(no subject)

[elvendoll]

ugh.
this cold is really kicking my ass...
i was just in bed, feeling so cozy under the blankets, but having the desire to write.
i missed being at my mom's house, where when i was sick, she'd bring big ass thermoses of tea to my room, and refill them whenever i was done..
that, and my computer and tv were in the room...
not that i didn't choose this setup - i usually prefer it...

something my mom brought up - nearly all my problems are stress related.
with stress, its like i'm a bad strainer - more pours in then is able to pour out... its fine for a bit of time, but after a while, it starts overfilling it...
because my anxiety is pretty much the (major) overspilling of the stress...
and everything in my life ends up being stress... from any little thing that doesn't go asi thought it should, to social situations in general, school is major stress for me...
and stress makes my ulcer act up, my face to break out & generally make me both unhappy and a pain to be around.
i've really been trying to chill out lately.
i mean damnit, i should be able to have more fun!
i just don't know how to pretty much brainwash myself out of it.
and yeah, a lot of times i do come off as blowing off any advice given to me...
i don't know what to say about that.. a lot of times i just feel like i need to give a negative answer before going and really thinking something through so that no expectations of me are built up...
and yeah, i know i need to start seeing a shrink... i just need to get a job with bennies first : /

it just sucks because at this point in my lifei should be so much more.
i have a great place to live, a wonderful and caring boyfriend and a supportive family.
there's really not much more i could ask for.
and i know the problem isn't me needing something else, that its just me
*sigh*

and as usual there was so much i wanted to write and its all gone now...
i really hate it when that happens...

and amnit, i really want answers to last entries questions : )
i am forever curious as to how i come off, but at the smae time i have a hard time trusting compliments...
and i really wantto know which pic looks better... ken broke the name thing - before, bill & becky liked the green one & kira & kevin liked the blue one... the name thing was really curious : )
and i am also curious as to hwo actually reads this, but thought i'd ask in a more creative manner..
c'est la vie.

Comments

Re:

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

well, now you have an account, so it doesn't matter anyway, but if you're someone i know, then why not put a name in with the anonymous comment? you always end up telling me if its you or not anyways : )

and thanks... though i think i'm kinda partial to the blue..