one day at a time?
Jan. 8th, 2003 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolltoday, i'm not as groggy as i was yesterday, but i'm definitely feeling drained.
as far as how i'm doing emotionally, i don't mind being groggy too much - its like a layer of warm fuzz between me and the rest of the world. but, its also fuzz that prevents me from functioning as i should.
yesterday's class was decent. i came in with a cup of coffee and a blueberry scone (dinner?) and i think i heard about 85% of the lecture. i don't know how i feel about school driving me back to coffee, but i do think remembering to bring water as well as coffee should prevent me from dozing off again. ever since i started sleeping in school in HS, the little desk-chair combos are like sedatives to me : /
for the movie, we watched nanook of the north, which wasn't as striking as yesterday's film, but still interesting.
by the time i got home, though, i felt like crap.
it took me over an hour to decompress enough and pull myself out of a rather crappy/frazzled mood. i didn't manage to eat anything, but i did pull myself together enough to set up the laptop in the living room and do the writing assignment while the TV was on. it was really really nice to type out homework while keeping sanity through tv-distraction : )
amusingly enough, i got in around 9... around 10, i went downstairs to let the cat out (after snapping at her for meowing at me a few times) and a bit past 1am, i went back downstairs to let the cat in for the night. coming back, at 1am, i realized my keys are still in the apartment-door lock.
i'm not quite sure why feeding myself is the first ability i lose when under stress, but i'm going to try and be better - i think getting takeout of soup from a chinese or indian place on the way home should do me good - having a big meal isn't a good idea for 9pm, but soups should have right stuff and the least amount of bad stuff.
if i was smart, i would've had my grandma make me soup i could freeze and reheat, but its too late because now i won't see her until the class is over anyways.
i wish i liked canned soups more, but i just don't : (
overall, i like the fact that i still succeeded in forcing myself to do the writing assignment. i know that even a year ago, i probably wouldn't have succeeded in pulling myself out of the mood i'd gotten home in... especially not on my own.
something i'm rather annoyed by:
when i first started at the school, whenever the teachers had handouts to give us, they'd xerox them at the department office, sometimes as for 10 cents a page, and give us handouts whenever.
then, the school became anal and all copies had to be made through the copy office, into one packet a student can purchase at the beginning of a semester - and, at over 50 cents a page. noone was happy with this.
so, now, to avoid the high prices of paying for copyrights, the school encourages professors to scan necessary pages, which are then posted on the library site. wtf?
i just don't understand how scanning and posting something is less of a copyright violation then xeroxing, can't imagine it using up less resources and am really annoyed by having to read scanned pages. my eyes are bad enough where, when there's a bunch of reading to do and no other books for the class, i'd rather shell for a printed packet then squint for hours on end.
moreover, the library site was down last night. a part of me is relieved - its a good excuse to have put off the reading, but if its a pattern, it will be a problem.
today's highlight is having lunch with her. after yesterdays lunch with them, i think it a good lunch-week so far : )
oh.. and i forgot to mention this yesterday - i had my tarot read on Monday night, for the first time ever. the reading nailed a lot of whats been going in my head smack on the head - and i've had a pretty positive outlook about it all. and then, i was told something along the lines of 'yeah, so it looks like there isn't much you can do but ride this out', which kinda took me for a spin, because i'm not minding this too much. i'm in for a ride, but i'd like to think i picked the direction and am still holding the steering wheel, damnit.
and its weird adjusting to not having nearly enough time. well, time an money, too. i'm getting a craving to do some shopping, but i can't imagine when i could, which is a good thing because of what my credit card bills will look like this month.
i also found myself unable to fall asleep, even when crawling into bed a half hour past my bedtime - i think my body is used to taking 2-4 hours to get into "evening" mode after i get home, and then enjoying my evening for a bit. now, 2-4 hours is all the evening i get.
and speaking of time, on top of "i only have X days of class left", something else that i'm keeping focus on about the class is that i will need to do one of the big projects this coming weekend, and the other next weekend - which means the last week of class won't be more loaded then the others - there isn't going to be any "right at the end of classes" stress. yay.
as far as how i'm doing emotionally, i don't mind being groggy too much - its like a layer of warm fuzz between me and the rest of the world. but, its also fuzz that prevents me from functioning as i should.
yesterday's class was decent. i came in with a cup of coffee and a blueberry scone (dinner?) and i think i heard about 85% of the lecture. i don't know how i feel about school driving me back to coffee, but i do think remembering to bring water as well as coffee should prevent me from dozing off again. ever since i started sleeping in school in HS, the little desk-chair combos are like sedatives to me : /
for the movie, we watched nanook of the north, which wasn't as striking as yesterday's film, but still interesting.
by the time i got home, though, i felt like crap.
it took me over an hour to decompress enough and pull myself out of a rather crappy/frazzled mood. i didn't manage to eat anything, but i did pull myself together enough to set up the laptop in the living room and do the writing assignment while the TV was on. it was really really nice to type out homework while keeping sanity through tv-distraction : )
amusingly enough, i got in around 9... around 10, i went downstairs to let the cat out (after snapping at her for meowing at me a few times) and a bit past 1am, i went back downstairs to let the cat in for the night. coming back, at 1am, i realized my keys are still in the apartment-door lock.
i'm not quite sure why feeding myself is the first ability i lose when under stress, but i'm going to try and be better - i think getting takeout of soup from a chinese or indian place on the way home should do me good - having a big meal isn't a good idea for 9pm, but soups should have right stuff and the least amount of bad stuff.
if i was smart, i would've had my grandma make me soup i could freeze and reheat, but its too late because now i won't see her until the class is over anyways.
i wish i liked canned soups more, but i just don't : (
overall, i like the fact that i still succeeded in forcing myself to do the writing assignment. i know that even a year ago, i probably wouldn't have succeeded in pulling myself out of the mood i'd gotten home in... especially not on my own.
something i'm rather annoyed by:
when i first started at the school, whenever the teachers had handouts to give us, they'd xerox them at the department office, sometimes as for 10 cents a page, and give us handouts whenever.
then, the school became anal and all copies had to be made through the copy office, into one packet a student can purchase at the beginning of a semester - and, at over 50 cents a page. noone was happy with this.
so, now, to avoid the high prices of paying for copyrights, the school encourages professors to scan necessary pages, which are then posted on the library site. wtf?
i just don't understand how scanning and posting something is less of a copyright violation then xeroxing, can't imagine it using up less resources and am really annoyed by having to read scanned pages. my eyes are bad enough where, when there's a bunch of reading to do and no other books for the class, i'd rather shell for a printed packet then squint for hours on end.
moreover, the library site was down last night. a part of me is relieved - its a good excuse to have put off the reading, but if its a pattern, it will be a problem.
today's highlight is having lunch with her. after yesterdays lunch with them, i think it a good lunch-week so far : )
oh.. and i forgot to mention this yesterday - i had my tarot read on Monday night, for the first time ever. the reading nailed a lot of whats been going in my head smack on the head - and i've had a pretty positive outlook about it all. and then, i was told something along the lines of 'yeah, so it looks like there isn't much you can do but ride this out', which kinda took me for a spin, because i'm not minding this too much. i'm in for a ride, but i'd like to think i picked the direction and am still holding the steering wheel, damnit.
and its weird adjusting to not having nearly enough time. well, time an money, too. i'm getting a craving to do some shopping, but i can't imagine when i could, which is a good thing because of what my credit card bills will look like this month.
i also found myself unable to fall asleep, even when crawling into bed a half hour past my bedtime - i think my body is used to taking 2-4 hours to get into "evening" mode after i get home, and then enjoying my evening for a bit. now, 2-4 hours is all the evening i get.
and speaking of time, on top of "i only have X days of class left", something else that i'm keeping focus on about the class is that i will need to do one of the big projects this coming weekend, and the other next weekend - which means the last week of class won't be more loaded then the others - there isn't going to be any "right at the end of classes" stress. yay.
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Silly
Date: 2003-01-08 12:57 pm (UTC)I got a shitload of clothes !!!! Mostly velvet too. thanks for coming to lunch.
Kate