sometimes, the days all melt into one...
Jan. 26th, 2001 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollthe thought that tomorrow is fiday seems so surreal right now!
and i wish i could say that i am looking forward to it... but... friday night is usually a night for bill & i to spend time together, do something that breaks the daily routine like going out to dinner & then doing somethig, usually... only now i am so broke & so stressed about money stuff that the mere thought of going out to dinner stresses me; while considering staying home sounds unpleasant, too : (
and the bottom line is that its all so unfair to bill. its my control issues. my inability to deal with change. my trust issues. only in the end, it all gets taken out on him.
but at the same time, there's just enough passive anger at him for me to be able to justify my actions to myself when upset. i so wish his resume would be done already. i would feel so much better if he could start sending it out, etc. and i know thats not going to happen tomorrow, either, because i am giving him my car for the day so he can do the maintaenance stuff on it that really need to be done & that i don't have the time/energy to do these days. *sigh*
so after about an hour afk, i am back, and in a slightly better mood... though with kinda not so good news... looks like there's some wort of pipe leaking into the rear end of this room :/ we woke up the landlord, who took a look at it & said there's nothing he can do now, and it looks like bill maybe helping him fix it up tomorrow...
blah. i'm feeling on the crappy side, health-wise, right now. in the last few days, my cough has gotten worse, i've had a sore throat more often then normal, and my nose has been leaking more. definately time to bite my lip and see a doctor - i just gotta &^%$ find one! *raar* having one of those moments when i wish my mommy was there to take care of me...
but i should prolly just get to bed...
and i wish i could say that i am looking forward to it... but... friday night is usually a night for bill & i to spend time together, do something that breaks the daily routine like going out to dinner & then doing somethig, usually... only now i am so broke & so stressed about money stuff that the mere thought of going out to dinner stresses me; while considering staying home sounds unpleasant, too : (
and the bottom line is that its all so unfair to bill. its my control issues. my inability to deal with change. my trust issues. only in the end, it all gets taken out on him.
but at the same time, there's just enough passive anger at him for me to be able to justify my actions to myself when upset. i so wish his resume would be done already. i would feel so much better if he could start sending it out, etc. and i know thats not going to happen tomorrow, either, because i am giving him my car for the day so he can do the maintaenance stuff on it that really need to be done & that i don't have the time/energy to do these days. *sigh*
so after about an hour afk, i am back, and in a slightly better mood... though with kinda not so good news... looks like there's some wort of pipe leaking into the rear end of this room :/ we woke up the landlord, who took a look at it & said there's nothing he can do now, and it looks like bill maybe helping him fix it up tomorrow...
blah. i'm feeling on the crappy side, health-wise, right now. in the last few days, my cough has gotten worse, i've had a sore throat more often then normal, and my nose has been leaking more. definately time to bite my lip and see a doctor - i just gotta &^%$ find one! *raar* having one of those moments when i wish my mommy was there to take care of me...
but i should prolly just get to bed...
