*whine* but i wanna write!
Jan. 30th, 2001 02:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollbut its super late again, i've had one hell of a dya, and i've had one long entry die on me this morning
but i feel more alive right now then i have in a couple of months, i think. and i'm also doing much better at not being a bitch (IMHO), which probably has a lot to do with my previous statement.
and this has definately been a weekend.
friday night was spent in nashua... i had a good time having dinner with bill & brian, and wish i culd have functioned for more of the evening... unfortunately my body had said no and wouldn't let me argue... on the grand scheme of things, though, much worse things happen...
saturday had a shaky start. i did not sleep well during the hours that i spept, and we ended up oversleeping getting to the flea at any kind of decent hour. even when i woke up at 2:30, it was hard to motivate both myself and bill to get out of bed and go. when we got there, i'd had like 4 sips of coffee and 2 bites of a donut. i was just not awake. and i wish i had dealt better with the situations that arose during those first couple of hours. i ended up haing to look for bill for like 40 minutes at one point, and during that time, let the crowd really get to me. to chill out, i thought getting a drink & chilling out at the bar area would be a good idea, but when bill told a random couple they could sit with us, i nearly flipped my lid. i totally understood where he was coming from, but considering i had been wanting to just take some space, it was the last thing i needed. this caused a squabble between me & bill, andi had decided it'd be best to go and find some space without him. luckily, i caught becky just as she was leaving her room, and was allowed to chill in there for a while - i must've spent like a half an hour in there telling myself to chill out and not be a bitch...
luckliy, it seemed to work though : )
when i then found bill, we hugged in reconciliation, and decided to find people to get food with rather then just going home... of course, that was quite the adventure in & of itself : ) after the dinner group got organized, it took around 2 hours to actualy leave the hotel... and then i found myself in the only chinese restaurant i'd ever been to that does not have a 'vegetables/vegetarian' portion of the menu. hell, they didn't eve have veggie fried rice! its funny, too, because i don't like making a big deal out of being a vegetarian when going out to eat. just about any place outside of quebec city (where i could not find anything other then dessert crepes!!) will have something i can eat, and i do prefer to grin & bear eating something i might not go out of my way for to whining about needing a special diet. only for some reason, whenver we go out to eat with ken & heather, one way or another, i am left scrambling for something to eat. the fact that when we're with them we also leave much later then planned, thus leaving me much hungrier (and therefore upping the bitchy scale) doesn't help much either. but its like such the pain int he ass because i know i annoy them a bit as it is, and by now it seems like any menu-related comment is taken as a complaint, even if its meant just as an observation. i mean its not really a big deal or anything... i know i annoy ken & he deals with it by subtly antagonizing me, and i come prepared for his subtle antagonizing & deal, so it all works out.. its just this trend that i see happening that i find odd. and this weekend seemed to have minimal annoyance/antagonizing anyways, so it was all good.
after dinner we went back to the hotel, and after quite a bit of deliberation (bill had a headache that kept coming & going) decided to stay for the ball... the amusing portion for me was modifying my outfit... i came there in my checkered bodysuit, ripped blue jeans & docs - not exactly ball wear. then i remembered that i still have my 4" stilletos in the trunk, and asked bill to get them, & see if he can find any suitable clothing in the car. he ended up finding a long velvet skirt.. and that ended up getting hacked... much shorter then i had planned, too! the ball itself was on the sucky dise... both bill & i spent the majority of it hanging out in ken's room with the people there with him & the random people wandering in and out.. and it was really all good - i enjoyed just chilling & hanging out with the people.
we ended up not getting home till close to 4am, and having a rough time getting up in the morning, again. this time we didn't even make it to the flea before it closed! but, we did get to go swimming at the hotel, and thats all that matters : ) i rally liked the way their pool area/jacuzzi was set up - just wish the pool was a little bigger : ) also relerned a valuable lesson - water tricks in a strapless bathing suit is not the best idea!
but, between that, dinner, and stopping by tobi's for a bit, i didn't get home till way too late!
needless to say, it took me a bit to wake up at work today! i really need to start testing my ulcer's caffiene levels again..
after work, i had my frist class. the good news is that i go into it (i was on the waiting list). the bad news is that i couldn't keep awake through it! i felt so incredibly bad, but the professor wasn't all too interesting to listen to, and my body just wasn't giving me much of a choice : / sitting in there, i was even worried about being able to drive home! as to general reactions to the clas... well, it didn't exactly meet my expecations, but then those were quite shaken by seeing class blurbon the department page anyways - something about a satire class without oscar wilde on the syllabus, but maybe thats just me. but, it shouldn't be bad, and it does fill the one requirement i have left. i just really need to get at least an A- or more in it to not have to take another english class before applying for the honors stuff.
and i did end up waking up a bit . which is prolly a good thing as lyzz & morph were over here when i got home, and i am really glad i was conscious & together enough to enjoy their company : )
so yeah, thats pretty much my life in a nutshell right now..
oh.. wait! can't foget to talk about the goodies!!!
i got myself a really cute pair of spiraled red glitter horns from heather & a spikey bondage cuff from nick - and learned a very valuable lesson - my neck is small enough to wear cuffs as chockers! i actually got given another pair of platic blacklight senstive cuffs just because the vendor was amused that i can fit one around my neck and 2 around my waist : )
i really did wish i had a sugar daddy while wondering around the flea - so much stuff i wish i had the money for!!
& heehee : )
i am actually quite happy i finally got to update : )
the entry i wrote this morning had a lot more detail, but i think i'm in a better mood now, and that kind of thing alwaus affects the tone of my entries, so i guess some shit does happen for a reason. i just shudder to think how hard its going to be getting up in 5 hours *twitch*
and yeah, there is other stuff going on in my head.. but i don't think its been proccessed enough to go in here yet. hopefully, though, i'm going to get back into updating daily - when i don't update, it means that my day goes by so quicly/busily that i don't have tie to sit back and reflect on it, as thats what goes in here, and as much as i am enjoying being more social and un-bitchy lately, i don't want to go till i crash...
heh - another (small) tangent - i am so looking forward to the spring its ridiculous! its like 2 months away, and every day i get thoughts of babygreen leaves, warm sun and playing outdoors - makes me wish i could just take off for cali right now.
*raar* and speaking of cali - i keep neglecting to call kira : /
i feel so shitty for it :/ i've been so busy without really getting too much done... but i've also noticed that now that we don't have a cordless phone, my desire to talk on the phone had nearly nullified - its like i am too much of a control freak to commit to eing restarined by the phone cord for the length of a conversation... and while my LD bills have really gone down, its not about the money, and i hate knowing i'm being a shitty friend : /
blah.
but bedtime...
really this time : )
but i feel more alive right now then i have in a couple of months, i think. and i'm also doing much better at not being a bitch (IMHO), which probably has a lot to do with my previous statement.
and this has definately been a weekend.
friday night was spent in nashua... i had a good time having dinner with bill & brian, and wish i culd have functioned for more of the evening... unfortunately my body had said no and wouldn't let me argue... on the grand scheme of things, though, much worse things happen...
saturday had a shaky start. i did not sleep well during the hours that i spept, and we ended up oversleeping getting to the flea at any kind of decent hour. even when i woke up at 2:30, it was hard to motivate both myself and bill to get out of bed and go. when we got there, i'd had like 4 sips of coffee and 2 bites of a donut. i was just not awake. and i wish i had dealt better with the situations that arose during those first couple of hours. i ended up haing to look for bill for like 40 minutes at one point, and during that time, let the crowd really get to me. to chill out, i thought getting a drink & chilling out at the bar area would be a good idea, but when bill told a random couple they could sit with us, i nearly flipped my lid. i totally understood where he was coming from, but considering i had been wanting to just take some space, it was the last thing i needed. this caused a squabble between me & bill, andi had decided it'd be best to go and find some space without him. luckily, i caught becky just as she was leaving her room, and was allowed to chill in there for a while - i must've spent like a half an hour in there telling myself to chill out and not be a bitch...
luckliy, it seemed to work though : )
when i then found bill, we hugged in reconciliation, and decided to find people to get food with rather then just going home... of course, that was quite the adventure in & of itself : ) after the dinner group got organized, it took around 2 hours to actualy leave the hotel... and then i found myself in the only chinese restaurant i'd ever been to that does not have a 'vegetables/vegetarian' portion of the menu. hell, they didn't eve have veggie fried rice! its funny, too, because i don't like making a big deal out of being a vegetarian when going out to eat. just about any place outside of quebec city (where i could not find anything other then dessert crepes!!) will have something i can eat, and i do prefer to grin & bear eating something i might not go out of my way for to whining about needing a special diet. only for some reason, whenver we go out to eat with ken & heather, one way or another, i am left scrambling for something to eat. the fact that when we're with them we also leave much later then planned, thus leaving me much hungrier (and therefore upping the bitchy scale) doesn't help much either. but its like such the pain int he ass because i know i annoy them a bit as it is, and by now it seems like any menu-related comment is taken as a complaint, even if its meant just as an observation. i mean its not really a big deal or anything... i know i annoy ken & he deals with it by subtly antagonizing me, and i come prepared for his subtle antagonizing & deal, so it all works out.. its just this trend that i see happening that i find odd. and this weekend seemed to have minimal annoyance/antagonizing anyways, so it was all good.
after dinner we went back to the hotel, and after quite a bit of deliberation (bill had a headache that kept coming & going) decided to stay for the ball... the amusing portion for me was modifying my outfit... i came there in my checkered bodysuit, ripped blue jeans & docs - not exactly ball wear. then i remembered that i still have my 4" stilletos in the trunk, and asked bill to get them, & see if he can find any suitable clothing in the car. he ended up finding a long velvet skirt.. and that ended up getting hacked... much shorter then i had planned, too! the ball itself was on the sucky dise... both bill & i spent the majority of it hanging out in ken's room with the people there with him & the random people wandering in and out.. and it was really all good - i enjoyed just chilling & hanging out with the people.
we ended up not getting home till close to 4am, and having a rough time getting up in the morning, again. this time we didn't even make it to the flea before it closed! but, we did get to go swimming at the hotel, and thats all that matters : ) i rally liked the way their pool area/jacuzzi was set up - just wish the pool was a little bigger : ) also relerned a valuable lesson - water tricks in a strapless bathing suit is not the best idea!
but, between that, dinner, and stopping by tobi's for a bit, i didn't get home till way too late!
needless to say, it took me a bit to wake up at work today! i really need to start testing my ulcer's caffiene levels again..
after work, i had my frist class. the good news is that i go into it (i was on the waiting list). the bad news is that i couldn't keep awake through it! i felt so incredibly bad, but the professor wasn't all too interesting to listen to, and my body just wasn't giving me much of a choice : / sitting in there, i was even worried about being able to drive home! as to general reactions to the clas... well, it didn't exactly meet my expecations, but then those were quite shaken by seeing class blurbon the department page anyways - something about a satire class without oscar wilde on the syllabus, but maybe thats just me. but, it shouldn't be bad, and it does fill the one requirement i have left. i just really need to get at least an A- or more in it to not have to take another english class before applying for the honors stuff.
and i did end up waking up a bit . which is prolly a good thing as lyzz & morph were over here when i got home, and i am really glad i was conscious & together enough to enjoy their company : )
so yeah, thats pretty much my life in a nutshell right now..
oh.. wait! can't foget to talk about the goodies!!!
i got myself a really cute pair of spiraled red glitter horns from heather & a spikey bondage cuff from nick - and learned a very valuable lesson - my neck is small enough to wear cuffs as chockers! i actually got given another pair of platic blacklight senstive cuffs just because the vendor was amused that i can fit one around my neck and 2 around my waist : )
i really did wish i had a sugar daddy while wondering around the flea - so much stuff i wish i had the money for!!
& heehee : )
i am actually quite happy i finally got to update : )
the entry i wrote this morning had a lot more detail, but i think i'm in a better mood now, and that kind of thing alwaus affects the tone of my entries, so i guess some shit does happen for a reason. i just shudder to think how hard its going to be getting up in 5 hours *twitch*
and yeah, there is other stuff going on in my head.. but i don't think its been proccessed enough to go in here yet. hopefully, though, i'm going to get back into updating daily - when i don't update, it means that my day goes by so quicly/busily that i don't have tie to sit back and reflect on it, as thats what goes in here, and as much as i am enjoying being more social and un-bitchy lately, i don't want to go till i crash...
heh - another (small) tangent - i am so looking forward to the spring its ridiculous! its like 2 months away, and every day i get thoughts of babygreen leaves, warm sun and playing outdoors - makes me wish i could just take off for cali right now.
*raar* and speaking of cali - i keep neglecting to call kira : /
i feel so shitty for it :/ i've been so busy without really getting too much done... but i've also noticed that now that we don't have a cordless phone, my desire to talk on the phone had nearly nullified - its like i am too much of a control freak to commit to eing restarined by the phone cord for the length of a conversation... and while my LD bills have really gone down, its not about the money, and i hate knowing i'm being a shitty friend : /
blah.
but bedtime...
really this time : )
