mew on my list of things that suck -

[elvendoll]

• waking up int he middle of the night to a pretty bad anxiety attack.

i this is like the worst one i've had in a couple of years... and it hink part of its severity must be because it probably started within a dream, as i woke up into full-swing anxiety, but have no clue where it came from. only clue my semi-coherent mind would give me is that its work related... only its probably (i'm hoping) not even reality-based.
i layed there in bed for like 20 minutes, semi-coherent, trying to calm myself down... telling myself to breathe slow, to relax, that everything is okay. that didn't work.
tried turning around on the bed, telling myself that once i'm turned around (like head at foot of bed) things will be different, and it will pass. nope.
got up, went to the bathroom (where the cat was for some odd reason - and to top it off, she started purring and rubbing herself against my leg - the first isn't out of character but the second definitely is, as i've never seen her do that before), and am now sitting hre sipping water. its not here right now, but i can feel it lurking in the middle of my stomach, and am scared that once i go back into the bedroom it will be in full swing again. *sigh*
and the couch in here is definitely way too messy to sleep on : /
and i just can't help being amazed at how odd this is. i've had disturbing dreams, where i wake up & start crying - had one last week. i've had hurtful dreams, where someone in a dream hurts me, and i wake up feeling hurt & alieanated from that person... and i've had frustrating dreams where someone is doing something that pisses me off within a dream, and when i wake up, i'm already at the end of my rope. but never anxiety before. and usualy in the dreams that keep affecting me into wakeness, i can at least remember what they were... but not this time.

*some staring at the screen passses*

*sigh*
i guess i should just try going back to bed & see what happens...
gads i hate my body sometimes!