(no subject)
Sep. 22nd, 2003 01:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollso the SAD is really kicking in.
i was miserable and cranky for a good part of last night, and woke up feeling the same way after a third or fourth night of lousy sleep. i really need to buy 5htp and try taking it regularly, and what wouldn't i pay to be able to fall asleep, wake up, and actually feel awake and rested.
overall, though, i had a decent weekend of ups and downs.
Friday night was interesting. my mom didn't warn any of the grandparents about my hair, and their reactions were less then supportive - 3 out of 5 even told me i "need" to cut my hair short, which makes me need to fight to retain the desire to actually do it.
my great-aunt is getting worse. i feel guilty for still disliking her, but i just can't get past the shit she put me through when she lived with my family. now, there's a special twist to her neurosis. there were a couple of months, right before i moved to boston, when she'd already moved to morristown and i was working within a mile from her apartment. sometimes, she'd babysit debbie there, and i'd go to pick up debbie on my way home from work - in which cases, the two of them would wait over on the landing for when i drove up. she seems to have modified this memory, and claims that i used to come over to see her during my lunch break. so, each time she sees me, which has been once every two months or so, she first rants about how she hasn't seen me in "a hundred years" and how she'd like to see more of me. then she makes a comment about how i 'used to' 'come visit her'... and then, at some point in the night, she'll tell this one story, of when i, at the age of 6, told her in a tone of admiration that my stepdad 'knows everything' - which, on top of being repeated incessantly, grates on me because my stepdad went through a big personality change when i was 10 or so, and since then, we've struggled to get along.
but, seeing the other grandparents was good and i'm old enough to value the time i get with them.
and after they left, my mom, debbie and i spent some time hanging out and then i did a bit of homework reading before passing out.
Saturday, i woke up around 11, had breakfast, snuck some time online and dug into homework. as of right now, i have 70 pages of the good soldier to finish (if i resist the temptation to chuck the book out a window) after yoga tonight.
after that, i drove into the city. it was nice doing the drive in daylight, which has and will be a rare pleasure, as this weekend made me realize how few hours i actually spend with my family while i visit.
i picked up![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sol3 and sweetsbmsn and we had yummy sushi. i was sad to realize i barely eat enough sushi to justify the all-you-can price now - i think i ate 17 pieces or so, and have to focus on the fact that in NY, the $1 per piece of nigiri places are probably worse quality then yuka.
after that, i went back to their hotel for some cuddletime, and then off to chelsea to meet up withnymphochka and her crew. we ended up at a posh lounge for a while, and then went to a party - it was a really neat experience, and i met some very cool people : )
i ended up getting home shortly after 4am, slept till 11, and then spent some time around the family before heading to my grandparents', to be fed a breakfast only my grandma can do, see the annoying bird, and get a few more minutes in with them for the month.
the drive home had its ups and downs, and the important part is thatgoat and i made it back in time to eat before going to see delirium.
overall, and despite not looking like it, i really enjoyed being at the show. actually - a sure way to tell if i'm enjoying a show is to check whether i'm standing like any other person or fidgeting and squirming to sit down - i dislike standing, so any show that has me forgetting that is one that i'm enjoying : ) but yeah, it'd been a while since i've seen a show i enjoyed, and though i could've done without the stage antics of the singers, it was very good to be there.
afterwards, a few of us spent a good deal of time outside of axis, for which time i ranged from being cranky and whiny to silly and roughhousing a little... i feel bad i was being really moody.
when we finally got back tosol3's, there was dead like me'ing, talking, snuggling, and not enough time left to get a decent amount of sleep. c'est la vie.
today, the hours are trickling by. i really need to get off my ass and run to the bank and eat lunch, especially as i want lunch properly digested before yoga tonight. and did i mention i'm really not looking forward to reading the last 70 pages of the good soldier tonight?
i was miserable and cranky for a good part of last night, and woke up feeling the same way after a third or fourth night of lousy sleep. i really need to buy 5htp and try taking it regularly, and what wouldn't i pay to be able to fall asleep, wake up, and actually feel awake and rested.
overall, though, i had a decent weekend of ups and downs.
Friday night was interesting. my mom didn't warn any of the grandparents about my hair, and their reactions were less then supportive - 3 out of 5 even told me i "need" to cut my hair short, which makes me need to fight to retain the desire to actually do it.
my great-aunt is getting worse. i feel guilty for still disliking her, but i just can't get past the shit she put me through when she lived with my family. now, there's a special twist to her neurosis. there were a couple of months, right before i moved to boston, when she'd already moved to morristown and i was working within a mile from her apartment. sometimes, she'd babysit debbie there, and i'd go to pick up debbie on my way home from work - in which cases, the two of them would wait over on the landing for when i drove up. she seems to have modified this memory, and claims that i used to come over to see her during my lunch break. so, each time she sees me, which has been once every two months or so, she first rants about how she hasn't seen me in "a hundred years" and how she'd like to see more of me. then she makes a comment about how i 'used to' 'come visit her'... and then, at some point in the night, she'll tell this one story, of when i, at the age of 6, told her in a tone of admiration that my stepdad 'knows everything' - which, on top of being repeated incessantly, grates on me because my stepdad went through a big personality change when i was 10 or so, and since then, we've struggled to get along.
but, seeing the other grandparents was good and i'm old enough to value the time i get with them.
and after they left, my mom, debbie and i spent some time hanging out and then i did a bit of homework reading before passing out.
Saturday, i woke up around 11, had breakfast, snuck some time online and dug into homework. as of right now, i have 70 pages of the good soldier to finish (if i resist the temptation to chuck the book out a window) after yoga tonight.
after that, i drove into the city. it was nice doing the drive in daylight, which has and will be a rare pleasure, as this weekend made me realize how few hours i actually spend with my family while i visit.
i picked up
sol3 and sweetsbmsn and we had yummy sushi. i was sad to realize i barely eat enough sushi to justify the all-you-can price now - i think i ate 17 pieces or so, and have to focus on the fact that in NY, the $1 per piece of nigiri places are probably worse quality then yuka.after that, i went back to their hotel for some cuddletime, and then off to chelsea to meet up with
nymphochka and her crew. we ended up at a posh lounge for a while, and then went to a party - it was a really neat experience, and i met some very cool people : )i ended up getting home shortly after 4am, slept till 11, and then spent some time around the family before heading to my grandparents', to be fed a breakfast only my grandma can do, see the annoying bird, and get a few more minutes in with them for the month.
the drive home had its ups and downs, and the important part is that
goat and i made it back in time to eat before going to see delirium.overall, and despite not looking like it, i really enjoyed being at the show. actually - a sure way to tell if i'm enjoying a show is to check whether i'm standing like any other person or fidgeting and squirming to sit down - i dislike standing, so any show that has me forgetting that is one that i'm enjoying : ) but yeah, it'd been a while since i've seen a show i enjoyed, and though i could've done without the stage antics of the singers, it was very good to be there.
afterwards, a few of us spent a good deal of time outside of axis, for which time i ranged from being cranky and whiny to silly and roughhousing a little... i feel bad i was being really moody.
when we finally got back to
sol3's, there was dead like me'ing, talking, snuggling, and not enough time left to get a decent amount of sleep. c'est la vie.today, the hours are trickling by. i really need to get off my ass and run to the bank and eat lunch, especially as i want lunch properly digested before yoga tonight. and did i mention i'm really not looking forward to reading the last 70 pages of the good soldier tonight?
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 10:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 12:18 pm (UTC)actually, what i want to do is cut my hair and wear a wig whenever the grandparents are around, so they don't notice.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 12:05 pm (UTC)2) How come you have 5 grandparents, when most people only have 4?
3) How come you're eating lunch at the bank?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 12:21 pm (UTC)2) i lump people into categories. "my parents" are my mom and stepdad - my father is never a part of "my parents"; "the grandparents" are my mom's parents, my stepdad's parents and my maternal grandfather's sister, who never married and spent a number of years living with my family and taking care of debbie, my 12 year old sister.
3) i'm not - they're two stops of the same lunch hour.