i should be showering...
Sep. 28th, 2000 12:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendoll...but i decided to write instead.
another weird dream tonight.. well, actually this morning, as i had it after bill left for work.
i'm in school (only the campus is warped somehow) and i have 2 classes (i think both of them were english classes) - and for some reason, one of my classes meets at a time that is actually within the timeslot of the first class - even though even in the dream, thats not supposed to happen (like registration for conflicting classes never goes through).
and the background is also that i'm supposed to go meet bill right after class, as he was taking off of work early to spend time with me, and, for some reason (as i don't usually wear purses) i have my little carry-case purse with me, with my car key (separated from my house keys for some reason) and my wallet in it.
so i sit in class #1 until its time to go to class #2.
sit through class #2, and then realize that i forgot the purse in lass #1, and get there just as class is getting out. i grab the purse, apologize to me teacher about the conflict and am about to take off when some lady comes in, says she's from the registrar's office, and tells me i can't keep both the classes. and when i tell her that i really need them both, she thinks for a minute, and says that if i keep them both, i can't get anything higher then a B in the class i'm missing a part of.
dilemma time - i need both classes, but, a B would ruin my chances of graduating with departmental honors (which would be true in real life) - but as i am running late, i tell them that i need to think it over, and haul ass to the parking garage.
now, while allt his is going on, there's this girl (vanessa, from my summer school classes, actually) has been rifling through the room.
and when i get to the parking garage i realize that while she was doing that, she picked up my purse, and left me hers. which leaves me without a car key.
so i'm running to the garage, thinking maybe by some chance i can catch her in line to pay the fees... meanwhile thinking how horrible it is that i'm running so late to meet bill.
on my way, i run into this kid jay (also from summer classes, and who i've seen around campus this semester), and ask him if he's seen vanessa.
he tells me he has, but is hesitant about telling me where.
then it turns out to be some place i can't get to for some reason... and then he asks if there is any way she could look through the stuff in my purse (given that she realizes we've traded) and try to contact me through info she finds there.
so i realize the house phone number is on my driver's license (at least int he dream...) and call home.
and the phone gets picked up by yana, who is my stepdad's sister, and who IRL lives in NJ..
no calls...
and then the phone rings IRL and its my mom calling.
odd, eh?
and i can tell where someof the parts came from...
there was a girl i thought looked like vanessa at manray last night, i was talking to sharon about how i keep buying purses in hope of actually using one, the car key being separated from my house keys is what i do when i am going clubbing, and last night billporn was playing pocketwhore for a bit and almost left forgetting to give it back... and i've been debating dropping my classes (*ducks*), and while woken up by bill's alarm clock i was thinking about how i don't do enough for that boy (he has been absolutely wonderfully patient, sympathetic and helpful the past couple of weeks - i've been just melting in the moments i slip out of my horrid moods.. unfortunately during them i tend to give him way too much shit and demands :( ), being somehow separated from my car has become almost a constant in my dreams, yana i'd been thinking about lately cuz of family situations, and jay is the only person other then vanessa that i've seen on campus this semester.
i just don't understand why my head has to come up with really disturbing situations as a way of piecing the puzzle together..
*grumble*
and yeah, i ended up going to manray last night...
after crying for the first time in like forever (i very rarely cry at all - if its not triggered by a book or a movie, tears from me is a pretty bad thing0 i decided that i can't put myself or bill through this any longer, followed my mom's advice and took some st. john's wort...
and by 9pm i was feeling all better : )
other then how disturbing i find it that a couple of pills can make that much of a change in me, i was really glad that everything started looking ok again, and decided to go out.
and i actually had an okay time...
just like last week, it was me without my safeties, but i think i handled it a lot better this time...
and i also danced more : ) (or, err... what i call dancing, as i totally lack most things needed for the actual thing : P )
...and then afterwards went out to HiFi with helena again. i really need to learn my lesson and bring more money with me. now enough to pay her back, too!
so yeah, i am now back on (herbal) meds.
my biggest problem is that i forget to take pills, and i really need to grab ahold of myself and make sure i keep with this schedule...
and like rae said, make little goals...
i actually started on that yesterday... and almost succeeded - i made pasta with (canned) veggies, but didn't get to folding the towels...
now i just gotta get the homework thing down though!
especially as i have a test next wednesday...
well, time to go get ready for class : )
another weird dream tonight.. well, actually this morning, as i had it after bill left for work.
i'm in school (only the campus is warped somehow) and i have 2 classes (i think both of them were english classes) - and for some reason, one of my classes meets at a time that is actually within the timeslot of the first class - even though even in the dream, thats not supposed to happen (like registration for conflicting classes never goes through).
and the background is also that i'm supposed to go meet bill right after class, as he was taking off of work early to spend time with me, and, for some reason (as i don't usually wear purses) i have my little carry-case purse with me, with my car key (separated from my house keys for some reason) and my wallet in it.
so i sit in class #1 until its time to go to class #2.
sit through class #2, and then realize that i forgot the purse in lass #1, and get there just as class is getting out. i grab the purse, apologize to me teacher about the conflict and am about to take off when some lady comes in, says she's from the registrar's office, and tells me i can't keep both the classes. and when i tell her that i really need them both, she thinks for a minute, and says that if i keep them both, i can't get anything higher then a B in the class i'm missing a part of.
dilemma time - i need both classes, but, a B would ruin my chances of graduating with departmental honors (which would be true in real life) - but as i am running late, i tell them that i need to think it over, and haul ass to the parking garage.
now, while allt his is going on, there's this girl (vanessa, from my summer school classes, actually) has been rifling through the room.
and when i get to the parking garage i realize that while she was doing that, she picked up my purse, and left me hers. which leaves me without a car key.
so i'm running to the garage, thinking maybe by some chance i can catch her in line to pay the fees... meanwhile thinking how horrible it is that i'm running so late to meet bill.
on my way, i run into this kid jay (also from summer classes, and who i've seen around campus this semester), and ask him if he's seen vanessa.
he tells me he has, but is hesitant about telling me where.
then it turns out to be some place i can't get to for some reason... and then he asks if there is any way she could look through the stuff in my purse (given that she realizes we've traded) and try to contact me through info she finds there.
so i realize the house phone number is on my driver's license (at least int he dream...) and call home.
and the phone gets picked up by yana, who is my stepdad's sister, and who IRL lives in NJ..
no calls...
and then the phone rings IRL and its my mom calling.
odd, eh?
and i can tell where someof the parts came from...
there was a girl i thought looked like vanessa at manray last night, i was talking to sharon about how i keep buying purses in hope of actually using one, the car key being separated from my house keys is what i do when i am going clubbing, and last night billporn was playing pocketwhore for a bit and almost left forgetting to give it back... and i've been debating dropping my classes (*ducks*), and while woken up by bill's alarm clock i was thinking about how i don't do enough for that boy (he has been absolutely wonderfully patient, sympathetic and helpful the past couple of weeks - i've been just melting in the moments i slip out of my horrid moods.. unfortunately during them i tend to give him way too much shit and demands :( ), being somehow separated from my car has become almost a constant in my dreams, yana i'd been thinking about lately cuz of family situations, and jay is the only person other then vanessa that i've seen on campus this semester.
i just don't understand why my head has to come up with really disturbing situations as a way of piecing the puzzle together..
*grumble*
and yeah, i ended up going to manray last night...
after crying for the first time in like forever (i very rarely cry at all - if its not triggered by a book or a movie, tears from me is a pretty bad thing0 i decided that i can't put myself or bill through this any longer, followed my mom's advice and took some st. john's wort...
and by 9pm i was feeling all better : )
other then how disturbing i find it that a couple of pills can make that much of a change in me, i was really glad that everything started looking ok again, and decided to go out.
and i actually had an okay time...
just like last week, it was me without my safeties, but i think i handled it a lot better this time...
and i also danced more : ) (or, err... what i call dancing, as i totally lack most things needed for the actual thing : P )
...and then afterwards went out to HiFi with helena again. i really need to learn my lesson and bring more money with me. now enough to pay her back, too!
so yeah, i am now back on (herbal) meds.
my biggest problem is that i forget to take pills, and i really need to grab ahold of myself and make sure i keep with this schedule...
and like rae said, make little goals...
i actually started on that yesterday... and almost succeeded - i made pasta with (canned) veggies, but didn't get to folding the towels...
now i just gotta get the homework thing down though!
especially as i have a test next wednesday...
well, time to go get ready for class : )
