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Dec. 3rd, 2000
it all happens slowly
Dec. 3rd, 2000 04:39 amyes, i am still up..
but i think, maybe, soon, i can go to bed.
no more having 3 drinks until my tolerance is higher.
especially if i am not dancing it off ; P
reread the written section.
the first poem made me wish i felt that close to bill still. in some ways we're closer now, but that NRE is gone - its like knowin and feeling each other has become a more background function - one that we don't focus on much anymore. and on the one hand, i realize thats just how relationaships are and appreciate the growth that we have done, but the romantic in me misses it
the second one - i so wish i was still the person that wrote that. seems latly i've been more into building a home for myself within the ground then on walking around in the open.
*sigh*
thirdone? won't even go there.
but i think, maybe, soon, i can go to bed.
no more having 3 drinks until my tolerance is higher.
especially if i am not dancing it off ; P
reread the written section.
the first poem made me wish i felt that close to bill still. in some ways we're closer now, but that NRE is gone - its like knowin and feeling each other has become a more background function - one that we don't focus on much anymore. and on the one hand, i realize thats just how relationaships are and appreciate the growth that we have done, but the romantic in me misses it
the second one - i so wish i was still the person that wrote that. seems latly i've been more into building a home for myself within the ground then on walking around in the open.
*sigh*
thirdone? won't even go there.
next day's scheduled down moment.
Dec. 3rd, 2000 05:52 pmhome alone again.
feeling all kins off funky.
i had slept surprisingly well last night, not considering that said sleeping didn't start till 5am.
the first time i woke up was around 10:30 - and i felt refreshed. but decided it was too early and tried to fall back asleep...
then the half-awake half-asleep mode kicked in, and when i finally decided to get up i was surprised it was 2 pm, not noonish.
its okay though - sleeping in on a sunday i all good, and left me less daylight hours to keep myself sane during.
i spent a bit of time online... started cleaning up the kitchen a bit, and took a load of towels (which were supposed to have been done like 3 weeks ago, but bill kept putting it off, and they got stuffed into the computer closet, which is where i found them last night).
got most of the kitchen cleaned up when matty showed up... he brought his sister and her 4 kids to help. i was just flabbargested(sp) at first - definately one of those thing i like to be warned about in advance. made me realize that kid-energy does great for moving though...
he also has some common-space stuff that i wish i had been asked about in advance, but i think that s a running theme with all the boys who've moved in here, and i am definately learning my lesson of not stressing over it too much. not to mention that i hadn't asked him explicitly about that.
he has a ton of stuff for his room ,too - i ahve no clue how he is going to fit everything in... that one is just idle curiousity though : )
colleen had come down for a bit, and it was cool to have someone i am more comfortable with to be here... i so wished the boys were home...
but, everyone is gone now.
i still have to clean mine & bill's room and do the dishes, too...
also kinda wish bill would get in touch with me & let me know when he's coming home, but i'm at trying to not let that stress me..
feeling all kins off funky.
i had slept surprisingly well last night, not considering that said sleeping didn't start till 5am.
the first time i woke up was around 10:30 - and i felt refreshed. but decided it was too early and tried to fall back asleep...
then the half-awake half-asleep mode kicked in, and when i finally decided to get up i was surprised it was 2 pm, not noonish.
its okay though - sleeping in on a sunday i all good, and left me less daylight hours to keep myself sane during.
i spent a bit of time online... started cleaning up the kitchen a bit, and took a load of towels (which were supposed to have been done like 3 weeks ago, but bill kept putting it off, and they got stuffed into the computer closet, which is where i found them last night).
got most of the kitchen cleaned up when matty showed up... he brought his sister and her 4 kids to help. i was just flabbargested(sp) at first - definately one of those thing i like to be warned about in advance. made me realize that kid-energy does great for moving though...
he also has some common-space stuff that i wish i had been asked about in advance, but i think that s a running theme with all the boys who've moved in here, and i am definately learning my lesson of not stressing over it too much. not to mention that i hadn't asked him explicitly about that.
he has a ton of stuff for his room ,too - i ahve no clue how he is going to fit everything in... that one is just idle curiousity though : )
colleen had come down for a bit, and it was cool to have someone i am more comfortable with to be here... i so wished the boys were home...
but, everyone is gone now.
i still have to clean mine & bill's room and do the dishes, too...
also kinda wish bill would get in touch with me & let me know when he's coming home, but i'm at trying to not let that stress me..
i am trying to work on depth, but i am at the bio page, and its just too hard. trying to put myself back into a time that was so miserable for me... i get stuck in moments, feel horrible, and realize there's so many more moments that i haven't even touched on that were even more horrible.
*sigh*
but this 'project' is definately taking me way too long : /
*grumble*
meanwhile, everyone else in the apartment is glued to the (new, big) tv & sci fi's production of dune. which is cool, just not my thing for the moment.
oh, and to recap a bit - bill got home like a half hour after my last entry... walked in, gave me hugs & kisses, and then said 'oh, there is somehting i should tell you' - kevin & claire were no more then 10 minutes behind him.
overall, i woulda had appreciated some notice to make myself presentable, but its no biggie. everything is chill and thats what matters most : )
also got to see tobi for a bit today, which was really cool... our talks are far between these days, and i miss her a lot...
oh, and i haven't bitched about the cold yet, have i?
brrrr!
heh.. i have my winamp set to a playlist of 150+ sings, on random shuffle. and its funny, because it will go for weekd without playing some songs, and then i will hear them.. and appreciate them that much more...
*sigh*
but this 'project' is definately taking me way too long : /
*grumble*
meanwhile, everyone else in the apartment is glued to the (new, big) tv & sci fi's production of dune. which is cool, just not my thing for the moment.
oh, and to recap a bit - bill got home like a half hour after my last entry... walked in, gave me hugs & kisses, and then said 'oh, there is somehting i should tell you' - kevin & claire were no more then 10 minutes behind him.
overall, i woulda had appreciated some notice to make myself presentable, but its no biggie. everything is chill and thats what matters most : )
also got to see tobi for a bit today, which was really cool... our talks are far between these days, and i miss her a lot...
oh, and i haven't bitched about the cold yet, have i?
brrrr!
heh.. i have my winamp set to a playlist of 150+ sings, on random shuffle. and its funny, because it will go for weekd without playing some songs, and then i will hear them.. and appreciate them that much more...