feeling meeemey

[elvendoll]

Ask me a question, and I'll answer it! And then I'll ask you one. Comments are screened.

Comments

[contessagrrl.livejournal.com]

When do you feel most at peace?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

when I'm enjoying nature.

[msdaisy.livejournal.com]

If money and qualifications were not at issue and you could do whatever you wanted professionally, what would you do? And if you didn't have to work for money, would you still do it? If not, what would you do?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i think if i could define the what, i'd try to find a way there.

ideally, i'd like to work 6-8 months out of the year and have the rest of the year for travelling or taking classes.

question for you: money/time not being an issue, would there be anything you would want to go back to school for?

[msdaisy.livejournal.com]

There are many things I'd like to go back to school for. I love being in school and could happily be a semi-permanent student if we could afford it. I would love to do a liberal arts Master's degree which is sort of like repeating undergrad but more so. I also often toy with the idea of getting a Master's in Social Work although I would be interested in community organization or research, not counseling or traditional social work.

The idea of working 6-8 months a year and then taking time off is enticing. I think my parents are in an enviable position right now. They both have projects that deeply involve them and they are usually quite busy but they are still able to take vacations or go to Florida frequently.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

out of curiousity, what is your opinion of teaching?

i somehow got the idea that college professors not only get 2-3 months off, but also get to take classes for free.

[msdaisy.livejournal.com]

Teaching is not something I can or would want to do. Although I often wish I could because I think it's a great profession. [buzzkill bitch mode] The vacation time depends on the level at which you teach - if it's college level you spend your off time researching/writing/ conferencing. If it's lower level you might be off or you might be working to supplement your much-too-small winter income. [/buzzkill bitch mode]

But you probably do get to take classes for free!

[kittypie.livejournal.com]

what do you feel about the idea of "the other" in terms of you vs. them on a societal level - the freaks/the normals... do you feel like you are "the other"? do you still feel like you are an outsider, and if so, why? i know you've mentioned being unable to interact with certain kinds of people and i guess what i'm getting to is do you think this is mostly their fault or your own? what incident, if any, sparked these feelings within you (if you can remember it) in the past? ok this is more than one question.... i will shut up now.

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i'm having a really hard time with this.

partially, because i don't feel grounded right now, and it makes it hard to draw lines around 'me', who i am and what i stand for.
partially, because i don't interact with very many normals - i've known my coworkers long enough to know them as individuals, and without taking in-person classes, i just don't have the level of interaction with 'the others' to be able to define them / have a strong opinion of how they relate to me.

i don't necessarily feel like 'the other' anymore in the sense of feeling like a freak. i am conscious of being drawn to freaks, though, and feel torn between feeling more comfortable and like a poser around them.

as far as fault, i've always blamed it on human nature and the bell curve, rather then any individuals.

as far as when it started, i actually remember pretty clearly.
i was always the outcast at kindergarden/school; even my courtyard friends treated me differently when we were in kindergarden together. i was only in kindergarden with them for a year, i think, and then went to a specialized one for kids with glasses. i then went to a specialized school (that taught english very early) and only 2 kids from my courtyard went there, neither of whom i was friends with in the first place.
stasechka used to have the coolest birthday parties, and at her 6th or 7th birthday party, there were these american balloons that had a whistle attached to make noise when deflating. after the party, i brought it in to school with me, and everyone in my class loved it - and by proxy, me. i went from not being noticed to being in the center of the cool kids in a span of an hour. and then the teacher took the balloon away, and the cool kids dropped me again - and i realized that if that's how they were, i didn't want to hang out with them in the first place.
of course, a lot of that got screwed up when i came to america, and wasn't righted again until i moved to mission viejo.

[abtarchive.livejournal.com]

What does your life look like in 3 years?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

i have no clue.

in 5-10 years, i'd like to have the 'what am i doing with my life?' question sorted out, as well as a spacious, somewhat permanent living space, but i'm not sure how i am getting there yet, or how far along i'll be in 3 years.

question for you: if money/time/noise weren't an issue, what adjustments/additions would have done to your house?

[abtarchive.livejournal.com]

I have a list a mile long, too boring to actually write it all out :)

We have *actual* house plans, which involve entirely gutting our upstairs bathroom and redoing the kitchen. Our house set up is kind of weird right now...someone pulled down a lot of walls at some point but it still doesnt all quite work...so there's this strange little dining room that doesnt make sense. I want to rip out the breakfast bar between the two rooms and turn it all into one big kitchen, with a dining area as part of it that is nice enough for company, but casual enough to eat breakfast at.

You should see how I can spend imaginary money on home stuff -- jacuzzi tubs and granite counters, anyone? :)

[tcb.livejournal.com]

where, or when, do you feel most at home?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

when i'm surrounded by people who i love/love me enjoying themselves. it's one of the reasons i love having friends over, and am a sucker for big family parties.

question(s) for you: how did you come to live in this area? what factors keep you here, and what factors would prompt you to move elsewhere?

[tcb.livejournal.com]

how did you come to live in this area?

well, when I was 7, my family moved up here from Cleveland for a year while my dad was on sabbatical. during that time, my mom decided to go back to school to get her masters degree at NEC. after the year, my dad and I moved back, and mom commuted back and forth, finishing her degree, and then teaching. when I was 12, my mom and I moved here, and my dad started commuting. then after a brief move back to Cleveland when my mom was dying during my Senior year of HS, I moved back here for college, and eventually work. then I moved down to DC for a couple of years, and then back again.

what factors keep you here?

family and friends are the main reasons, and despite a lot of shortcomings (high rent, high cost of living, antiquated liquor laws, etc) I really do like the area. it has a big town feel, without being a really huge town like New York, DC, San Fran, or LA. it's also an old enough town to have character, which I also like.

what factors would prompt you to move elsewhere?

a change of pace, a really good job opportunity, partner(s) also moving.. I would certainly live somewhere else. I've done enough travelling to appreciate the differences between places, and that each place has its own culture, its own feel. I do think that I would want to be near water.. coastal cities like San Fran, Seattle, Sydney, or that have sufficient waterways like Amsterdam.. of the places that I've been, I think that Australia is someplace that would be very easy to live in.. except for the fact that it basically means losing touch with everyone that I care about seeing, which is a pretty big negative. but I really liked everything else about it.

[sol3.livejournal.com]

How have you seen yourself grow/change over the past few years? How would you like to see yourself grow and change over the next few?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

more then anything else, i think i've become more aware of my shortcomings, but in a 'specific things to work on' way, rather then a general 'i suck'.
i'm working on living more actively, and SAD throws a monkeywrench into that, so i am not in a good place to evaluate my progress there.

in the next few years, i'd like to get over my social awkwardness and anxiety, as well as learn better willpower/time management skills and work on making/keeping myself in shape.

now i am curious, how have you seen me grow and change?

[cos]

Where are you from, and how do you think that affects you?
(question intentionally open to interpretation)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

I was born in Moscow and lived there until 1989.
I left early enough into childhood that I never got Russian culture ingrained in me, and started settling into American life late enough that I have a sizeable hole where most people have cultural references/trivia, and as a result, feel like I don't belong to either/any culture (and kind of resent that).

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

question for you: you seem to be very focussed/motivated regarding staying on the go and keeping an active life. where/what do you atttribute this to?

[sweetbaboo.livejournal.com]

Name one thing that would keep you from moving to California, but still be a good thing?

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

somehow coming to own a house around here.

new question as i am running out the door

[kittypie.livejournal.com]

how come you havent answered mine yet? *sob*

Re: new question as i am running out the door

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

because i want to take more time to answer yours then i have atm ; )

[bitvoid.livejournal.com]

You've been back forever, why have I not seen you yet? When should we get together? ;)

(ok, so not much for deep philosophical questions tonight..)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

because i suck; i still have your last email in my inbox, which means 'need to reply to this' and i totally meant to comment on the pictures.

& the holiday season has my head a little spinny. soon after that?

[bitvoid.livejournal.com]

I think, all things considered, one is best off facing the holidays with a little spinny for the head. ;)

I've been putting off all my xmas/nye panic until this week, so next year sounds good to me..I doubt I'll have any spare time/sanity before then, either.