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elvendolli am so sleepy...
i've resisted passing out for the majority of the evening : (
right now all that's keeping me up is the prospect of having a cup of tea... and then warm blankies, here i come...
today has been an odd day.
it started off okay, and then something pissed me off. i pretty much dealt, but it was almost like a vital wind was knocked out of me - i kept making really really really dumb mistakes. and i could tell that i was fucking up, but was somehow incapable of fixing it on my own. not happy about that at all, though i am trying not think about it too much, and take comfort that it was all fixed quickly.
the drive home was somewhat gruesome, but i was too tired to really get upset. bill called me nd stayed on the phone with me for a part of it, which was both unexpected and nice. : ) i gotta remember to keep my fingers crossed for him tomorrow - if all goes well, he'll be a part of the workforce again on Monday!
when i got home i did something bad. bill & max were going to get falafels, and i had them pick up indian food for me. i kept telling myself to not eat out... and then i went & did it : /
the food situation at the house is getting barren. its partially my fault. i used to be the one that does the shopping, but over time, i also realized that i was paying for a lot more then i was eating, and now with me being home even less, it would be even moreso. so i haven't gone shopping. and noone else has either. i think a big chunk of my end of it is that i really like being able to share food in a household, but hate feeling like i'm being bent over backwards. so instead of having a house meeting like a mature adult, i am choosing the avoidance tactic. hell, i've got enough buckwheat to last me for months - lets see how long thier mac'n'cheese lasts them!
blah. there's actually more to the above rant, but i don't feel like getting into it.
& the tea is still a little too hot to drink : /
blah.
its all about timing.
went to read of what was going on this time last year and its weird. so much has changed, so much has stayed the same... the thing that stood out most from a few entries is the amount of afterparties i hosted. we still have them once in a while, but this was like at least twice a month! makes me wonder how social dynamics have changed so much in a year that hosting afterparties isn't as much of a temptation anymore.
also made me remeniss about having a job where i got paid to just sit there rather then doing actual work. not that i think i could take it now... having a totally miserable housing situation was really putting that job in a different perspective for me...
blah. there was more stuff i wanted to write about, but brain is going numb. gonna finish sipping the tea & pass out.
i've resisted passing out for the majority of the evening : (
right now all that's keeping me up is the prospect of having a cup of tea... and then warm blankies, here i come...
today has been an odd day.
it started off okay, and then something pissed me off. i pretty much dealt, but it was almost like a vital wind was knocked out of me - i kept making really really really dumb mistakes. and i could tell that i was fucking up, but was somehow incapable of fixing it on my own. not happy about that at all, though i am trying not think about it too much, and take comfort that it was all fixed quickly.
the drive home was somewhat gruesome, but i was too tired to really get upset. bill called me nd stayed on the phone with me for a part of it, which was both unexpected and nice. : ) i gotta remember to keep my fingers crossed for him tomorrow - if all goes well, he'll be a part of the workforce again on Monday!
when i got home i did something bad. bill & max were going to get falafels, and i had them pick up indian food for me. i kept telling myself to not eat out... and then i went & did it : /
the food situation at the house is getting barren. its partially my fault. i used to be the one that does the shopping, but over time, i also realized that i was paying for a lot more then i was eating, and now with me being home even less, it would be even moreso. so i haven't gone shopping. and noone else has either. i think a big chunk of my end of it is that i really like being able to share food in a household, but hate feeling like i'm being bent over backwards. so instead of having a house meeting like a mature adult, i am choosing the avoidance tactic. hell, i've got enough buckwheat to last me for months - lets see how long thier mac'n'cheese lasts them!
blah. there's actually more to the above rant, but i don't feel like getting into it.
& the tea is still a little too hot to drink : /
blah.
its all about timing.
went to read of what was going on this time last year and its weird. so much has changed, so much has stayed the same... the thing that stood out most from a few entries is the amount of afterparties i hosted. we still have them once in a while, but this was like at least twice a month! makes me wonder how social dynamics have changed so much in a year that hosting afterparties isn't as much of a temptation anymore.
also made me remeniss about having a job where i got paid to just sit there rather then doing actual work. not that i think i could take it now... having a totally miserable housing situation was really putting that job in a different perspective for me...
blah. there was more stuff i wanted to write about, but brain is going numb. gonna finish sipping the tea & pass out.
