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Nov. 7th, 2003 11:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollfour years ago tomorrow i felt like i hadn't done enough during the weekend, i was frustrated/disappointed by my father, spent time with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bugmanhai and tobi, and talked about travel that never happened.
three years ago today i was feeling crappy, hungry, unmedicated and whiny. both of these entries refer to 'time under the blankets' - and while i don't remember hiding in my room this season, i think having my butt plastered to the couch while watching crappy tv is the new 'hiding under the blankets'
two years ago tomorrow i talked about feeling awkward at the club, breakup stuff, about feeling tired of fighting the suck - which is a stage i hit almost inevitably each season, about reading marabou stork nightmares, which i ended up really liking by the time i was through and i posted a picture of abi. i realized yesterday that its been a year since i've taken pictures of her... and that that is probably a sad testimonial about how i feel about kids past the age of 2 - i still love her, but i'm not gaga over her anymore.
a year ago tomorrow i was in NJ, talking about abi growing up, worrying about my grandfather, who i believe was getting specked out for heart surgery, contemplating my family's friends and convincing myself to look forward to a family party. somewhere in there, i mentioned urges of growing up. i still get those. i think i have, a little, in the past year. and i've definitely been more active about doing stuff i'm afraid of - but not good enough yet. there's big things on the horizon, and i'm living life with my head turned to the side, waiting for things to magically solidify on their own - and i still need to fix that.
bugmanhai and tobi, and talked about travel that never happened.three years ago today i was feeling crappy, hungry, unmedicated and whiny. both of these entries refer to 'time under the blankets' - and while i don't remember hiding in my room this season, i think having my butt plastered to the couch while watching crappy tv is the new 'hiding under the blankets'
two years ago tomorrow i talked about feeling awkward at the club, breakup stuff, about feeling tired of fighting the suck - which is a stage i hit almost inevitably each season, about reading marabou stork nightmares, which i ended up really liking by the time i was through and i posted a picture of abi. i realized yesterday that its been a year since i've taken pictures of her... and that that is probably a sad testimonial about how i feel about kids past the age of 2 - i still love her, but i'm not gaga over her anymore.
a year ago tomorrow i was in NJ, talking about abi growing up, worrying about my grandfather, who i believe was getting specked out for heart surgery, contemplating my family's friends and convincing myself to look forward to a family party. somewhere in there, i mentioned urges of growing up. i still get those. i think i have, a little, in the past year. and i've definitely been more active about doing stuff i'm afraid of - but not good enough yet. there's big things on the horizon, and i'm living life with my head turned to the side, waiting for things to magically solidify on their own - and i still need to fix that.
