(no subject)
May. 30th, 2002 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollso i suck.
i'm bailing on the nantasket trip...
in theory, i really want to do it. i love being there. but the prospect of spending an hour driving there to then drive an hour back is more then can sit well with me now.
i'm just feeling very emotionally raw & wasted. and i don't know whether thats because i haven't had very much downtime over the past couple of weeks or other stuff, but i'm just not dealing right now.
in theory, i should shower before going to bed, so i can have a few more precious moments of sleep in the morning. in theory, i feel like i'm giving into something bad if i just crawl under the blankets now. but in pratice, i don't know if i can resist.
i so wish i still had my alegria cd... its such comfort music for me... gotta concentrate on happy thoughts like images from this weekend, like how i felt just being in montreal, like how abi asked my mom when i will come to visit...
yeah...
not nervousness abou the class, not nervousness about making kira and ryan's time here fun enough, not feeling so shitty about being so tired & out of it all the time, not stressing over the uncertainty of the next 3 weekends.
*roar*
can't i click my heels three times and end up in montreal or beltane weekend??
*deep breaths*
i wish knowing that i'm a neurotic mess would keep me from falling into neurotic-mess-holes... and i really wish i had had enough wits about me to buy a fucking notebook for my class, as i could write my first entry now and feel a bit better having had accomplished something.
i'm bailing on the nantasket trip...
in theory, i really want to do it. i love being there. but the prospect of spending an hour driving there to then drive an hour back is more then can sit well with me now.
i'm just feeling very emotionally raw & wasted. and i don't know whether thats because i haven't had very much downtime over the past couple of weeks or other stuff, but i'm just not dealing right now.
in theory, i should shower before going to bed, so i can have a few more precious moments of sleep in the morning. in theory, i feel like i'm giving into something bad if i just crawl under the blankets now. but in pratice, i don't know if i can resist.
i so wish i still had my alegria cd... its such comfort music for me... gotta concentrate on happy thoughts like images from this weekend, like how i felt just being in montreal, like how abi asked my mom when i will come to visit...
yeah...
not nervousness abou the class, not nervousness about making kira and ryan's time here fun enough, not feeling so shitty about being so tired & out of it all the time, not stressing over the uncertainty of the next 3 weekends.
*roar*
can't i click my heels three times and end up in montreal or beltane weekend??
*deep breaths*
i wish knowing that i'm a neurotic mess would keep me from falling into neurotic-mess-holes... and i really wish i had had enough wits about me to buy a fucking notebook for my class, as i could write my first entry now and feel a bit better having had accomplished something.
