(no subject)

[elvendoll]

i haven't updated in a while, mostly because my moods have been rather off lately.

i had a very good weekend, running away to vermont with sol3. unfortunately, we both had work to do while up there, but it was still really nice to get out of town and out of our rooms, have a bunch of time to be chill together, and enjoy griffin grove.
the drive back... well, it sucked. it took us about 6 hours to drive home through a blizzard.
when we got back, we chanced into reverie and grabbed dinner, and then i put some finishing touches to my paper.

Monday i was still feeling fairly stressy - it took until the end of the day, and when i dropped the paper off, to feel the weight of the class lifting, which was nice.
unfortunately, my mood pooped out not long after that, and i spent Monday night in front of the tube, watching wuthering heights and true romance instead of doing anything productive or going to ceremony.

last night, i did some xmas shopping after work, and ended up spending almost as much on myself as i did on other people, which wasn't really on my list of things to do : / luckily, so far, one of my purchases got a rave review from sol3 and zerokey.
in theory, sol3 and i were supposed to do dinner and a movie after my shopping excursion, but during the (less then stellar) meal at sol azteca, i realized that i was feeling entirely too sore/tired, and would be taking a gamble on not enjoying the movie if we were to follow through with the plan... and with where my time and budget are right now, paying for a movie that has me out till almost 2am and not enjoying it would suck.
sol3 was being his usual wonderful and patient self, and we just went back to his house, and eventually, we played a good game of scrabble with zerokey and went to bed.

on Monday, it looked like my week was free and clear... now its Wednesday, and it feels like the world is squeezing me in again.
tonight, i need to do some more shopping, and then make a 7:30 yoga class.
there's two items on the agenda for tomorrow night, and in theory, i'd like to have some fun on Friday night.
Saturday will need to include more shopping, wrapping presents, being around when a roommate moves in, making pot luck alcoholic pie and getting ready for the party.
Sunday, there may be a brunch, sol3 and i were going to try to squeeze in a movie, and somewhere in there, i really need to clean. yeah.

one of the suckiest parts about being depressed is that i never feel rested. i feel a nearly-constant need to rest, but when i take the time to, the craving isn't satisfied.

my dreams have been very literal lately. the night before last, i dreamt that the hair at the front of my head was chin-length, but the hair in the back was still too short for braiding. but i was liking my hair chin-length.
i'm debating recutting my hair again.
the logic is that i don't like it right now, so if i don't like what i get again, i'm not losing much.
on the other hand, its also tempting to just keep growing it until it can be braided.
and of course, i'm having the hardest time deciding.
last night, i dreamt of having a crush on a boy... and it being reciprocated, despite me being a total wreck at the time and there being some other (cuter/more interesting) girl hanging around him. and i was a wreck in the dream - to the point where my house flooded all the way up to my neck at one point....
its funny... i love the nre/new connections feeling... and even in the dream, it felt so real and so great...

my sister is coming to visit me on xmas day, and is staying for the weekend.
i'm thinking of taking her to the science museum or the aquarium.
does anyone have any other suggestions?
would anyone want to hang out with the two of us??

Comments

[newbodvie.livejournal.com]

how old is your sis?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

eep, forgot to mention that - she's 12...

[kittypie.livejournal.com]

when i went to the mit museum i was very impressed. and a lot of the exhibits are interactive, something a kid her age would find interesting. that is if shes into technology/geeky stuff like i am :)

[xevb3k.livejournal.com]

Yay for Vermont! I'm going up there next week.

[iluxa.livejournal.com]

one of the suckiest parts about being depressed is that i never feel rested. i feel a nearly-constant need to rest, but when i take the time to, the craving isn't satisfied.

i know exactly how you feel. i feel that way all the time. so instead of doing possibly fun things with people, i decide i'll go home and really relax so i feel much better tomorrow, and it never works - i end up pissing the time away most of the time.

keep jumping from one thing to another, and can't even concentrate on anything to really get into it, let alone extract some satisfaction.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

a friend once told me that telling a depressed person what to do is like banging your head against a wall, because they come up with reasons and/or excuses why a proposed solution won't work to avoid trying it - and it scared me how true that is.

that said, things that would likely help you:
exercise, especially in the morning, to kick-start production of good chemicals and the metabolism
maybe melatonin supplements, maybe chamomile tea - basically, stuff that helps you sleep deeper...

i also find that i can keep going longer if i don't let myself slow down - if i have plans for 8 or 9pm, its sometimes better to keep myself on my feet until then, rather then going home and attempting anything restful...

[iluxa.livejournal.com]

hmm.. thanks for the useful advice. as always, i pretty much already know what needs to be done - exercise, spend my time more productively, and yeah, rest better. but despite it being obvious still takes a lot of dedication to put into practice.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i find that starting with small goals works better for me - like yoga once a week, which i haven't been doing as regularly as i'd like, is still working much better then when i got a gym membership with the idea of doing that 2-3 times a week...