(no subject)

[elvendoll]

i ended up skipping out on yoga last night - i just want the toe to heal and pushing it seemed slightly counter productive.
instead, i stayed home, ate leftovers, cooked a veggie stir-fry that i couldn't really taste because for some reason, the baby carrots i munched on left a really sour taste in my mouth, started doing some cleaning, spent a little too long on the couch and had some very nice unhurried downtime with sol3 when he came by.
there was a mild panic when he was leaving, as our neighbors moved my bike from the front landing to the basement without any sort of indication - but, since we've found it, i'm mostly over it.

i then watched the second half of secondhand lions and went to bed a bit past my bedtime.

body musings:
when i was growing up, being stick thin and short became a part of my identity.
in the past couple of years, i've gotten an inch taller because yoga unhunched my back a little bit, and i've definitely filled out. i don't think of myself as 'big' in the overall sense, but part of not being stick-thin anymore, even if i'm still normal, is that i feel like i'm much bigger then i should be.
beyond my recent growth wider, it has always been my stomach bulging out a little that caught my gaze in the mirror.

over the past couple of months,i've realized just how tense/anxious i am on a very constant basis, enough so that i think it's a major aspect of my lack of energy/drive.
it didn't take a lot to realize that straightening my back would be a big step in the right direction, and that was the motivation for getting contacts after just dealing with having poor eyesight for the last 10+ years (i wore glasses from 4 to 14). now, i really need to train myself to be in the habit of sitting normally.
in the research i've started doing on relaxation therapy, i came across a page that claimed that poor breathing leads to anxiety, and poor breathing can be caused by bad posture - and that both can be caused by changing the breathing and posture to make your stomach look smaller. huh.
and then today, someone posted in spud's journal with this icon and it made me stop in my tracks. if that was me, i'd feel horrible about having that much tummy, and having it angled/show like that. but this is an icon, which usually says something about how society at large sees it. and i just can't wrap my head around that. does the girl in the icon look 'skinny' or 'normal' to you?

(and yes, i realize that by most standards, i'm still pretty small. the way i see myself is very different from how i see other people. like, i never thought of my mom as being overweight or too big. but i never thought of her as a petite person. and i'm now one inch taller then she is, but about 30-40 pounds lighter.)

(i'm leaving comments enabled because i want to hear what people think - but i really really don't want any comments in the vein of 'you still look good' because that's really not the issue at hand here)


another amusing quirk of mine - when i had really short hair, it made me very self conscious of being vulnerable. now that it's long, i sometimes feel more comfortable when it's in a ponytail. sna?

Comments

[developer.livejournal.com]

I think the girl icon looks pretty 'normal'.

[pir.livejournal.com]

The icon looks fairly slender to me. You're still skinny...

[maighread.livejournal.com]

The icon girl's tummy looks normal to me.

The funny thing about bodies that that what looks like a flat tummy from the front, can look like a "poochy" tummy from the side. It's something about hips & alignment & size (plus throw in ribcage size & thigh size because they are what we use as comparison when we look at belly.


(But then I'd argue about what normal really is. Stick thin can be normal. Curvy can be normal. Normal is what your body becomes when you are eating healthy & getting the appropriate amount of sleep & exercise.)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

It's something about hips & alignment & size (plus throw in ribcage size & thigh size because they are what we use as comparison when we look at belly.

that's where the posture issue comes in - it's possible to realign your posture to make it look smaller, at the cost of restricting your breathing.
it seems like i might've done that without conscious effort at some point in my life, and am having a body-image-hard-time with the idea of undoing it.

[maighread.livejournal.com]

I understand completly. Having developed boobs pretty early AND being one of the taller kids in class in middle school, I learned to hunch. Still working on that before someone assigns me to a bell tower. blergh...

[fidgetmonster.livejournal.com]

natural posture is supposed to ellicit an S shape with your spine - exactly like in the icon. yes, that can make it look like the tummy is curving outward, but because it's normal, it makes it sexy. if your spinal alignment is poor and there is no curve, you can have horrible trouble and pain later on because eventually the damage can't be reversed. This all from a chiropractor. most chiro offices have flyers with images of proper spinal alignment and offer exercises/feedback about improving posture. yes, you'll look skinnier if you sit up straight, but that's not the point.h

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

if your spinal alignment is poor and there is no curve, you can have horrible trouble and pain later on because eventually the damage can't be reversed. This all from a chiropractor. most chiro offices have flyers with images of proper spinal alignment and offer exercises/feedback about improving posture

huh.

i wonder if any chiropractors in the area offer group exercise lessons..

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

That's really interesting. Her belly looks normal to me, but I admit I had to train myself to think of that as normal. (It's unconscious now.) This, even though I've *never* been stick-thin, and I've *always* had a belly.

I'm now trying to unlearn the constant stomach-tensing I do -- I consciously relax my belly every ten minutes or so. It never fails to make me feel better and more relaxed. Also in that vein, I went NUTS and went out at lunch to buy maternity pants. They're no bigger than my old pants through the hips and legs and butt, but they are stretchy all over and they are designed to pooch out at the belly. I can't explain how much more positive I feel about *everything* now.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Side note -- people with good posture usually look comfortable in their bodies and *move* in a more sexy way, to me.

("Good" posture is not "ramrod straight", here, to me.)

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

That's really interesting. Her belly looks normal to me, but I admit I had to train myself to think of that as normal. (It's unconscious now.) This, even though I've *never* been stick-thin, and I've *always* had a belly.

i think a lot of my issues with it comes from the fact that my mom was never stick thin, but had a flat belly until a few years after her second child.

Also in that vein, I went NUTS and went out at lunch to buy maternity pants. They're no bigger than my old pants through the hips and legs and butt, but they are stretchy all over and they are designed to pooch out at the belly. I can't explain how much more positive I feel about *everything* now.

yay nuts, then!

(nowhere near the same magnitude, but i've having the worst cravings to wear skirts lately, and it took a while to realize that it's because my pants are all fitting me tightly now)

[kittypie.livejournal.com]

i agree with the above (esp the bit about the S curve spine! glad someone mentioned that) - but you also need to take into consideration body types: the pear, the apple, etc. i know women who weigh more than me but have flat tummies (while i never have even when i was "skinny" - i carry my fat in the middle). as a result, their hips or thighs are a lot larger...
i think you are obviously stuck in standards that you developed based on your family/culture... and there not necessarily societys standards but your own. time to reprogram ;)

[tisana.livejournal.com]

"that poor breathing leads to anxiety, and poor breathing can be caused by bad posture - and that both can be caused by changing the breathing and posture to make your stomach look smaller"

Huh. That helps to explain that when I was doing sculpting excercises and dance more often (which made my posture better) I was far less anxious. Thank you for giving me yet more reason to start doing crunches again (I already knew it helped posture).

As for the girl, she's got a little bit of a tummy, nothing I'd criticize. It's what most normal-weight women who don't specifically exercise that area look like when they're in a relaxed stance. Granted, if I saw it in the mirror, I'd use it as a chance to make fun of myself, but that's how I motivate.

And yes, much as it might make people scamper to reassure, I understand about how the shape and feel of your body is part of your identity--I grew up feeling solid, lithe and strong, and that confused me when I let things lapse. I got back to that fitness level, and suddenly felt more "me."

[elvendoll.livejournal.com]

And yes, much as it might make people scamper to reassure, I understand about how the shape and feel of your body is part of your identity--I grew up feeling solid, lithe and strong, and that confused me when I let things lapse.

that's definately a big part of it.
the other part is that i don't like passive attention seeking and really don't like the idea of my posts being read that way.

[dilletante.livejournal.com]

the icon looks perfectly normal, possibly skinny, to me. women's bellies are supposed to slope a little bit, leading down to other fun places. at least in my mental image of normal.

[goat.livejournal.com]

Yep! I agree. I even had to look at the picture for a few minutes to even see what might not be skinny about her.

I remember watching Miss America when I was a kid, and being absolutely horrified that the contestants stomachs weren't flat as a washboard. But, having grown up since then...I've realized...damn, that little bit of curve is sexy!

body types

[dancer.livejournal.com]

"does the girl in the icon look 'skinny' or 'normal' to you?"

Skinny, no. Normal, yes. Because that's pretty much what I look like (and most people I'm around), so its average to me.

Now is it popular/supermodel/etc. No. I think that we need to look at bodies in reference to our surroundings. In some circles I'm the small one (and am called skinny) but in others I'm not. Go figure! I'm healthy, happy with myself, so that's all I really care about :)