home sweet home?
Dec. 22nd, 2000 11:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollthe drive here was pretty hellatious. the first 2 hours i was okay, i was with it, i was enjoying my time alone. by twwo and a half hours into the trip, i just wanted it to be over.
it was half hour of clear sailing, 15 mins stop & go, and then all over again fro pretty much the whole drive.
humans are pack animals to a disgusting level. time and time again, i find that moderate traffic is groups of cars, travelling much slower then needed, with a half mile between them. its like i pull up, and it seems like a sea of red in front of me. i do my best to weave through it with minimum harrasment & danger, and am rewarded with a half mile to a mile of absolutely clear road, and then hit the next pack. WTF?! why can't people in the left lan keep a steady lead ont hose in the right lane? why do people not move into a lane over to the right once they're going the same speed as that lane, or if its empty? why do people start chain-breaking for no reason?
*sigh*
also had some interesting food for thought given to me by a truck, but i think i should write about that when i am less likely, as that train of thought needs background info.
overall, it took me about four and a half hours to get here - an hour longer then the ideal commute, but not in the horrible range.
left me pretty damn drained though...
first getting in here is always like jumping into the deep end of a cold pool, too. the relatives rush up, most of them wanting attention in some mystical order, with my grandmother standing close enough to chastise me whenever i don't give someone enough attention.
meanwhile, all i want to do is grab abi and go sit down somewhere. she's the only person i can deal with when i first get in - they all know i am exhasuted, and 'excuse' it, but it doesn't cross their minds to leave off pouncing on me.
and i'm actually not as bitter as it sounds - its just a bit overwhelming for the state i am usually in.
they're also watching me & debbie really closely.
debbie seems to think that o hate her, and shows all kinds of signs of being hurt by it, and loving me.
i understand that a lot of that is my fault. i have had little more then an ounce of patience for her throughout her life. but i am trying now. and she's been much better the past couple of months, and i haven't been snapping at her, so i think its kind of unfair to still be after me for something that doesn't happen anymore, or for them not to acknowledge that things are better.
heh.
color me high school kid?
thinking about what i said before, i guess it could come out as a 'woe is me' rant... funny, cuz i don't mean it like that. i'm not really upset by this, its just the thoughts going through my head. writing them down helps me organize them & come to better conclusions.
and i am fully aware that my family wants the best for both of us. i guess i just think, from a half amused point of view, that their tactics are somewhat self-defeating. cuz one of the reasons i kept snapping at debbie is the way she nagged. she stops nagging me, and they start...
speaking of family wanting the best for me, my stepdad's family seems to be all too happy i am working instead of going to school. and on the one hand i find it toally insulting - ever since they got blood-grandchildren, they have made it clear that they resent how much money my stepdad spends on me. but on the other, i was relieved not to hear any shit about them being disapointed, etc.
everything is a mixed blessing, huh?
and as for the highlight of my day, seeing abi was great : )
i was a little disapointed she didn't have an extreme reaction to me again, but she's definately older now, and was in a cranky mood besides. i wonder how she would have reacted if i had gotten there earlier on in the day.
in any case, within 10 mins she accepted me as close family again, smiled at me with her big grey eyes, and everything was ok.
i think she's just an adorable little kid.
also got to unwrap my camera : )
i like it!
i am too tired to have played with it as much as i thought i would. i took a few test pictures, deleted them. the laptop hasn't been set up properly yet anyways, and lean is being a bitch about not having me set it up tonight (he's religious enough to not want to 'encourage' me to use powered stuff on a sabath), so its a very good thing i was too tired to want to go through with it. there was enough frustration during an agrument about whether abi should be switched from lefty to righty.
well, i think its time to go to bed for now.
i really had meant to write more, but i will fall asleep right here if i try to. stuff isn't coming out as well as it should anyways.
i was kinda hoping i'd hear from bill, but c'est la vie. i'll just have to kill kevin for being a bad messenger *smirk*
it was half hour of clear sailing, 15 mins stop & go, and then all over again fro pretty much the whole drive.
humans are pack animals to a disgusting level. time and time again, i find that moderate traffic is groups of cars, travelling much slower then needed, with a half mile between them. its like i pull up, and it seems like a sea of red in front of me. i do my best to weave through it with minimum harrasment & danger, and am rewarded with a half mile to a mile of absolutely clear road, and then hit the next pack. WTF?! why can't people in the left lan keep a steady lead ont hose in the right lane? why do people not move into a lane over to the right once they're going the same speed as that lane, or if its empty? why do people start chain-breaking for no reason?
*sigh*
also had some interesting food for thought given to me by a truck, but i think i should write about that when i am less likely, as that train of thought needs background info.
overall, it took me about four and a half hours to get here - an hour longer then the ideal commute, but not in the horrible range.
left me pretty damn drained though...
first getting in here is always like jumping into the deep end of a cold pool, too. the relatives rush up, most of them wanting attention in some mystical order, with my grandmother standing close enough to chastise me whenever i don't give someone enough attention.
meanwhile, all i want to do is grab abi and go sit down somewhere. she's the only person i can deal with when i first get in - they all know i am exhasuted, and 'excuse' it, but it doesn't cross their minds to leave off pouncing on me.
and i'm actually not as bitter as it sounds - its just a bit overwhelming for the state i am usually in.
they're also watching me & debbie really closely.
debbie seems to think that o hate her, and shows all kinds of signs of being hurt by it, and loving me.
i understand that a lot of that is my fault. i have had little more then an ounce of patience for her throughout her life. but i am trying now. and she's been much better the past couple of months, and i haven't been snapping at her, so i think its kind of unfair to still be after me for something that doesn't happen anymore, or for them not to acknowledge that things are better.
heh.
color me high school kid?
thinking about what i said before, i guess it could come out as a 'woe is me' rant... funny, cuz i don't mean it like that. i'm not really upset by this, its just the thoughts going through my head. writing them down helps me organize them & come to better conclusions.
and i am fully aware that my family wants the best for both of us. i guess i just think, from a half amused point of view, that their tactics are somewhat self-defeating. cuz one of the reasons i kept snapping at debbie is the way she nagged. she stops nagging me, and they start...
speaking of family wanting the best for me, my stepdad's family seems to be all too happy i am working instead of going to school. and on the one hand i find it toally insulting - ever since they got blood-grandchildren, they have made it clear that they resent how much money my stepdad spends on me. but on the other, i was relieved not to hear any shit about them being disapointed, etc.
everything is a mixed blessing, huh?
and as for the highlight of my day, seeing abi was great : )
i was a little disapointed she didn't have an extreme reaction to me again, but she's definately older now, and was in a cranky mood besides. i wonder how she would have reacted if i had gotten there earlier on in the day.
in any case, within 10 mins she accepted me as close family again, smiled at me with her big grey eyes, and everything was ok.
i think she's just an adorable little kid.
also got to unwrap my camera : )
i like it!
i am too tired to have played with it as much as i thought i would. i took a few test pictures, deleted them. the laptop hasn't been set up properly yet anyways, and lean is being a bitch about not having me set it up tonight (he's religious enough to not want to 'encourage' me to use powered stuff on a sabath), so its a very good thing i was too tired to want to go through with it. there was enough frustration during an agrument about whether abi should be switched from lefty to righty.
well, i think its time to go to bed for now.
i really had meant to write more, but i will fall asleep right here if i try to. stuff isn't coming out as well as it should anyways.
i was kinda hoping i'd hear from bill, but c'est la vie. i'll just have to kill kevin for being a bad messenger *smirk*
