Pre-Sleep Babblings...

i'm just a whole big mess of indecision tonight...
my tummy feels icky, but i can't decide if i should go upstairs & eat, or ignore it by going to sleep...
and its just midnight, and i'm sort of tired, so i'm torn between staying up just because its early to get to bed, or going to bed even though it make take some time before i fall asleep...
and most of all, i am torn between utter boredom and feeling restless...
i forgot to bring a book with me here, i am not really in the mood to do anything overly constructive like taking up a project, and the family/weekend net life just hasn't been able to hold my attention... so, i've been feeling bored cuz there's really not much to do, and restless cuz i haven't been doing much...
and in some ways, i will be happy to get home tomorrow, and in others, i'm almost tempted to stay here for another day...
i guess most of all i've been working on not stressing, and at some points its been hard, and at others, easy... being on break from school is great : )
speaking of school... they're being ont he funky side... it seems like both of my professors asked for extentions on turning in the grades, so on the web portal into the grade systems, it just says 'no grade submitted'... then by the bottom, it says i have 12 credits over summer (which is all good) and 62 credits cumulative.. and it should be at 65 now... so a part of me wants to panick about having failed one of my classes... and i'm try keep that part of me safely gagged & tied.. but it keeps making these whimpering noises, damnit!
an easy solution would be to call each of the departments & see if they have the grades, but i never think of that before 4 (when they close), and the school webpage makes department phone numbers really hard to find, as they don't seem to be listed in the directory, or departmental homepages...
i think thats just their way of keeping the information from me... and soon... soon... i will thwart their plan!
j/k *giggles*
the other thing about school is that i'm on the nervous side about needing to adjust to a 4 months semester vs. the 6 week ones i've gotten used to in the past 3 months... its nothing really major, just a twinge of insecurity...
now if i could only thwart my insecurities, life would probably be a lot better...
(i think that was captain obvious rearing his ugly head again! ; ) )
well, i should be getting to sleep... i gotta wake up early & haul arse to the inspection station (new jersey has actually free ones! that feels so odd after having lived in taxachuessetts for three years!)... and damnit, my car will pass no matter what my stepdad says!
::thinking back to car::
well, as long they don't mind the horrendous mess that is inside it!
(mental note: really aught to get to cleaning it out before school starts)

well, really... gonna... get to bed... now...

~yulia

Road-Worn

well, i'm now back...
after 3.5 hours of racing through the highways, i am pretty worn out...
i think this calls for an evening of being lazy and eating ice cream... yeah...
...i just really wish i could squeeze my grades out of the damn umass registrar...

Blah!

argh!
there was actually stuff i wanted to say int hat last entry, but didn't...
i'm just really out of it... its been a tiring day, moreso emotionally then physically...
getting the car inspected ended up being a lot more then i am used to... on the recommendation of my stepdad i went to a private inspection station, the one that he goes to, and the guy there ended up making me feel really uncomfortable... he just had this icky vibe, and was acting really cold, unfriendly with this 'you're in my way by existing attitude', and the whole thing took a lot longer then i expected, and by the time i got back to my mom's house it was like 15 to 2, and 2 was my latest-time-to-depart based on my own little internal schedule...
and to top it off, my momhadn't gotten back from getting debbie sandals when i got in, which made me rather unhappy... add in me fliiping out cuz bill said something that struck me the wrong way and there was my afternoon.
my mom ended up getting in around 3, and i was off by 3:30ish...
considering that it took 15 minutes to get gas, and i made 1 stop ont he drive, i made more then amazing time down... mostly to the fact that i was driving just waaay too fast for 98% of the drive... i had a pretty bad scare when there was a cruiser behind me as i was going 85, but luckily he didn't pull me over..
and you'd think that something like that would cause me to slow down for the rest of the drive... but no... and after a bit i found a car going even faster then me & followed it behind enough so as it would catch any speed traps (which there weren't)... but its just like i start driving fast... and over the length of the trip, the speed just goes up, and nothing short of putting myself on cruise control slows me down.. cuz even when i try to drive slow the needle just starts climbing after a while!
i guess its a good thing i only make that drive no more thenonce a month, huh?

and now i am back.. and just chilling at the house...
bill sethis computer up in our room while mine is still in the living room.. and it just makes me feel more distant from him...
its so hard not to expect things to just snap back into happy mode after the funk we've hit : (
sometimes i just wish i could time travel back to 3 months ago and stay there... *grumble*
but life doesn't work that way, does it?

well, bill just im'd me that he's going to bed... so i'm gonna go join him : )

~yulia