...another morning...
Sep. 26th, 2000 08:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolland again i woke up from having a bad dream : (
i don't know why my head is doing this to me... its like i was almost afraid to fall asleep last night because i was scared of waking up after having one...
and i guess the biggest problem is not the dreams itself, its the way they affect my waking state - it usually takes at least 5 seconds or so for me to even realize that what was going on in the dream isn't real, and much longer then that to shake the emotional effects the events of the dream cause.
and lately they've all been getting hurt dreams... because i don't have nightmares (like when some monster chases you or something), i just have realistic dreams in which bad things happen - and those can range from frustration to physical pain, anger or hurt... bu lately they've mostly been hurt, with a tinge of anger... and then i wake up and i feel like such a loser because i can't deal with life, cuz all i want to do is cuddle up under the blankets and feel sorry for myself. either that, or i get this urge to go back to sleep in the hopes that i'll have a good dream and wake up feeling better.
heh... even no dreams would be more then fine by me!
*sigh*
but, it is another day now...
i am glad i called my mom this morning... she told me there's a chance that i may end up coming back here with a 95 toyota corolla after my visit there next weekend, and just the thought of that makes me feel better...
the car has too much mileage on it, and no power windows, but its in really good condition : )
...it just means that i'll just have to bite my lip and get myself one of those fast lane things...
...and now i am considering going to school early, as i think sitting in the wit's end i'll be more likely to do homework then here...
i don't know why my head is doing this to me... its like i was almost afraid to fall asleep last night because i was scared of waking up after having one...
and i guess the biggest problem is not the dreams itself, its the way they affect my waking state - it usually takes at least 5 seconds or so for me to even realize that what was going on in the dream isn't real, and much longer then that to shake the emotional effects the events of the dream cause.
and lately they've all been getting hurt dreams... because i don't have nightmares (like when some monster chases you or something), i just have realistic dreams in which bad things happen - and those can range from frustration to physical pain, anger or hurt... bu lately they've mostly been hurt, with a tinge of anger... and then i wake up and i feel like such a loser because i can't deal with life, cuz all i want to do is cuddle up under the blankets and feel sorry for myself. either that, or i get this urge to go back to sleep in the hopes that i'll have a good dream and wake up feeling better.
heh... even no dreams would be more then fine by me!
*sigh*
but, it is another day now...
i am glad i called my mom this morning... she told me there's a chance that i may end up coming back here with a 95 toyota corolla after my visit there next weekend, and just the thought of that makes me feel better...
the car has too much mileage on it, and no power windows, but its in really good condition : )
...it just means that i'll just have to bite my lip and get myself one of those fast lane things...
...and now i am considering going to school early, as i think sitting in the wit's end i'll be more likely to do homework then here...
