i'm still moody...
Oct. 9th, 2001 09:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elvendoll...i was hoping to be in a good mood to write an update, but i guess it just isn't happening...
a lot has gone on in the past couple of days, which in a way, i am happy about. some of it wasn't good though, and i feel like an ass because i'm just pushing the issues out of sight. but its been getting me through the day. so, in this entry, i am going to write about the good stuff : )
Saturday afternoon i saw blue man group for the first time. i loved it : ) i don't know if i want to describe it - but there's scenes from it that were moments frozen in time, and lemme tell you - i was smiling wide the entire show. in a way, i felt awkward going there, because i'd been meaning to see it since it opened off-broadway in 95 (a friend at the time had gone to see it and loved it) and its taken me this long to actually get off my butt and do it. but that's just my pretentious side kicking in, and i have to shut it up and remember how much i enjoyed the show : )
afterwards, the group of us went for vietnamese food - that was definitely an experience : )
the menu was beyond ambiguous - i pretty much randomly picked what i was going to have... and though it looked really awkward at first, it was really quite yummy. and i, for one, think playing with your food is fun : P
afterwards, scuba and i hung around the house for a little bit, and headed off to the show at the middle east - for some reason, i find it easier to get my ass out of the house when i am trying to motivate others to do so : )
the show, save for one set that made me cringe, gave me a headache and broke me for the night, was good. and it was a nice surprise to see brian out and about : )
and damnit, it just felt good to be doing stuff - to be out & about myself, and to see art, in various forms. i may not be able to make art of my own, but in percieving what i lack, i appreciate it that much more in others...
monday at work was trying. thats just all i'm going to say..
i don't remember what i did when i first got home - probably vegged in one way or another.... my memory only kicks on to when, flipping through the channels, i saw the alegria, the movie, was playing on one of the HBO chanels. adam was home... i called for him, but he must not have heard me - i meant to go and grab him, but i could get my butt of the couch.
i was floored, and nearly in tears for most of the movie. visually, it was gorgeous... the leading actors were amazing - and i absolutely loved the (russian) clowns - typically, you never see good clowns up close - you're sitting far away, and they're up on a stage - this was different. and it really struck me...
i really wish more of the music from the show was in the movie, but was there had a dual effect. first, it pulled me to when i saw alegria live - 15, not knowing what to expect from the show, and for the first time, cuddling with a boy. (micah ellenson. i wonder if he remembers me. i found his email address ont he web one day, but never emailed him. guess curousity hasn't killed the cat yet). feeling that type of closeness and connection for the very first time came back to me... and so did nourishing a crush on the boy for months. little high school crushes... and then there was owning the alegria cd (which got lost at one of bill's old houses), listening to it with chris, and with bill. such different, sometimes awkward, stages of my life. happy memories for the most part - the kind that make you cry...
i really do love the music...
in thinking about it later, i have decided that the ending sucked.
but, i still loved the movie as a whole : )
after picking myself off the ground after that, i decided to head off to ceremony - when feeling vaguely inspired, it is a good idea to head out (at least, for those of us who haven't been pulled to pen & paper in a while)
ceremony definately had its ups and downs. unfortunately, i ws in ahurry getting dressed, and had not bothered to relace my boots (which have zipper & laces) from last winter, and as a result, the didn't fit right around my foot & ankles, and made dancing pretty much out of the question (i actually tried & failed once : ) )
unfortunately, towards midnight, my body reached that stage where it was ready to curl up and sleep - no matter what. i was struggling to keep myself awake for the remainder of the night. at the time, it was most reminiscent of fuel nights, where after fuel, we'd go to deli haus, and i would chatter with others for a while, but at some point, would just lay down on the seat and sleep until the others were ready to go...
when i got home last night, i must've forgotten to set my alarm clock, because this morning, i opened my eyes to see the clock say 8am (it is a half hour off, so it was actually 7:30) and the alarm light off. i asked myself why i was not getting up - debated whether or not it was sunday, and then was hit by memories & realization that its time to get up. leave it to my body to function without any help frommy consciousness.
the first half of the day at work was ok - i was so bouncy, i even thought i could go to the gym after work and then cook dinner.
but... by the endof the day, that was long gone. i got a bit overwhelmed, and stressed, and generally unhappy. didn't make it to the gym, have vegged since i got home (and still feel on the ucky side) and had a nuked frozen pizza (which wasn't that great or that filling)
buffy was good though : ) and i think this house is destined to have guests on tuesdays - which i like (even if i am embarrassed by the mess)
some thoughts have been getting mulled around in my head lately.
i thought i was ready to share them, but i guess i am not.
a lot has gone on in the past couple of days, which in a way, i am happy about. some of it wasn't good though, and i feel like an ass because i'm just pushing the issues out of sight. but its been getting me through the day. so, in this entry, i am going to write about the good stuff : )
Saturday afternoon i saw blue man group for the first time. i loved it : ) i don't know if i want to describe it - but there's scenes from it that were moments frozen in time, and lemme tell you - i was smiling wide the entire show. in a way, i felt awkward going there, because i'd been meaning to see it since it opened off-broadway in 95 (a friend at the time had gone to see it and loved it) and its taken me this long to actually get off my butt and do it. but that's just my pretentious side kicking in, and i have to shut it up and remember how much i enjoyed the show : )
afterwards, the group of us went for vietnamese food - that was definitely an experience : )
the menu was beyond ambiguous - i pretty much randomly picked what i was going to have... and though it looked really awkward at first, it was really quite yummy. and i, for one, think playing with your food is fun : P
afterwards, scuba and i hung around the house for a little bit, and headed off to the show at the middle east - for some reason, i find it easier to get my ass out of the house when i am trying to motivate others to do so : )
the show, save for one set that made me cringe, gave me a headache and broke me for the night, was good. and it was a nice surprise to see brian out and about : )
and damnit, it just felt good to be doing stuff - to be out & about myself, and to see art, in various forms. i may not be able to make art of my own, but in percieving what i lack, i appreciate it that much more in others...
monday at work was trying. thats just all i'm going to say..
i don't remember what i did when i first got home - probably vegged in one way or another.... my memory only kicks on to when, flipping through the channels, i saw the alegria, the movie, was playing on one of the HBO chanels. adam was home... i called for him, but he must not have heard me - i meant to go and grab him, but i could get my butt of the couch.
i was floored, and nearly in tears for most of the movie. visually, it was gorgeous... the leading actors were amazing - and i absolutely loved the (russian) clowns - typically, you never see good clowns up close - you're sitting far away, and they're up on a stage - this was different. and it really struck me...
i really wish more of the music from the show was in the movie, but was there had a dual effect. first, it pulled me to when i saw alegria live - 15, not knowing what to expect from the show, and for the first time, cuddling with a boy. (micah ellenson. i wonder if he remembers me. i found his email address ont he web one day, but never emailed him. guess curousity hasn't killed the cat yet). feeling that type of closeness and connection for the very first time came back to me... and so did nourishing a crush on the boy for months. little high school crushes... and then there was owning the alegria cd (which got lost at one of bill's old houses), listening to it with chris, and with bill. such different, sometimes awkward, stages of my life. happy memories for the most part - the kind that make you cry...
i really do love the music...
in thinking about it later, i have decided that the ending sucked.
but, i still loved the movie as a whole : )
after picking myself off the ground after that, i decided to head off to ceremony - when feeling vaguely inspired, it is a good idea to head out (at least, for those of us who haven't been pulled to pen & paper in a while)
ceremony definately had its ups and downs. unfortunately, i ws in ahurry getting dressed, and had not bothered to relace my boots (which have zipper & laces) from last winter, and as a result, the didn't fit right around my foot & ankles, and made dancing pretty much out of the question (i actually tried & failed once : ) )
unfortunately, towards midnight, my body reached that stage where it was ready to curl up and sleep - no matter what. i was struggling to keep myself awake for the remainder of the night. at the time, it was most reminiscent of fuel nights, where after fuel, we'd go to deli haus, and i would chatter with others for a while, but at some point, would just lay down on the seat and sleep until the others were ready to go...
when i got home last night, i must've forgotten to set my alarm clock, because this morning, i opened my eyes to see the clock say 8am (it is a half hour off, so it was actually 7:30) and the alarm light off. i asked myself why i was not getting up - debated whether or not it was sunday, and then was hit by memories & realization that its time to get up. leave it to my body to function without any help frommy consciousness.
the first half of the day at work was ok - i was so bouncy, i even thought i could go to the gym after work and then cook dinner.
but... by the endof the day, that was long gone. i got a bit overwhelmed, and stressed, and generally unhappy. didn't make it to the gym, have vegged since i got home (and still feel on the ucky side) and had a nuked frozen pizza (which wasn't that great or that filling)
buffy was good though : ) and i think this house is destined to have guests on tuesdays - which i like (even if i am embarrassed by the mess)
some thoughts have been getting mulled around in my head lately.
i thought i was ready to share them, but i guess i am not.
