past crushes...

[elvendoll]

sol3 helped get me on the train of thought...

back when i was in russia, i had at least one crush i can remember - on a boy that also brought his lunch to school* - he was new to the school/class in second grade** and for a while, would share his tangerines with me.

i don't remember any crushes from fifth and sixth grade, but i was also going to solomon schechter at the time, so thats not surprising. i think i was attracted to a boy named arosh, but i never knew him well enough for an actual crush.

seventh grade i had a crush on a boy named steven, who was in my social studies class, though i never really interacted with him.

sometime in eighth grade, i developed a crush on roey hershkowitz - who was on my bus when i went to solomon schechter, but was going to the public high school. this lasted for several months, and i remember telling my friend eve that i'd go to third base with him. i also remember my friend elissa (the one i'd found on friendster - still no response from her, though) being shocked, as he'd made fun of her when she was in second or third grade, and she was convinced he was a bad person.
in theory, i think roey liked me back, because when i bumped into him once, he asked me to meet him by the art studio he took classes at, but that somehow never happened. *shakes head* i must've spent hours staring at his number in the white pages...

freshman year of high school, i think i was too busy adjusting to a new school. kittypie will probably giggle madly, but i think i was attracted to a kid named ben from usy for a while - but admitting that would've subjected me to years of ridicule.
sophomore year i had the biggest crush on micah ellenson. we cuddled together while seeing alegria at a usy event... and for some reason, nothing ever happened after that. of course, the last time i googled his name, i found out he's a rabbinical student now.
i was also really attracted to zac heyer - so much so, i'd love to know what he looks like now - though, according to zak, he's a hippie still doing hippie things. actually - my thing for zac started freshman year, now that i think of it. and remembering him still makes me swoon : )
sophomore year i also got my first kiss - from a really hot boy named walter, who i met by pinching his ass, repeatedly. what i wouldn't give to find either his last name or the phone number he gave me back in the day***
the summer between sophmore and junior years is prolly when i started having feelings for zak, though that'd take some months to develop - meanwhile, my parents had moved me back to new jersey.
there was noone to crush on in new jersey.
zak was my first boyfriend - we ended up hooking during spring break of my junior year, and lasted long enough for me to give over $600 to the phone company *shudder* that, and we had a bad habit of hooking up whenever we were on the same coast - which happened once or twice a year.
senior year of high school, i was attracted to rob ritzer, who fucked and fucked over someone i was good friends with at the time; but the attraction was based on his charisma/presence more then anything else. actually, i had a similar thing for jim mosel, who i almost expect to see in the pitt each time i'm in harvard square.

and then i moved to boston - and any crushes i've had since then go into a different (though sometimes similar) category.

* everyone was fed school lunch, which was disgusting, unless you had a note from your doctor saying you were allergic to most foods. i tried school food once, went home and told my mom i'm never eating there again. not eating was a punishable offence, so my mom chose wisely to get me a note. i'm not sure whether the other kid had actual allergies or not...

** in russia, you stay with the same 30 or so kids of your class from first to tenth grade - which makes any new kids in a class much more noticeable.

*** i already knew i was moving back to new jersey at that point, and decided that calling him/interacting with him would make me really attached to him, which would be a bad idea before moving. see, i had some brains as a kid... just not enough to keep the phone number in a safe place, apparently.

Comments

[pir.livejournal.com]

I'm always crushing or mildly obsessed about someone, usually several. These days they are more background than they used to be - crushes used to be so important but these days I'm far less worried about them (and most things, really). I tend to not want to pester people who don't show any sign of reciprocation, though.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i don't get strong crushes very often, and i usually have a hard time being forward about them - but aside from the fear of rejection, its also because i really enjoy having crushes and the sillyness and highs they give me.

[pir.livejournal.com]

I kind of enjoy it, but I don't tend to deal well with wanting things I can't have ;)
Partly the possibility of rejection but mostly these days because I just don't want to bother people with my sillyness.