i'm not updating much these days...

[elvendoll]

...mostly, it's because i've been feeling off.

i've been depressy, anxious, hormonal, headachy, you name it. if it's not one thing, it's another.
i feel bad sol3 has had to deal with me, and not making anyone else do that is an easy excuse to give in to the reclusive urges - it's almost startling to see how much effort goes into simple stuff like replying to email.

the weekend was good in the 'chill' sort of way - my mom and debbie had a huge fight on Friday that lead to her being on very good behavior for the rest of the weekend, which is one of those 'the end shouldn't justify the means, but this is nice' sort of things...
my mom is beyond stressed.
the male half of their closest couple-friends is unemployed and the female half is working two jobs to try and support the family, which has lead to my mom realizing that if/when my stepdad becomes unemployed again, there's very little that she can do to support the family - she's not the kind of person that is good at actively marketing herself and finding students is hard enough in a good economy and much more difficult now.
so, she picked a possible change of career for herself, and her preliminary research is showing that there's a good chance she'll need to go to a college, vs. just a training program, to get there - which is something that intimidates her to no end and makes her feel incredibly vulnerable, worried and stressed - which, of course, if being taken out on debbie.
to make things even harder, my stepdad isn't being entirely supportive. he can't quite understand that/why there's a fire under her ass and, as usual, is too wrapped up in the shul and helping people outside of the immediate family.

i feel really bad for debbie, but the fact that she can't seem to understand simple advice doesn't help. i know she's a teenager and isn't supposed to be able to see past her nose, but damnit...

everyone in my family can't stop raving about how much they like my hair short - so much, that they almost convince me.
then, i get home, and am surrounded by people who think i looked better with long hair, and i'm just confused.
for me, though, i'm not sure it's about which one looks better, but about which one makes me feel better - and while the two can be related, they're not the same thing.
now, i'm a creature of habit, which definitely gives points to the long hair, but hey, the whole point of this exercise was to wipe that slate clean. i guess i'm just at a very confused stage.
that said, if all goes well, i'll appear to have long hair next week : )

oh, and can i say it again? praguepragueprague. pragueprague. and i won't say anything about checking the forecast there *zips mouth*

as far as mundane stuff goes, i finally started making a dent in the school reading. not big enough to make the backlog seem less huge, but enough feet-wetting to make it fall out of the 'fear of the unknown' category, which is definitely a good thing.

Comments

[devina.livejournal.com]

Please take lots of pictures of Prague! This is the week I was supposed to have gone, and I want to see what I missed.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i plan to!
in fact, i'm insanely glad i sorta-splurged on a smaller camera last year - my old camera was too bulky to be kept with me without detracting comfort, and i never felt comfortable with the idea of taking it travelling and having it be stolen out of my sleeping quarters; this new one is small enough to never be a bother inside a pocket, and i'm excited about taking it with me : )

(and don't check the weather there, then - it's pretty sad when boston has a crappier forecast then eastern europe)