(no subject)

[elvendoll]

its a tightrope, i don't want to keep whining, but i also can't hold this shit in.

i'm just so sick and fucking tired of this
it feels like aside from sol3, there isn't anything good in my life and that isn't good/healthy for me or reasonable to/for him.
work's been this mess of weirdness that is mostly in my own head.
i'm not feeling grounded with the class at all - the lectures are okay, but they don't even touch on the readings, which i'm super behind on. the midterm is like this looming iceberg and because the lectures aren't connected to the readings, i have no clue what kind of questions he's going to ask or what his grading style is.
i feel a combination of defensive and vulnerable with just about everyone in my life; like i'm fucking up left and right and if i don't hide, it'll be thrown in my face one way or another.
constantly being cold makes trying to be productive incredibly hard - i get home and sit down on the couch and getting up means being colder, and so i avoid it to what is reaching unhealthy levels.
and not being productive leaves me feeling hollow and subhuman.
and all of these twist themselves into cycles.

Comments

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

You're too hard on yourself sometimes. =(
Just don't forget to take deep breaths. Try concentrating on making progress in one area that's bothering you, rather than trying to solve them all in your head all at once(I should talk). A little progress at one thing may bolster your confidence when approaching the other things.

[jedi.livejournal.com]

You need a good pair of thermals, and or a big ass fur coat, and a healthy addiction to some kind of video game or project that doesn't instill stress.

[kittypie.livejournal.com]

i know this is going to sound lame, and i'm sure you're aware of it - but seriously... going to the gym or yoga or whatever helps soooo much with keeping you mentally healthy. i used to roll my eyes at the idea but it's helped me with keeping positive, which is what you need to do to get through these bumps. i know you don't have much time to set aside for this, but think of it as an investment in your mental and physical health. it's really really important, and it will make things flow, i promise. these cycles will just continue otherwise... and i know exactly how it is because the same thing happens to me. i always make excuses for not keeping fit (no time, etc) but it's honestly worth it to skip something else (tv watching for example) and take care of myself.
if you need me, im here for ya honey, always.
xoxo

[tobi.livejournal.com]

*hug*

take a long warm shower and do something nice for yourself. treat yourself to sushi or a good movie.

[pir.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[xevb3k.livejournal.com]

I often feel the same way. Sometimes, it seems like there are only one or two truly sane people in my life. It's good that you have someone like that in your life. Maybe his presence will help you in how you communicate/feel around everyone else.

[iluxa.livejournal.com]

damn, this sucks. wish you were better.

i wholly understand how you feel, and feel the same thing often, unfortunately. being unproductive is definitely making me feel subhuman too, but it's so hard to be productive when so much is drained out of you at work.

i think the person with the gym definitely has part of the idea. hopefully when the weather gets better, at least more physical activity and sun will seep into your life, which'll make you feel better, and cause you to do things that are good for you.

for now, take it one thing at a time, i guess, if that makes sense.