this entry may take a while to write...
Jan. 9th, 2001 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendoll...there's been a bunch of stuff that i've been wanting to just wrote down... its not necesarily saying much, just writing down the stuff thats been whizzing through my head lately, its just that work is semi-busy today, so it prolly won't be a cohesive entry.
speaking of work, its getting to me today.
i think a part of it is being caused by the inaptitude i see in the only other tech whose phone calls i can actually hear.. although he's also the one bugging me with questions, and thats been getting annoying, too... and then some lady called as i was just getting to her email because i had like 5 in my box and hadn't gotten to it yet *sigh* but i just had this realization that nothing is as urgent as i am taking it to be.
so yeah...
its still snowing out... considering the hills this place is on, i kinda wish i was like spud & had a sled in my car! that would just make the day, i think... : )
but c'est la vie... without one, to be fully honest here, i doubt i'll even stick my nose out there...
so i slept a lot yesterday. i kinda knew id' be taking a nap when i got home, but i really didn't think i owuld be totally zonked out for 5 hours... its like i remember stuff going on around me & not being able to pull myself out of the sleep enough to actually register it & wake up.
thats also a reason i haven't joined the YMCA yet. i was planning on joinging at the beginning of the month, and shoot for going twice a week, and then see if i can keep it once classes start up, but now my doubts are furthering. if i am coming home that unable to function, that kinda puts a stump in being able to go and work out. ont op of that, i was hoping to get someone else to join with me so i actually go, and noone wants to do that, and i realized that a one month membership costs almost twice as much as a 6 month one per month, and there's no way i want to sign up for 6 months right off the bat.
*sigh*
this morning i was listening to my 'mostly 80's' mp3 list, and 'glory days' is in there. and i started thinking back to some of the happier moments in my life... to realize that thats just what they were - moments, not days... because overall, pretty much throughout my life, i haven't been what you'd call a 'happy' person, so there's moments of happiness that stand out as i look back through stuff, but no actual happy periods. makes me ownder if thats normal at all...
somehting else that i noticed is that just about all my happy moments are outdoors.. mostly in the spring & summer days of when i was a little kid, but also wondering through new york while i was in igh school, the trip through canada that i took after my senior year... makes me realize that no matter how bland-comfy it may to be snuggled in inside like i usually am, its being out & about tromping outside that actually makes me happy. that probably means that i should try and plan more outdoor excursions into my days, and try braving that damn cold out there once in a while...
also saw 8mm again the other day, and something fromt he movie really made me wonder... it was at the very end, where the mom tells the guy that what he did is ok because they were probably the only ones that cared about her dead daughter.
and it made me wonder what would happen if i were to run away. who would still care, and who would write it off as me being stupid & move on? also made me question the concept of 'running away'... supposedly, i am on my own now. running away is something only kids living with their parents can do. then, you leave their house, their things, and run. running away for an adult is like an oxymoron, but why doesn't it seem like it sometimes? why is it still tempting? oddness in my head...
and i think i am done rambling for now... its been long enough
speaking of work, its getting to me today.
i think a part of it is being caused by the inaptitude i see in the only other tech whose phone calls i can actually hear.. although he's also the one bugging me with questions, and thats been getting annoying, too... and then some lady called as i was just getting to her email because i had like 5 in my box and hadn't gotten to it yet *sigh* but i just had this realization that nothing is as urgent as i am taking it to be.
so yeah...
its still snowing out... considering the hills this place is on, i kinda wish i was like spud & had a sled in my car! that would just make the day, i think... : )
but c'est la vie... without one, to be fully honest here, i doubt i'll even stick my nose out there...
so i slept a lot yesterday. i kinda knew id' be taking a nap when i got home, but i really didn't think i owuld be totally zonked out for 5 hours... its like i remember stuff going on around me & not being able to pull myself out of the sleep enough to actually register it & wake up.
thats also a reason i haven't joined the YMCA yet. i was planning on joinging at the beginning of the month, and shoot for going twice a week, and then see if i can keep it once classes start up, but now my doubts are furthering. if i am coming home that unable to function, that kinda puts a stump in being able to go and work out. ont op of that, i was hoping to get someone else to join with me so i actually go, and noone wants to do that, and i realized that a one month membership costs almost twice as much as a 6 month one per month, and there's no way i want to sign up for 6 months right off the bat.
*sigh*
this morning i was listening to my 'mostly 80's' mp3 list, and 'glory days' is in there. and i started thinking back to some of the happier moments in my life... to realize that thats just what they were - moments, not days... because overall, pretty much throughout my life, i haven't been what you'd call a 'happy' person, so there's moments of happiness that stand out as i look back through stuff, but no actual happy periods. makes me ownder if thats normal at all...
somehting else that i noticed is that just about all my happy moments are outdoors.. mostly in the spring & summer days of when i was a little kid, but also wondering through new york while i was in igh school, the trip through canada that i took after my senior year... makes me realize that no matter how bland-comfy it may to be snuggled in inside like i usually am, its being out & about tromping outside that actually makes me happy. that probably means that i should try and plan more outdoor excursions into my days, and try braving that damn cold out there once in a while...
also saw 8mm again the other day, and something fromt he movie really made me wonder... it was at the very end, where the mom tells the guy that what he did is ok because they were probably the only ones that cared about her dead daughter.
and it made me wonder what would happen if i were to run away. who would still care, and who would write it off as me being stupid & move on? also made me question the concept of 'running away'... supposedly, i am on my own now. running away is something only kids living with their parents can do. then, you leave their house, their things, and run. running away for an adult is like an oxymoron, but why doesn't it seem like it sometimes? why is it still tempting? oddness in my head...
and i think i am done rambling for now... its been long enough
