i'm not a happy camper
Dec. 16th, 2000 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendolljust woke up a few minutes ago, and am really hungry.
i asked bill to go out to breakfast with me, because there's not muh breakfast stuff here, but he decided to go back to bed instead.
and right now its making me angry because i hate feel like i've slept through the entire day to begin with, and to be denied something i really want because he wants to go back to sleep is not settling in right now.
i mean, iknow i will get over it soon. but right now i am just angry.
and groggy.
and want to be served yummy food that i didn't cook.
but instead, tea is ready to boil and i will have thesame old breakfast that i've been getting sick of for the past month. and its mostly because i am really weird about breakfast food. i will pick one thing, and have the same thing for breakfast for a month or so. then, i will grow tired of it, bu there's this period in between when i can't figure out what the next thing is going to be yet, so breakfast becomes a drab.
and of course another part of my anger is that the room has ben a mess for way too long now, and i was planning on getting billt ohelp me clean it up today. only i also told him i could take him to visit his mom today on wednesday, and since he's going to be sleeping so late, there's no chance of both happening.
also kind aggravated that the sink is overful.
i haven't really been home since tuesday night - and i washed some dishes before making myself dinner. wednesday night bill & i both ate out, thursday night tobi & i grabbed dinner at the mall, and last night all i had time/energy for was a cup of tea with a cheese sandwich - and i've been using hte same cup & paper plate all week.
i haven't been here enough to even know whose dishes they are!
and its this internal conflict of knowing they're not mine & not wanting to have anything to do with them, knowing that bitching about them without having done any would be on the sucky side, and still not wanting to have anything to do with them.
: /
also kinda wondering where brian & adam are... not that i am surprised that they were gone when we wokeup, but kinda surprised that tere was no note & neither of them are online right now...
so yeah.. the party last night...
for the most part, it was a really good party : )
hindsight tells me i shouldn't have counted on having a meal there, as there was barely any vegetarian stuff & i being hungry was putting a damper on my mood, but shit happens.
i got to see a lot of people, and did have a bunch of fun...
unfortunately, when the unfortunate incident happened, i gave myself an ulcer attack worrying about tobi. i hate it when my body gives me physical pain for stress. soud gave me some tummy pills, and that helped out for a while, but by the time i got home, it was hurting again. luckily for me, i was so exhausted that the pain was really dulled my body trying to shut down.
overall, i still say that it was a good time, really good to see some of the peple that were there, and left me wishing there had been more time to spend with some of the people i saw...
then again, by the time i finsihed straightening out the kitchen & came out ot the living room, there were a lot more poeple there then i expected to see, but somehow i wasjust no getting into the conversation or feeling too comfortable thre, so i just went home though i think a lot of that had to do with how tired i was, too...
its funny... in my head, the good time is the status quo, and all the deviations fromt hat is what fll my memories. and in my head, i know i still had a very good time, but i feel the need to put in that i had a good time before saying anything else because i know if i try to get the things in my head out as is, it will seem like i didn't have time & am just complaining, while really its more like a list of things that are in my head that i will need to sort out once my head is less fuzzy.
and another thing on my mind is the way bill & interact in social situations. it seems to me that its been ages since we went somewhere as a couple. it seems like any time we goout, its more like us being at the same place at the same time. we kiss & hug when we bump into each other - but its rarely more then bumping into each other throughout the event. and its nothing bad - we both enjoy getting to send time with other people.. i just find it a little unsettling that its been so long since we've been somewhere as a couple...
blah.
so bill has now gotten up again & migrated ot the living room. he's not feeling well, but claims its not a hangover. i think he's in denial, but either way, he's not feeling well & knowing him, prolly won't be better for another few hours.
i have no clue what i am going to do.
the prospect of staying here for this time on my own sounds less then fun... though really i just need to wake up and clean, i guess.
i asked bill to go out to breakfast with me, because there's not muh breakfast stuff here, but he decided to go back to bed instead.
and right now its making me angry because i hate feel like i've slept through the entire day to begin with, and to be denied something i really want because he wants to go back to sleep is not settling in right now.
i mean, iknow i will get over it soon. but right now i am just angry.
and groggy.
and want to be served yummy food that i didn't cook.
but instead, tea is ready to boil and i will have thesame old breakfast that i've been getting sick of for the past month. and its mostly because i am really weird about breakfast food. i will pick one thing, and have the same thing for breakfast for a month or so. then, i will grow tired of it, bu there's this period in between when i can't figure out what the next thing is going to be yet, so breakfast becomes a drab.
and of course another part of my anger is that the room has ben a mess for way too long now, and i was planning on getting billt ohelp me clean it up today. only i also told him i could take him to visit his mom today on wednesday, and since he's going to be sleeping so late, there's no chance of both happening.
also kind aggravated that the sink is overful.
i haven't really been home since tuesday night - and i washed some dishes before making myself dinner. wednesday night bill & i both ate out, thursday night tobi & i grabbed dinner at the mall, and last night all i had time/energy for was a cup of tea with a cheese sandwich - and i've been using hte same cup & paper plate all week.
i haven't been here enough to even know whose dishes they are!
and its this internal conflict of knowing they're not mine & not wanting to have anything to do with them, knowing that bitching about them without having done any would be on the sucky side, and still not wanting to have anything to do with them.
: /
also kinda wondering where brian & adam are... not that i am surprised that they were gone when we wokeup, but kinda surprised that tere was no note & neither of them are online right now...
so yeah.. the party last night...
for the most part, it was a really good party : )
hindsight tells me i shouldn't have counted on having a meal there, as there was barely any vegetarian stuff & i being hungry was putting a damper on my mood, but shit happens.
i got to see a lot of people, and did have a bunch of fun...
unfortunately, when the unfortunate incident happened, i gave myself an ulcer attack worrying about tobi. i hate it when my body gives me physical pain for stress. soud gave me some tummy pills, and that helped out for a while, but by the time i got home, it was hurting again. luckily for me, i was so exhausted that the pain was really dulled my body trying to shut down.
overall, i still say that it was a good time, really good to see some of the peple that were there, and left me wishing there had been more time to spend with some of the people i saw...
then again, by the time i finsihed straightening out the kitchen & came out ot the living room, there were a lot more poeple there then i expected to see, but somehow i wasjust no getting into the conversation or feeling too comfortable thre, so i just went home though i think a lot of that had to do with how tired i was, too...
its funny... in my head, the good time is the status quo, and all the deviations fromt hat is what fll my memories. and in my head, i know i still had a very good time, but i feel the need to put in that i had a good time before saying anything else because i know if i try to get the things in my head out as is, it will seem like i didn't have time & am just complaining, while really its more like a list of things that are in my head that i will need to sort out once my head is less fuzzy.
and another thing on my mind is the way bill & interact in social situations. it seems to me that its been ages since we went somewhere as a couple. it seems like any time we goout, its more like us being at the same place at the same time. we kiss & hug when we bump into each other - but its rarely more then bumping into each other throughout the event. and its nothing bad - we both enjoy getting to send time with other people.. i just find it a little unsettling that its been so long since we've been somewhere as a couple...
blah.
so bill has now gotten up again & migrated ot the living room. he's not feeling well, but claims its not a hangover. i think he's in denial, but either way, he's not feeling well & knowing him, prolly won't be better for another few hours.
i have no clue what i am going to do.
the prospect of staying here for this time on my own sounds less then fun... though really i just need to wake up and clean, i guess.
