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elvendollso i think i am closer to realizing just why the aforementioned portion of narcissus and goldmund is bugging me
basically, goldmund sees wandering and 'learning about women' as his calling.. he decides to stay with the knight to pass the winter, but the logic-aspect of that decision is not mentioned afterwards. what is mentioned is how he feels that he is wasting his time because lydia won't have sex with him - how he resents her for it, but feels a "love" for her that keeps him in the situation. and he knows his trying to seduce julie hurts lydia, but accepts that as coming from resenting the fact that he's not getting any.
and that bothers me on two levels - first, he knows was his "calling" is, but stays at the castle because of his feeling for lydia - i think, in theory, if his "love" was what i think/feel falling in love is, that would be ok by me - but, as far as this book goes, "love" is barely much deeper then lust or the connection achieved through sex - and i see goldmund staying at the castle as not being true to himself. next - goldmund consciously does something to hurt lydia - and he is supposed to be innocent - but i don't think its plausible for him to still be considered innocent after doing that.
and i don't really see how all this leads to him becoming a man...
on another note, my mood is getting a little better - scuba agreeing to go out for sushi with me definitely helped : )
and qotd (from scuba) - evil and effective are not synonymous!
and there was more i wanted to write about, but i got distracted & should prolly go to get dressed now...
basically, goldmund sees wandering and 'learning about women' as his calling.. he decides to stay with the knight to pass the winter, but the logic-aspect of that decision is not mentioned afterwards. what is mentioned is how he feels that he is wasting his time because lydia won't have sex with him - how he resents her for it, but feels a "love" for her that keeps him in the situation. and he knows his trying to seduce julie hurts lydia, but accepts that as coming from resenting the fact that he's not getting any.
and that bothers me on two levels - first, he knows was his "calling" is, but stays at the castle because of his feeling for lydia - i think, in theory, if his "love" was what i think/feel falling in love is, that would be ok by me - but, as far as this book goes, "love" is barely much deeper then lust or the connection achieved through sex - and i see goldmund staying at the castle as not being true to himself. next - goldmund consciously does something to hurt lydia - and he is supposed to be innocent - but i don't think its plausible for him to still be considered innocent after doing that.
and i don't really see how all this leads to him becoming a man...
on another note, my mood is getting a little better - scuba agreeing to go out for sushi with me definitely helped : )
and qotd (from scuba) - evil and effective are not synonymous!
and there was more i wanted to write about, but i got distracted & should prolly go to get dressed now...
