heehee - in america, they would've kept me behind for that...
but when i got to america, that kind of thing stopped.
i don't actually remember enough of if my mom would just be less hesitant about sending me to school - but i am pretty sure that i just wasn't sick that much.
odd.
damnit i wish there was a couch in here : /
