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Nov. 10th, 2003 02:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolli had a weird dream, either last night or this morning. it included:
absurdly weird bathrooms... that are too vague in my memory to be able to describe.
a walking rotary - that i went around twice, to confirm the suspicion that i'm being followed, by a family.
i was carrying a large gun of some sorts.
i then lost the family, but ended up getting mugged by someone else.
the gun had turned into a large knife, which, by the end of it all, was used to cut me, several times, but the wounds didn't hurt afterwards, and didn't bleed - they were just slices, like gills, with red on the inside.
i called my mother to tell her what happened, and she was too into rambling into her own stuff to pay attention.
the dream also featured an airport/subway place (where my mom was), that i've seen in previous dreams.
reading about three years ago today was eye-opening. first, i can't believe its only been three years since i could hang out with e., j. and c. ... there was definitely weirdness there, but nothing like now... and i'm okay with the drift with the former two, but... *sigh* it was also weird to see myself break in a way i haven't in a long time. i remember vividly the 'staying up till dawn, paging and not being called back' incidents, but time with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bugmanhai and sol3 has done a lot to heal those scars. i find it scary that the overall damage of it all still lingers when i'm broken.
over the weekend, i found out that yahoo deleted my old geocities site. the way back machine still has it, but i'm really not pleased that this weird mirror of who i used to be has disappeared.
today, i'm full of escapism thoughts... but i'm having a hard time focussing on the closest vacation - vegas. i think a big part of that is that when i play mental pictures of it, most of the images come up as being inside (cold) hotel room, (cold) hotel lobbies, (cold) cirque shows and (fake) hotel pool. i have no doubt that the vacation will be a blast, but it won't fullfil the outdoor cravings i'm feeling now.
i also can't focus on jamaica. i have such mixed feelings about the trip. first, it hasn't been booked yet. second, without a male escort, it'll be wonderful and relaxing, but it won't be an adventure... and without available nightlife, it'll swing way over into 'mellow' and be really low on 'fun'.
actually - i think what i'm craving is adventure, outdoorsyness and exploring. yeah.
absurdly weird bathrooms... that are too vague in my memory to be able to describe.
a walking rotary - that i went around twice, to confirm the suspicion that i'm being followed, by a family.
i was carrying a large gun of some sorts.
i then lost the family, but ended up getting mugged by someone else.
the gun had turned into a large knife, which, by the end of it all, was used to cut me, several times, but the wounds didn't hurt afterwards, and didn't bleed - they were just slices, like gills, with red on the inside.
i called my mother to tell her what happened, and she was too into rambling into her own stuff to pay attention.
the dream also featured an airport/subway place (where my mom was), that i've seen in previous dreams.
reading about three years ago today was eye-opening. first, i can't believe its only been three years since i could hang out with e., j. and c. ... there was definitely weirdness there, but nothing like now... and i'm okay with the drift with the former two, but... *sigh* it was also weird to see myself break in a way i haven't in a long time. i remember vividly the 'staying up till dawn, paging and not being called back' incidents, but time with
bugmanhai and sol3 has done a lot to heal those scars. i find it scary that the overall damage of it all still lingers when i'm broken.over the weekend, i found out that yahoo deleted my old geocities site. the way back machine still has it, but i'm really not pleased that this weird mirror of who i used to be has disappeared.
today, i'm full of escapism thoughts... but i'm having a hard time focussing on the closest vacation - vegas. i think a big part of that is that when i play mental pictures of it, most of the images come up as being inside (cold) hotel room, (cold) hotel lobbies, (cold) cirque shows and (fake) hotel pool. i have no doubt that the vacation will be a blast, but it won't fullfil the outdoor cravings i'm feeling now.
i also can't focus on jamaica. i have such mixed feelings about the trip. first, it hasn't been booked yet. second, without a male escort, it'll be wonderful and relaxing, but it won't be an adventure... and without available nightlife, it'll swing way over into 'mellow' and be really low on 'fun'.
actually - i think what i'm craving is adventure, outdoorsyness and exploring. yeah.
