i just want to say...

[elvendoll]

i was very unproductive today.
in fact, the only productive thing i did was figure out most of the bills. no, they weren't pretty.
went out to dinner... was actually in a decent mood while the guiness of the meal was in my system...
came back, figured out bills, spent an hour on the phone with ex-m1, and not getting enough credit to justify waiting on hold that long, showered, went to MR, and (as you can see by the timestamp) came back early.
it just wasn't doing anything for me.
only a couple of people i knew, i didn't feel up to dancing, and was generally feeling disgruntled. decided my time is better spent sleeping.
tomorrow is another stab at plans with bill, and i really really have to get the damn lightbulbs up in my room & do laundry. and a few other chores. *tries not to stress over it tonight*

oh, and i had a really fucked up dream last night. like i don't even want to talk about it fucked up. and i didn't remember it at all until i was standing in my boss's office, discussing a question. and out of nowhere, most of it came back to me. and its been flipping me out since. i just want to forget it again *stomp*

PS. i apologize for this entry being whiny. if it really bothers you, though, i would recommend not reading again for a few months. fall is here, and i am scared shitless because i already see myself being affected by it.

Comments

[tobi.livejournal.com]

From Mayoclinic.com

Treatment


Treatments may include:

Light therapy. For many people, this is the main treatment for SAD and is used only during winter. In light therapy, you sit a few feet away from a special lamp that's 10 to 20 times brighter than ordinary indoor lights for about 30 minutes each day. Studies indicate that light therapy is most effective when you undergo it as the first thing upon waking up in the morning. Doctors aren't sure how light therapy works, and it doesn't work for everybody.
Medication. Your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant, such as paroxetine (Paxil), sertraline (Zoloft), fluoxetine (Prozac) or venlafaxine (Effexor). The duration of treatment with medications varies. Based on your past history of SAD, your doctor may suggest you start medication before the time your symptoms have usually developed and continue the medication beyond the time the symptoms have usually abated. This may be from the middle of autumn to the middle of spring. If you have a double depression, in which an underlying depression is complicated during the winter by SAD, your doctor may prescribe treatment with medication for a longer period.
Psychotherapy. Psychotherapy helps you identify and modify negative thoughts and behaviors that may play a role in bringing about symptoms of SAD. You and your psychiatrist or psychologist may also talk about ways to reduce stress in your life.

Coping Strategies


These lifestyle changes may help you better manage SAD:

Increase the amount of light in your home. Add skylights and trim tree branches that block sunlight.
Walk outdoors on sunny days, even during winter.
If possible, take winter vacations in a sunny, warm location.
Exercise regularly. Physical exercise helps relieve stress and anxiety, which can accentuate SAD. Being more fit can make you feel better about yourself.
Learn ways to better manage stress.


If it scares you shitless then dont just accept it. Try some of these because currently you're not trying any of these. They may help.

*hugs* i know it's hard for you. good luck