(no subject)
Mar. 14th, 2001 07:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendollhi.
my name is yulia, and i have mood swings.
i was just in a perfectly fine mood, but something in the way bill was hurrying to get off the phone turned that around.
why?
i don't have a clue.
he's at work and can't talk long - i know this.
he is making dinner plans with me for his break - i should be happy about this.
but something is just wrong.
and i know its wrong in me.
*sigh*
overall, today wasn't half bad.
when i woke up, bill was holding me, and it made me happy. one of the reasons i was really scared about bill's schedule is i was afraid of losing the falling asleep with him fator, but he has been a sweetheart & has been staying in bed to hold me till i fall asleep - so i end up falling asleep in his arms & then waking up there - which is so great i don't need to think about the fact that half the time i'm asleep he's actually up & around.
work was ok, too.. i did my best to keep a grip enough not to stress out over little things & it worked for the most part... after how shitty i felt yesterday, i'm proud of myself. though i think yestrday (and monday) my hormones being funky had a lot to do with how shitty i was feeling... sometimes it really sucks to be a woman, especially a woman with an ulcer. i'm just really hoping my body isn't starting the 'its spring, must eat every 2 hours' thing - i can't handle that just yet. not even a little bit.
*sigh*
there's so many things in my life i've been putting off.
school is the biggest. i don't even want to talk about it.
next is dr's appointments, banking shtuffs, projects that i've been meaning to start and finish.
my thought keep trailing off to spring. about how nice it will be when its still light out when i get out of work, how i won't feel cooped up between the house, the car and the office, about road trips, camping trips, hell - even the trip to NY the weekend after this one. i just keepthinking abou them.
the trip to NY is so clse yet so far away. i can almost taste the sushi, the pasta from l'oro di napoli.... see myself walking through central park, around the village. they're all sights and sensations so familiar, yet distant and missed. going to ny is the only part i miss about living in NJ...
of course my mom wants to see us too. neither my stepdad or bill have had that news broken to them. poor bill... i know he'll be rather scared... (i don't feel bad for my stepdad, i think his stance is quite unreasonable)
i can't wait to see abi, even if its just for a little bit. i hear her cooing when i talk to my mom on the phone, and i melt... i wish i could be by her, see her doing all her funky stuff...
*wank*
i am getting really hungry.
my name is yulia, and i have mood swings.
i was just in a perfectly fine mood, but something in the way bill was hurrying to get off the phone turned that around.
why?
i don't have a clue.
he's at work and can't talk long - i know this.
he is making dinner plans with me for his break - i should be happy about this.
but something is just wrong.
and i know its wrong in me.
*sigh*
overall, today wasn't half bad.
when i woke up, bill was holding me, and it made me happy. one of the reasons i was really scared about bill's schedule is i was afraid of losing the falling asleep with him fator, but he has been a sweetheart & has been staying in bed to hold me till i fall asleep - so i end up falling asleep in his arms & then waking up there - which is so great i don't need to think about the fact that half the time i'm asleep he's actually up & around.
work was ok, too.. i did my best to keep a grip enough not to stress out over little things & it worked for the most part... after how shitty i felt yesterday, i'm proud of myself. though i think yestrday (and monday) my hormones being funky had a lot to do with how shitty i was feeling... sometimes it really sucks to be a woman, especially a woman with an ulcer. i'm just really hoping my body isn't starting the 'its spring, must eat every 2 hours' thing - i can't handle that just yet. not even a little bit.
*sigh*
there's so many things in my life i've been putting off.
school is the biggest. i don't even want to talk about it.
next is dr's appointments, banking shtuffs, projects that i've been meaning to start and finish.
my thought keep trailing off to spring. about how nice it will be when its still light out when i get out of work, how i won't feel cooped up between the house, the car and the office, about road trips, camping trips, hell - even the trip to NY the weekend after this one. i just keepthinking abou them.
the trip to NY is so clse yet so far away. i can almost taste the sushi, the pasta from l'oro di napoli.... see myself walking through central park, around the village. they're all sights and sensations so familiar, yet distant and missed. going to ny is the only part i miss about living in NJ...
of course my mom wants to see us too. neither my stepdad or bill have had that news broken to them. poor bill... i know he'll be rather scared... (i don't feel bad for my stepdad, i think his stance is quite unreasonable)
i can't wait to see abi, even if its just for a little bit. i hear her cooing when i talk to my mom on the phone, and i melt... i wish i could be by her, see her doing all her funky stuff...
*wank*
i am getting really hungry.
