school of hard knocks?

[elvendoll]

when I learn a lesson the hard way, I tend to do what I can to deal with the hurt, then figure out what the lesson was, and then feel grateful/empowered for having learned it, because in my head, having made the mistake means I needed to learn that lesson the hard way - which in turn changes how I view the experience and makes me somewhat glad to have had it.

how do you feel about learning things the hard way?

Comments

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Usually, in the moment, hurt or ashamed. I prefer to learn things *almost* the hard way, I think -- by near-misses. Lessons learned the hard way are very strong, though.

[nymphochka.livejournal.com]

the way it works with me is in the situation where i'm learning something, i prefer it be the hard way. say, if i left my wallet somewhere, i always do what i can to find it, but always WISH that it won't be found and that way i'll really learn my lesson. somehow, i never really really learn from near-misses.
that said, i think this way of thinking actually makes it harder for me to learn from near-misses or from hard-way because it teaches me to take whatever comes lightly, hard lessons included.
so... yeah. i just don't learn, it seems...

[sol3.livejournal.com]

I feel lots of things about it :)

Lessons learned are always good things - and part of what i try to learn from lessons learned the hard way is also how -not- to learn the next one 'the hard way' . I also try to make sure that I learn the 'right' lesson, if that makes sense. (E.g. someone abusing my trust and hurting me that way doesn't automatically translate into the lesson of "I need to not trust people" - sometimes it's more of a "I need to learn how to better gauge who/what i can trust" or such)

[dot_fennel]

I definitely manage to feel that way about SOME hard lessons learned, though only in the past few years. (I mean, I've only felt it in the past few years. The mistakes I've felt it about extend back much farther.)

But just as often, I feel like I could have done better and can't resist comparing myself to friends who didn't seem to have to screw up in order to learn whatever it was.

[jedi.livejournal.com]

I find it's best not to learn.
It leaves more room for the voices in my head to echo.

[maighread.livejournal.com]

*le sigh*

I'm not sure I learn!

That's too flip, really. I think I often learn thing the hard way. In general, I don't let it get to me. "Eh, c'est la vie." Sometimes, when I'm not in good brain space, or if (hypothetically, of course) there have been a number of "hard learning experiences" right in a row, I can't handle it as well. And when that happens, I find it takes some time before I can really get through the hurt & move on to the learning part.

I'm not sure if learning things the hard way means I remember it better or not....

[nymphochka.livejournal.com]

sometimes it means you just block it out better...

[maighread.livejournal.com]

heh heh - I think you might be correct!

[sweetbaboo.livejournal.com]

I don't mind so much, as long as the hard way happens to someone else (nearby). Very instructive.

[tcb.livejournal.com]

"oh no, not another learning experience.."

lessons learned the hard way are painful.. for me, usually because they involve some form of loss.. be it of a person or a thing or of some quality.. but I do value the learning of it, and hope that it makes me wiser for the next time..