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[elvendoll]

all day today, i kept smelling the hoodie to make myself smile... it still smells like campfire, though it is also fading fast,,,
i absolutely love campfires. i think it may be one of the bigger reasons i like camping.

and i was glad to be back at cauldron farms, too... it feels so familiar to me now... definitely still a safe spot.
this is going to make for a hard decision two weeks from now (when i have the option of going there again).
in theory, i'd love to go. it just gets to damn cold at night, though, and doing it alone just makes it that much colder...

but yeah... being by the fire was great... as was seeing some of the people there... it feels weird to have a moderate amount of people abruptly drop out of your life due to a breakup... and it also made me feel really good that noone there treated me like 'the x'. and i brought way more sandwiches then i could eat, and it made me realize something - i think i like being the sandwich fairy : ) next big camping trip i think i'll go out of my way to make a whole crapload & feed people all weekend ... i just might need to invest in a bigger (or better) cooler by then, too...

but ugh.. i have been so out of it all day today... sleepy as all hell... i just don't want to fuck up my sleep cycle by napping. its funny, though.. i don't nap because i don't want tofuck up my sleep schedule... and i don't let myself go to bed early, because i am afraid thats the depression talking... and then i am susprised that i never feel rested. (though i do think a nice chunk of it is depression/not forcing myself to be active when i am awake). and i don't want to go to the club tonight because i feel like i've gone too often lately. i'm not in the mood to be a fixture.

blah. i am just moody and will shut up now.
if anyone feels up to meeting up to go for a walk, lemme know...

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[mortis.livejournal.com]

How about tomorrow night? :)