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elvendolla mellow evening and a good night's sleep seem to have helped me destress a bit after a workweek that was worse for me, stress-wise, then the entire month i did tech support on my own (which is now done by 4 people). the only thing is, i am dreading the mere thought of work, and am scared what it'll be like when i get back from vacation and add the stress of school. right now, i'm seeing a ton of stress in my future and it brings me near tears - not because of the stress itself, but because of the impact it will have on my relationships and social interactions. times like right now, i just want to be put out of my misery.
of course feeling rather disconnected right before a week to be spent away from all of my friends and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sol3 is probably not the best thing in existence.
vacation vacations are such a mixed bag for me.
i love travelling - exploring a different place, meeting new people, rediscovering myself by virtue of being in a brand new context. in playing by heart, sean connery's character says that sometimes, it takes having someone falling in love with you to make you realize you are worth loving - in such a vain, making new friends while travelling reminds me that i might not be as boring and hollow as i feel i am. it also doesn't hurt that i've usually had easy access to the 'net whenever i have travelled.
with vacations like this, like jamaica, the experience is entirely different. it is physically relaxing, but i'm stuck within a resort, a paradise that is entirely artificial, with very few escapes and only my books to ground/center me. i know i need this vacation. i need a break from work, i need a break from winter, and being next the ocean is definitely very good for me. but i'm dreading the isolation, the feeling trapped, the uncertainty of any social interaction.
next year, i really hope the belize trip happens.
and it is a little weird - i am having a bunch of less-then-stellar thoughts right now, both about work and the trip, but i'm still okay - still here enough to clean my room - which, with all luck, will also involve doing the majority of my packing.
of course feeling rather disconnected right before a week to be spent away from all of my friends and
sol3 is probably not the best thing in existence.vacation vacations are such a mixed bag for me.
i love travelling - exploring a different place, meeting new people, rediscovering myself by virtue of being in a brand new context. in playing by heart, sean connery's character says that sometimes, it takes having someone falling in love with you to make you realize you are worth loving - in such a vain, making new friends while travelling reminds me that i might not be as boring and hollow as i feel i am. it also doesn't hurt that i've usually had easy access to the 'net whenever i have travelled.
with vacations like this, like jamaica, the experience is entirely different. it is physically relaxing, but i'm stuck within a resort, a paradise that is entirely artificial, with very few escapes and only my books to ground/center me. i know i need this vacation. i need a break from work, i need a break from winter, and being next the ocean is definitely very good for me. but i'm dreading the isolation, the feeling trapped, the uncertainty of any social interaction.
next year, i really hope the belize trip happens.
and it is a little weird - i am having a bunch of less-then-stellar thoughts right now, both about work and the trip, but i'm still okay - still here enough to clean my room - which, with all luck, will also involve doing the majority of my packing.
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ground & center
Date: 2004-01-24 11:45 am (UTC)I find that when I'm out of my normal patterns, traveling in an area that I'm not familiar with, I can always rely on the elements to ground me. Sitting in the sun, feeling it warm me to the bones. A nap on the grass under a shady tree, breezes rustling my hair. Rain coursing down my body, drops splashing through the puddles around me. They all provide a chance to ignore my surroundings and concentrate on what is always there, what I know about myself.
And if you develop a connection to both sun & rain, chances are pretty good that you'll find one or both no matter what area you're traveling in!
Re: ground & center
Date: 2004-01-24 11:59 am (UTC)beyond that, i'm a social creature, and going to a resort w/o friends adds a lot of awkwardness to all social situations.