little muscles and other things
May. 19th, 2003 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolli think of internal impulses as being little muscles inside of me. they're tiny and all bundled up together... but if i concentrate long enough, i can pinpoint a particular one.
after i find it once, it becomes easier to find it again, and with time, being able to center on it lets me learn how to flex it and begin to control it.
i see my impatience as one such muscle, and i've just flexed it for the first time.
i used to be an extremely impatient person, and i've been fighting that for a long time. and while some aspects of it have gotten better, one aspect that had persisted is that when i feel the need to talk to someone about an issue, its feels/felt incredibly urgent and i could rarely move on until the talk happened. i'd gotten a bit better about waiting for an appropriate time a couple of years ago, but until the appropriate time came up, i wouldn't be able to shift my focus from the issue, wouldn't be able to stop playing mental soundtracks of how the conversation might go.
there's a talk that i need to have, but i have a paper due on Thursday. moreover, its a 10 page paper that i don't even have a topic for yet, so i can't make time for a talk before this weekend, and i'm hoping to spend the weekend out of town. and just now, i flexed something, and the urgency went away. i'm really hoping this is real and won't go away.
i'm feeling very pressed for time.
i don't have enough time to write this paper. or, i have time to write the paper, i don't have time to pick a topic / do the research. i'm trying hard not to panic.
on top of that, sometime during off or lunch time, i need to go to school to switch classes, run across town to make next-weekend arrangements and eat. and i'd like to have lunch with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
maudlinkitty, too.
this weekend, on the other hand, was fairly good.
Friday night included a sushi dinner withsol3, great cuddles and snuggles while watching anniversary party (which, for some reason, is in the comedy section at blockbuster), and then a stopover to a nifty party.
Saturday included sleeping in, brunch, and housecleaning. a fun gettogether after that, even if i was way more tense then i'd choose to be, and yesterday was a good lazy-ing about day. i can't express how much i'm looking forward to living through this week and then enjoying 7 weeks without classes.
after i find it once, it becomes easier to find it again, and with time, being able to center on it lets me learn how to flex it and begin to control it.
i see my impatience as one such muscle, and i've just flexed it for the first time.
i used to be an extremely impatient person, and i've been fighting that for a long time. and while some aspects of it have gotten better, one aspect that had persisted is that when i feel the need to talk to someone about an issue, its feels/felt incredibly urgent and i could rarely move on until the talk happened. i'd gotten a bit better about waiting for an appropriate time a couple of years ago, but until the appropriate time came up, i wouldn't be able to shift my focus from the issue, wouldn't be able to stop playing mental soundtracks of how the conversation might go.
there's a talk that i need to have, but i have a paper due on Thursday. moreover, its a 10 page paper that i don't even have a topic for yet, so i can't make time for a talk before this weekend, and i'm hoping to spend the weekend out of town. and just now, i flexed something, and the urgency went away. i'm really hoping this is real and won't go away.
i'm feeling very pressed for time.
i don't have enough time to write this paper. or, i have time to write the paper, i don't have time to pick a topic / do the research. i'm trying hard not to panic.
on top of that, sometime during off or lunch time, i need to go to school to switch classes, run across town to make next-weekend arrangements and eat. and i'd like to have lunch with
maudlinkitty, too.this weekend, on the other hand, was fairly good.
Friday night included a sushi dinner with
sol3, great cuddles and snuggles while watching anniversary party (which, for some reason, is in the comedy section at blockbuster), and then a stopover to a nifty party.Saturday included sleeping in, brunch, and housecleaning. a fun gettogether after that, even if i was way more tense then i'd choose to be, and yesterday was a good lazy-ing about day. i can't express how much i'm looking forward to living through this week and then enjoying 7 weeks without classes.
