(no subject)

[elvendoll]

i am feeling antsy/lonely and antisocial all at the same time.
i know exactly whats bugging me, but i can't begin fixing it till tomorrow *sigh*

i also need to figure out what/how i am doing next month. there's so much that i have pseudo or halfway planned... and so much of it costs money *sigh*

i haven't deposited my last check yet, partially out of laziness and partially out of thinking that will keep me from spending money i shouldn't, when in reality i've just been lame this week and that's why i've barely spent money. and not lame in a good way, either.
bottom line is that i've been procrastinating figuring out the house bills, and i am scared of them. *sigh* and yes, i know that's stupid, and i'll prolly sit down with them by next week at the latest.
(this is the part where talking to yourself sorta becomes helpful)
i guess i feel like i've bitten off more then i can chew. i am not used to counting pennies, watching how much i spend, etc.i've always been careful with money, so i've always had enough for whatever i wanted... and up until recently, my parents were willing to help me out with anything reasonable - which is not to say i took money from them a lot, but i felt safe knowing it was there.
and now its not... and my rent's gone up, and i have car payments, and there is so much i want that i just can't have. for the very first time. and a part of me resents it, too.
its funny - i guess in theory this should be a rite of passage... but it doesn't feel like one.

and my throat hurts for some reason.
that's just really not good : /

i kinda wanna go for a walk, and kinda wanna curl up in my blankets.

Comments

[xevb3k.livejournal.com]

Now you know how I feel 90% of the time. I hate not having money. It makes me really depressed and anxious.