(no subject)

[elvendoll]

sleep musings:
i went to bed around 12:30 on Monday night, and hit snooze for about an hour after the alarm first rang. and when i did get up, i was more awake then most mornings.
last night, i went to bed at 11, and fell asleep by 11:30. i was hitting snooze for just over a half hour before i had to get up, and i'm still solidly in groggland.
obviously, sleeping more isn't the answer.
i'm convinced getting a space heater that is timed to warm up the room for when i wake up would help, but i've yet to see a timeable space heater. i don't know what else to do... i plan on doing stuff like turning on my purple lights when the alarm first goes... actually, new idea - getting a second, cd, alarm and playing soft music as well as having the maniacal beeps i san hit snooze on. hrmmm. and my stereo is now just about 10 years old, so i think i could justify replacing it...

caring musings:
when i care about someone, i really care, and its pretty hard to do permanent damage to that.
it is, however, possible to make me resent caring so much... and while it'd always take very little to invoke the caring, it also takes very little to invoke the resentment. i've just pieced this together, so now i'll need to spend time trying to figure out how to change the latter.

i've got anxiety kicking up again.
i'm sure shifting my med timings (not entirely by choice - i keep forgetting to replace the (now empty) bottle i keep in the office, and then take meds much later on at night) isn't helping. i'm sure stress over the final paper plays a part in it, too. i just don't know if there's anything else to it or if i'm projecting left and right.

if i haven't mentioned it before, my coworkers listen to really fucking scary music. there's some 'normal' music i can tolerate, but the whiny love songs really make me nauseous/twitchy.

a part of me is tempted to cancel my trip to NJ, lock myself in the house and attempt to write the 10 page paper. i know i won't be able to feel better until its written, and having 3 weeks of anxiety doesn't sound like a lot of fun. only i do need to research for it, and i don't think i could get that all done this weekend, and if i don't finish, i won't see my family until mid-january, which isn't good. what i really need to do is be better about working on bits of it on weeknights, because the more of it i have done, the less stressed i will be.

vegas is in a week and a day *implode*
i'm totally excited and a tiny bit nervous - it should totally rock, though. i just need to make sure to pay all my bills before going and only take the tiny credit card with me, just in case.

Comments

[hawver.livejournal.com]

You can get timers that plug into any outlet, people would commonly use them to turn the lights on in their house while they were off on vacation., and then you can plug the space heater into that.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

tobi had the same suggestion, and i'm looking into pricing...

[pir.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I do. I have an electric powered oil filled radiator (it doesn't make any noise) in my room so I can be warmer in the night and not have to heat the whole upper two floors, plugged into a digital timer I bought at Home Despot for something like $12.

[victoria7.livejournal.com]

I have a problem with waking in the morning and will sleep through alarms that wake all three of my roommates... Evidently, I hit snooze, but I have no direct knowledge of that...

I will order this product at the next paycheck... Super Shaker and Sonic Boom Combo (http://www.dynamic-living.com/sonic_boom_clock.htm)... I'm not too into the loud alarm---I actually need a quieter alarm for the sake of household peace, but I've heard great things about the bed shaker...

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

my problem isn't that i don't wake up, i do wake up and can't motivate enough to get up instead of hitting snooze and going back to sleep, even if its just for 9 minutes until the next wakeup... and i do get up eventually, but end up running late more often then not.
what i'm looking for is some way to not fall asleep as hard between snoozes and be more comfortable getting up...

*giggle* of course, the bed shaker also makes me think of coin-op vibrating beds, which i've never seen IRL, but were ingrained into my head through sitcoms...

[victoria7.livejournal.com]

tee hee hee... i posted my comment as a stand-alone on my page and a friend offered to help with the red velvet wall & mirrored ceilings... tee hee hee... :-)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

*lol*

y'know, i wouldn't object to such help, especially if the color was changed to purple...

[victoria7.livejournal.com]

:-) that sounds lovely...

i want to get a trailer and turn in into a completely over the top boudoir... with vevet & satin & mirrors & just the whole shebang... :-)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

that sounds really cool!

of course, it sounds so cool that it'd beg to be brought to BM, and would then get covered in playa dust, right?

[victoria7.livejournal.com]

of course it would want to go to burning man!!! i brought an tiny little rv last year and the playa dust didn't hurt it at all... ;-)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

huh...

mental note made : )

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

good luck finding a way to get out of bed in the morning!

thanks : )

yoga insists on being done inthe morning

really?
a couple of months ago, i started going once a week, in the evenings, and it goes fairly well...
...i just can't fathom going somewhere before work, as i have to be here pretty damn early...

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

aah...

i think it'll take me a couple of years to get to that point...
one of the things i really like about class is that we do different things each weak, so there's never too much of a routine with it, and different muscles get focussed on each time...

[newbodvie.livejournal.com]

when i care about someone, i really care, and its pretty hard to do permanent damage to that. it is, however, possible to make me resent caring so much...

Wow am I WITH YOU on this one! Yes, it sucks. I guess I've been questioning this from a 'balance' standpoint as of late. Perhaps we care TOO much, and so the solution to being less resentful at times is to care less? I know that sounds harsh, but it kind of feels like a cause and effect kind of thing and you can't really change/prevent the effect without first changing the cause. Well, those are my thoughts for the moment...

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i don't see caring as the problem...
i think its more that when things go awry, i care and resent it, instead of being able to pull back on the caring...

[cuthalion.livejournal.com]

I don't know if this would work for you.

I am using the Zen Alarm Clock.

The theory is that it wakes you more gradually easing your back into conciousness. The way it works is at the time you set it for it sounds a resonant chime (diiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggg.....) once. Then, 3-1/2 minutes later, it sounds it again and then after a little more than 2 minutes and then a minute and a bit and then 45 second and before too long it's chiming every 4 seconds, and pretty hard to ignore.

I can bring mine to vegas if you'd like to try it out while there, though that's not really a reasonable test since getting out of bed at noon to have great fun is a lot easier than getting out of bed at 8:00 to go do something irritating.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

does it have a snooze button?

in theory, i want to try the heater thing first - having my room be warm when i wake up sounds like a good idea all around.
i was also thinking of looking into the sunrise alarms, but haven't gotten that far/desperate yet.

sol3 uses binaural beats, but the volume they need to be set to is a bit too loud for me...

[cuthalion.livejournal.com]

No, basically it IS a snooze button. Like it wakes you up a bit and lets you fall back asleep and wakes up up a bit and lets you fall a little less back asleep and so on.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

hrmm... okie...

definately something to consider : )