i'm still tired...

[elvendoll]

... but am going ot go to 80's night tonight!

bill got voted out on the outing at uno's earlier in the hour, and now i am trying to not prematurely stress about what to wear : )
and the margarita chrispie got me is helping with that - being midly buzzed is just a good thing in my book : )
i ended up not doing any schoolwork today, unlike what i had hoped, but i guess thats to be expected on a dat after having gone to bed at nearly 5am the night before and having guests in the house...
and i think after tomorrow i will be happy to have a low-key house for a while... now if only there was a way go get the roomies to cooperate : )
...thats just odd with bill living here... i constantly have to keep reminding myself that the different boundaries i have as a girlfriend don't cross over to the territories of being roomates.
and of course it owuldn't be nearly as big a problem for me if i wasn't the bitch of the household... but its almost like i am obligated to keep an eye out to make sure the house stays clean and make sure everyone does their little part... and when the house is messy, and people are slacking, i just feel so at fault, and i don't even know how much of that is self-fulfilling prophecy and how much is me projecting my own expectations to others, how much is just in my head and how much is real...
i guess the reason i'm spewing all this now is because there have been dishes int he sink since the bbq on monday. and i wasn't a part of that... so i was trying to get max & bill to do the dishes.. and then i decided to stop nagging...
and a week later scuba is disgruntled because he just did them.
and i feel like its my fault somehow.
and yes, there was some silverware & one pot in there that was mine... so i do realize that if i practiced what i preached i should have just done the dishes... and i did actually have that on my mental to-do list this week, but things kept coming up... so scuba ended up doing them... and thats just sucky : (
*sigh*
the other thing on my mind is kristen's journal entry...
she rather vaguely threw in there that she was aggravated with me about house stuff.
she said that she didn't talk to me about it because she was close to moving out... and there were issues that i had with her as a roommate that i never brought up either for the same reason... but i guess in my book, choosing not to bring up something to the person therefore makes the issue null and void as far as putting it up on a public forum...
so i was just irked by that as there's just nothing that can be done now and its all past, and its rather upsetting that she is blaming me for things i may have done without having expressed how she felt & gotten where i was coming from... i mean it was pretty obvious that noone was overly happy with the way the arrangement worked out, but chose to let it ride out and pass...
but oh well... life just gets to suck sometimes...
and of course this is just another thing that makes me really reevaluate where i stand in this house. i really don't like feeling like i'm in the 'mommy' role, but i also realized that its my fault that thats where i seem to be... and i just don't know how to fix the situation *stomp*
:;trying to refocus::
but 80's night should be fun!
i'm thinking of maybe wearing a floaty skirt and defintely low-heeled shoes so that i don't have any problems dancing : )
well, time to go get ready now...