(no subject)

[elvendoll]

last night, i fell asleep with leonard cohen's the night comes on stuck in my head

I went down to the place
Where I knew she lay waiting
Under the marble and the snow
I said, Mother I'm frightened
The thunder and the lightning
I'll never come through this alone
She said, I'll be with you
My shawl wrapped around you
My hand on your head when you go
And the night came on
It was very calm
I wanted the night to go on and on
But she said, Go back to the World
We were fighting in Egypt
When they signed this agreement
That nobody else had to die
There was this terrible sound
And my father went down
With a terrible wound in his side
He said, Try to go on
Take my books, take my gun
Remember, my son, how they lied
And the night comes on
It's very calm
I'd like to pretend that my father was wrong
But you don't want to lie, not to the young

We were locked in this kitchen
I took to religion
And I wondered how long she would stay
I needed so much
To have nothing to touch
I've always been greedy that way
But my son and my daughter
Climbed out of the water
Crying, Papa, you promised to play
And they lead me away
To the great surprise
It's Papa, don't peek, Papa, cover your eyes
And they hide, they hide in the World

Now I look for her always
I'm lost in this calling
I'm tied to the threads of some prayer
Saying, When will she summon me
When will she come to me
What must I do to prepare
When she bends to my longing
Like a willow, like a fountain
She stands in the luminous air
And the night comes on
And it's very calm
I lie in her arms and says, When I'm gone
I'll be yours, yours for a song

Now the crickets are singing
The vesper bells ringing
The cat's curled asleep in his chair
I'll go down to Bill's Bar
I can make it that far
And I'll see if my friends are still there
Yes, and here's to the few
Who forgive what you do
And the fewer who don't even care
And the night comes on
It's very calm
I want to cross over, I want to go home
But she says, Go back, go back to the World

this morning, i woke up with a poem stuck in my head:

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

in between, i had a restless night.
my room was freezing, and sol3 and i held each other tight all night. i think that when i sleep alone, i twist and turn and only wake up if the covers get adjusted in a way that makes me cold; when i'm cuddled up with someone, i wake up anytime i need to turn around, to make sure i do so with the least chance of waking them up. well, last night, i was tossing and turning a lot, because i was perpetually cold, thirsty (but too cold to get out of bed and get water) and my joints would get sore (which hasn't happened in a bit, actually). somewhere in there, i was also aware that sol3 wasn't feeling well, and remember sprinkling his back with kisses a few times, in hopes that'd make him feel a bit better.
before then, we had a mellow evening of just being curled up together - which was nice, if you forget that we did want to go out at some point, but my room was too cold to get up : /

and yeah, i adjusted my heater setting back to what it probably was before gaelen changed it, and yesterday, i felt the very last rung of the heater warm up - which means that the rest is prolly caused by a huge air bubble and needs to be bled. and with all luck, that can happen soon, because part of the reason i haven't cleaned my room is that it's so fucking cold in there.

of course, i was a total moron and didn't take my pills last night, and that is probably affecting how crappy i feel right now.

Comments

[zerokey.livejournal.com]

Ozymandias has been with me since first reading the poem in eighth grade.

When becoming high and mighty, it acts as a perfect leveler.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

*nods*
there are poems that i've read a few times, over the years, that take some time to sink in and become part of me, and there are poems that just intergrate after the first reading, and Ozymandias is definately in the latter category.

for me, when it pops up like this, its more of a reminder of the impermanence/transience of things.

by the way - i'd love to get some time with you to talk about do androids dream of electric sheep at some point : )

[zerokey.livejournal.com]

do you have a radiator key? If not, you can just use pliers.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i so have no clue...

*ducks* i was going to find instructions online and ask gaelen or sol3 to do it.

[zerokey.livejournal.com]

:)

Just find the little hole that has a square peg in it on the right or left side of the radiator.

grasp it with pliers and hold a cup right underneath. turn it until water starts to flow..when it's flowing regularly, turn it back.

make sure the radiator is -ON- before doing this :)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

yes, but i'm a weakling and a wuss about potentially breaking something i can't fix, which makes me lean strongly towards asking someone who has more clues then i do in situations like this...